MARRY MY LOVER'S BEST FRIEND
CHAPTER 131

My tears were reluctant to flow, my eyes were empty and my mind was empty. Sad and angry mixed into one but I don't know who all these emotions are. It felt like I just wanted to devote my whole life to my little family so I decided to leave all especially my career which was at the top. Then now for whom is all this if finally Arka no longer accompany me to build our household? Although we have been together for a long time but it feels like only yesterday I fell in love with him and feel like I have it completely but am I really destined not to live with the people I love? When I loved Awan, my match with Arka forced us to separate but when my love began to bloom and bloom for Arka, death separated us.

Last night he looked fine but the morning I woke up in his arms, his body was cold, no more heartbeats that would normally be my favorite rhythm, no longer did Arka answer when I repeatedly even called him with all my energy. He did not move, nor did he feel a breath in his nose. My hysterical shout made Mbok Welas panic and ask Rayi for help. Rinto rushed Arka to the hospital to confirm everything but not for an hour came news that seemed to weaken my entire nervous system. I shed all the tears and loss in Rayi's lap trying to calm me down. My tears are not because I am not sincere and not willing to lose Arka but what about Aahva and Bening? They won't have as good a memory with their father as I have. Who will accompany Aahva to play in the afternoon as usual, who will hum to lull Bening? How firm am I to stand up to this moment because of the figure of the father who always supports me, then who will support Aahva and Bening?

I need to be sincere and consider this is the best, Arka no longer feels pain. All the suffering is over. Arka also does not need to continue to feel guilty for failing to fulfill his promise to take care of me. He felt like he had failed to become the great husband and father he had dreamed of all along. I don't deserve to fall because Arka just wanted me to live in a happy state and always be okay. At this funeral it's quiet already Arka. The clear in my sling was asleep and the Aahva I was holding was seen playing with the flower that spread a distinctive aroma on the mound of earth on which was traced to a tombstone and engraved the name Arka Aryasetya. The second time I fell silent and refused to leave the cemetery. First at my father's funeral, and this time at my husband's. Two great men who filled my life. I will definitely try to be okay and try to always be happy for the sake of the father and Arka.

...****************...

It's been almost three months since Arka's departure and I feel like I can put my heart and mind together and be ready for the days without her. I have a lot of business to deal with and for that I have to stand up straight. Remembering the message of the mother, who goes let go, we who are still left must still fight so as not to trouble ourselves and others. Yes, I want to be like a mother who can walk despite being a widow.

"Nangiso Kas, don't keep it," Rayi said as we both sat at the cafe where I first met Arka.

"I'm not that cute Ra," I refused while stirring coffee in front of me.

"It's not a problem of whiny, fear that you hold too much can be depression," said Rayi again gave an excuse.

"Key right, Ra." I said trying to erase Rayi's worries.

"Yo wis's. So now it's here to take care of things about the transfer of power and others" Rayi said after being convinced of my situation.

"Then the proclamation of Ra?" I asked while holding back my laughter.

It turns out that Arka business engaged in culinary and tourism rides are not small and Rinto complains a bit overwhelmed if you have to handle everything. I can only breathe a long sigh, but last night Mr. Surya also complained because of the family company he could not handle, not to mention for my boutique and convection business which also already has several branches in various major cities. Do I have to start over in the business world? I am very comfortable with the title of housewife and it feels very hard to leave Aahva and Bening who have been accustomed to my existence. Moreover, I also do not really control the world of culinary and tourism business. I have to study again and this makes my head feel so full. And I have to head it all. Just imagining my brain feels like it's about to explode.

"I was not released so cas, still I accompanied, too" said Rinto trying to convince me.

"Well, why don't you take care of everything?" I was half desperate.

"I'm just a Kas employee, now you are the owner" replied Rinto emphasized

"Yes help me like Rayi runs the same boutique my convex," I said

"Isone iso, but what is Pak Surya's company? I don't know at all" Rinto said, giving up

"Yes, I will talk to him later" I replied again.

It felt like constantly pulling and exhaling long breaths and ruffling my hair. Why not just step I already feel exhausted, not to mention home affairs, my own business, Arka business plus the Arka family business. As nice as it was the mouth of the people said that my life was very easy, the widow who was left with abundant treasure. They do not know how complicated all this is, if I am not good at managing, it could be all the treasures were wasted.

My phone rang and it was a call from Mr. Surya. Surely he wants to discuss the cooperation that was mentioned yesterday at dinner. But for Aahva and Bening's sake, I should be able to step up and run this whole thing.

"Sir, tomorrow morning at ten o'clock you go to papa's office yes, so you can start learning," just said that and I quickly agreed.