You are the Only One
56. Please, I'm kind of

Owen

I listened to all of Olavia's sentences with a sense of uncertainty. All the flavors that humans could feel were chime within this chest. So many, I don't know which one is the most dominant. I think every feeling has the same percentage. That's also if it really exists in the real world, not just a fairy tale booze before going to bed.

"Thank you, Owen. By leaving me, you're making my life and my son's life a lot better."

That last sentence spoken by a woman turned out to be very different from the person who adored me first. Now, after my heart and brain are not only flushed, but also beaten up by reality for the sake of the reality that was presented just now, and so completely clear, so clear, my eyes are completely open to what is going on, I can see that Olavia who is now someone who is more than all aspects. Or, borrowing the woman's sentence again, was it just me who hadn't seen it before?

It seems like it is. I was so blinded by myself that I couldn't notice the presence of others around me.

In silence, the last sentence kept spinning inside my head. I don't like what the thanks given by Olavia did to me. I really don't want to accept the fact that without me, my real father, my son would have grown up to be a better person.

Is there such a thing? Is it true what Oleander's mother said? What kind of father am I to the point that my son's life is better without me? What kind of father am I whose absence turned out to have no impact? What kind of father am I whose existence even makes the situation worse? Am I that toxic to the people around me? Have I gone so far that there is no truth I can do?

For the love of the fxcking God, what should I do now? Can all this chaos and haphazardness be solved? I am not only talking about what is now scattered in my and Olavia's situation, but also what is happening inside me.

Can I be repaired again? Or is this my true form, my dose and portion that fit so that nothing else can be done to change it? Was I created by God just to be a spectacle of entertainment and learning for others, but not for myself?

Do I want to continue being like this? Don't I want to have something that Olavia had with her fiance, that Fucking Angga Bx, and Oleander. Can't I build a relationship with my own son other than the daeah and DNA we share?

Oleanders. After knowing Oleander's whereabouts, will I be able to pass by and move on without thinking about him in the slightest? Will I be able to step up and not look back? Is it after knowing there is a mini version of me in this world, at least in terms of face shape, that I can just walk away and not think it exists?

Can I abandon my own flesh and blood as the people who brought me into this world have done? Am I going to behave like that bxjokan-bxjangan? Am I going to prove that in the end I'm just going to be the same bxjaknya with parents that I've been ruining? Will I be able to make my child feel what I feel first? Although there are already people who have replaced my existence and function as a parent, will I be able to live quietly?

No. gabe. I don't want to let that happen. I'm not gonna make Oleander think that I abandoned him. I don't want Oleander to think that I'm a bxjangan. Although I am a bxjingan, but bxjangan who maaih try to care for the flesh blood that comes from him and he brought to this world.

No. gabe. I have to do something.

"Gue .. I want to be in Oleander's life" I said, looking down. Shame trumps other emotions and comes to the surface. After what I did, what the label (whoever it is) did to Olavia and my son, the, with a thick face I still want to be in the life of that innocent boy.

"You mean?" Olavia was astonished. "Owen. What did you just say?"

I gather the courage that is left in me who has actually been disinclined to lift my head so that I can look at him. I hope that when Olavia sees the earnestness of my heart that hopefully radiates from there, she will melt. Or, at least start reconsidering my request. "Gue wants to be in Oleander's life."

Olavia's gaze was still as astonished.

There's no other way. I really have to reveal all the depravity of the ghe to this woman. To get a little access in my son's life. "Gue apologized for what I said. I admit I didn't think too far. I don't know, I don't think at all." I'm cleared my throat. This is the hardest part of admitting it. However, there is no other way. "I was originally thinking of taking advantage of this situation for my benefit. I can use Elo and Oleander as a support tool in my image change. Yes ... I will use you to appear as new people in the public eye."

"What?" Olavia.

Before he says more, or chooses to get out of this meeting, I continue my explanation. "Lo knows, I need that. My image has been too damaged in the eyes of people due to the scandal that was recently revealed. No one is to blame but myself. I admit it. And ... you guys are coming. Angga came to see me, revealing Oleander's whereabouts. It made me think that I should be able to use this moment as best I could for personal gain. So, therefore I with no brain invite you to form a family. However, what I heard from you afterwards actually slapped me. Shxt, Olavia, you managed to hit my stupid brain to the flame and function again. Your last words, thank you for leaving me, so I and my son can live a better, very, very, very piercing life. What kind of person have I been all this time? Plus, you know that I was a victim of neglect from my parents. I can't do the same to my own son, Olavia. I refuse to be the same jerk as my parents. Therefore, I beg you, if necessary I will prostrate at your feet. Please tell me how I can be in Oleander's life. Love me a corner in her life as a place for me to prove myself. You don't have to introduce me as his father, I know there is a place that fills, and I realize I still don't deserve to hold a title that big. Either I'll be able to steady myself for it or I won't. I want to be a part of my son's life. You can introduce me as a friend lo, or friend Angga, anyone. I don't care. As long as I can exist and have a relationship, no matter how small, with him. Please, Olavia. Please."

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