Morning Star
Avoiding the Wounds

Just because I wanted to avoid the Stars I had to be willing to arrive at school this early. Not to mention facing the eyes of children who look astonished to see my eyes are soft and swollen.

After coming home from Adira's birthday party yesterday I just locked myself in my room crying. For the umpteenth time my heart was broken by the same man. I sometimes wonder, why do people who often hurt who we have to love?

This is how it feels to be taken flying high and then slammed into the earth. Disappointed when we start to believe that he is worth fighting for.

I breathe heavily. I should have chosen to skip school. Why hasn't that been thought of by me since?

"Kejora,"

The call came from the doorstep of the class. It turned out to be the voice of Keisha who had just come.

"Lo why? Wait-wait! Your eyes are also red. What the hell is it? Lo abis nangis? Story to me," Keisha's cerocos that's been frenzied as ever.

I breathed a tired breath. "Gue males wants a story. My heart hurts. It's very painful,"

Keisha further knitted her brows in wonder. "Aren't you coming home from the party? Why are you crying?"

I no longer answer Keisha's questions. I don't even want to talk about this anymore and try to forget about it. But no matter how strong my intention was to forget the edges of the scene was still spinning back in my head, making me want to cry once more. I still can't believe a star can be this evil.

"Gue guess what. It's all because of the stars, right? What else are you the same guy? There's no boss he makes you cry." guess Keisha with a look of annoyed face.

I nodded in response. Keisha, who was sitting next to me, shook her head several times.

"Oh, I swear, guys! Why else would he do Ra? Gregetan I'm the same as him."

Not to answer my tears have escaped to wet my cheeks. Even some of the children who had just entered the classroom had glanced at me as well. Maybe they were surprised by me who was this early in the morning was crying indistinctly.

"The night before Adira's birthday show began, the stars sweetly said the same to me if he loved me. I was so happy with that from him. I'm happy that he also has the same feelings as me, Kei,"

Keisha looked serious listening to my story. He is still waiting for the continuation of my sentence that still hangs earlier.

"But when the night of Adira's birthday show arrives, I get a text message from an unknown number. He ngaku as a star and he asked me to go to the front yard of the villa. The star says he wants to show me something,"

My tears are breaking now. Keisha who felt sorry for me tried to calm me down. He stroked my arm for a moment.

"Lo know Kei, what did I see when I got to the yard? I saw the Stars again kissing each other in the car. My heart hurts Kei. I'm like that little fool."

Keisha heard that and hugged me. I cried in her arms even though the children of one class were looking at me with different eyes. Some of them may feel pity. Maybe some of them are sneering, especially the Lolita Cs gang whose stool is not far from me. They used to be one of those Star fans who didn't like me.

"What is the star of Giniin lo Ra? I'm also surprised, why the hell you can like the same guy who has been obviously sick of you from the past?" keisha commented after breaking my arms.

If I have been asked that question, I cannot answer it anymore.

"Lo is aware of not Ra, as long as you like the stars there are how many girls who are also close to him? Did Natalie, Trus Bulan, and now come with another woman? Are you sure you want to survive with the stars? Do you feel strong in sick continue to be like this? Not only once twice Bintang make you cry. Mending you think again Ra. My advice, you're a star."

I fell silent as I was still digesting the sentences Keisha had spoken one by one. Everything Keisha said was true. Do I have to forget the stars from now on? I have not tried it before, but I have always failed.

"Gue doesn't know what to do anymore. I am also confused about how to behave if for example I meet a star. I want to go home to my own house for a while, Kei. I want to be alone."

Keisha just nodded in agreement. He took my hand and smiled. "Gue will nginep at your home and nemenin you make this mall. I don't want my best friend to be sad,"

I smiled at Keisha. "Thank you, Kei. You've always been there for me, and you've always wanted to be my venturing place all this time."

"Yes, equally. That's what friends are for. I can meet the stars. I will make the same calculation with him," said Keisha as she clenched her hand in front of me.

I just ignored Keisha's words. It wasn't just the painful scene that let me down at the stars. In my heart I was still wondering why he didn't meet me that night and explain what really happened? Even now the stars have not told me.

What does everything you said to me yesterday mean nothing at all, Bintang?

***

Tonight it suddenly rained so hard. I am so grateful that Keisha can accompany me in this house. I'm always afraid of having to face the rain alone.

The clock now shows at 7 p.m. Keisha and I have been busy with the Korean dramas we still watch. My phone suddenly rang and shifted my focus to the call.

"Here, let me lift it!"

Suddenly Keisha took my phone forcibly. Maybe he was wondering why I didn't pick up his phone so soon that he chose to look at the caller.

"Hello?"

Keisha's voice sounded completely unfriendly. Even impressed to snarl. I also resigned and let Keisha talk to the Stars.

"Gue Keisha's. What else do you want to do with Kejora? Belom satisfied you hurt him?"

I don't know what the Stars are talking about there, the clear look on Keisha's face is getting angrier now.

"Gue Kejora will not want to see you again. And be careful until you dare to make my best friend cry again. I'm thinking of you!"

After that sentence Keisha then closed her phone connection. I was wondering what the Star said just now?

"What did the star say Kei?" I asked who was curious.

"Lo's room window can see the front yard of your house?" Keisha actually asked back and even got out of the topic of my question just now.

I frowned not understanding. I finally answered that strange question. "Could anyway. Why why?"

"The stars are in your yard now. He said he wanted to meet you,"

"Lo's no longer joking, is he Kei? It's not possible. Outside of that rain."

Keisha just put his shoulder out. "Lo look at it from your bedroom window. The star is not outside."

Wanting to prove Keisha's point, I ran straight to the window. I opened the curtain of the window and immediately looked down.

The stars are there. Under the torrent of rain and even without an umbrella, he stood looking up at my room. My heart feels like it's sliced back. What else do stars want to do now? Does he want to apologize? Does he want to explain who the woman he kissed was?

"Now what should I do Kei? I'm really confused about having to hold a star with what attitude,"

Keisha then got out of bed. He also peeked at the stars from my bedroom window.

"Lo calm down. Let's see how long he'll be at home like that. Tears are also paid a lot. Just follow my way of playing,"

In my true heart I could not bear to see such a raining star. But I was also still upset and very disappointed in him. It seems like all this is making me dizzy.

"But if something happens to the same star how? It rained outside,"

Keisha seemed to think about my sentence just now. Once again he saw the faithful Star standing in the rain.

"Yes too. But, do you want to meet him? Are you ready to accept whatever he says later?"

I'm not really sure. And if asked ready or not I would say no. I'm afraid the Star will say something that makes my heart hurt again later. But I also know that avoiding is not the right solution to solve the problem.

Mind confused. I don't know which one to follow right now. Follow my own heart or listen to Keisha's advice not to see the Stars.

I dropped my body on the bed. Thinking about all these increasingly complicated things. Maybe I'll just call the stars and tell her to go home. Without having to go out and meet him.

Not until I dialed the number, the star actually called me first. I slowly put my phone in my ear and listened to her voice.

"Gue won't leave here before you go out and find me. We need to talk, Ra. You have to explain me."

Just that sentence and the connection was immediately severed. I wonder, what else will the Star explain to me? Will the drama like before be repeated?

Loving you why must this hurt anyway, Bintang?!

***