THE RIGHT TASTE AT THE WRONG TIME
SPEND THE DAY

my days went as I expected, I worked so hard and saved well so that I could finish my promise with myself that these 2 years I would focus on myself and my family after that I would ready to spend the day with him.

for over a year I tried so hard that sometimes I put myself aside, I focused so much on my promises that I forgot about my own happiness, my world was fixed on him which I thought would wait for me for 2 years.

I had imagined living with him, there was a little bit of concern I would have him stay the same but my faith in him made me feel that he was waiting for me, she also sent me messages so often that I felt she was really waiting for me.

I live my days with the shadow that you and I will be together, it kept me excited until one day at the beginning of the year a friend told me I was going to have a wedding with someone.

I was so shocked but I kept trying to be calm and ordinary so that no one would know how broken my heart was then, I asked a close friend of yours and he said yes that you would get married, if you knew? my world instantly collapses my dreams and my dreams of you crumble as soon as you destroy everything.

I'm really disappointed in you, I feel like I want to yell and curse at you but I have to stay calm. And the silence at night made me pensive in my room and made me want to cry but my tears were reluctant to come out, the pain and the breaking of my heart I could not let out with a cry.

the next day she sent me her wedding invitation with no explanation at all, as if there was nothing to explain. I was eager to meet her and asked her directly "why not tell her from the beginning? the reason you chose me then why? why are you suddenly with someone else?" I have a lot of things to say but I realize I have no right to ask you.

I only congratulate you and wish you the best, but in my heart I am very disappointed in you. My disappointment I can't explain what I thought at the time was just pain, sadness, and a sense of no longer wanting to believe in men's speech.

I thought you were different from everyone else, but I was wrong. If you knew how hard it would be to keep smiling and looking good, if you knew the pain I couldn't get out of crying, if you knew how broken I was. But you don't care, do you? coming up with hope and leaving for no reason is so sad, isn't it. I'm like a fool expecting you, I realize that it's my fault for wishing you too much that it ends up hurting myself, your way of convincing me I can't leave aside.I'm afraid of hurting you but it's different with you, isn't it? even you heartlessly broke my heart.

and it is time for me to stop and restore myself again.I must rise up and continue my journey that I have started even without any more shadow of you as my destination.