This Love Kills Me Slowly
this love is slowly killing me
chapter 7 is saturated
I haven't lived in Jakarta for 3 months
the meaning of marriage has almost entered the 2nd year, my feelings do not grow to the diah, my relationship is increasingly bland, only the diah that has not changed, the, she kept warm and sometimes forced me to play in bed, I knew she wanted my child, from her parents who began to question when she was pregnant so much from my parents
her parents were worried about her, for reasons I didn't understand and from my parents who were worried about me
by the time I was in my boarding house, I realized something had changed from me, my little brother, my weapons of war were not as usual in the morning not waking up at all.
" maybe this morning alone, tomorrow I will definitely be clear "that's in my mind
the next morning I was more convinced that my weapon was not raised.
whereas almost 1 month I did not use it, should his bullets in a state of alert and my weapons, ready to use at any time
I tried to stroke and caress it so that my weapon rose but until I was tired the weapon did not rise at all
I was worried about me, until I met Diah
I'm back on my strong medicine, though,
my weapon reacted ready for war, he was full of lust and fighting spirit, trying to reach the point where he hoped, when that point he reached all his deserted
unlike me, between the mind and heart that is not fused makes me not feel pleasure when related
all I did was go back to the beginning
one day while I was at my own boarding house, aak andi contacted me,
" yes aak. what's "ask me answer the phone
"dedek where "ask aak andi
" dedek is still a work place aak" I replied lying
" hmmmm" said aak andi sounding hard on my phone" dedek how many weeks have not come home " asked aak andi
I kept quiet did not answer I know she always uses aak andi every time she has a problem with me, , when she no longer knows what to do.
when she visited my koastan I busied myself with my work late into the night
" dedek, kasian diah. "when aak andi want to continue immediately I cut his words.
" it's akk ntr, dedek go home kok "my word with a tone of surrender
my heart and mind drifted somewhere hoping I had an accident today and it ended all.
on the jagorawi highway I hope to be able to spur my vehicle at maximum speed, however!!!
" ahhhhhhh this bogor on weekends everyone in Jakarta seems to fill all the acreage that is here "
my vehicle is no more than 40 km/h it's at what point it's below
I met Diah at the botanical mall, happened to be shopping there
when I saw him smiling widely, I immediately pushed the trolley near him
" whatever shopping" when I saw the trolley still had no contents
" aak monthly shopping, this is also for mama" replied Diah
I used to accompany him around while he was shopping this habit I have practiced since accompanied my mother shopping, and finally inj also became my hobby when again
sometimes it is just a trip without buying
"sister." I looked back when someone called
" eehhh aak." a man behind me immediately he shook my hand
as a fellow man I am not comfortable enough with his gaze but I do not know what it is, for me his gaze does not like me but what he does not like about me, meeting her is new at this time, but said she was present at our wedding reception
",aahhh I don't remember her "I thought
the man was named arif, cousin of his 1-year-old diah under diah, it was Wisif who had been dropping off and picking up diah, about his exact work I do not know and whether the wisdom is married I do not know, either, if she married, she would have taken me to her wedding, but I don't know if that's the place far away
arif gave up something on Diah. After his permission to say goodbye to us
after traveling accompanied the shopping.we immediately visited my parents and stayed there
this marriage is just a shackle that imprisons me,
this marriage bothered me but I couldn't do much that I could do just pretend to be happy
that morning, I woke up early and I didn't take Diah
after dawn has passed
I've been out of the house, early on Sunday I quite know how the condition of the road both tolls in the city to the place where I work must have been jammed badly
sometimes I envy some of my work teams who are mutated out of town far from family not also struggling with congestion
sometimes I hope when I'm in a mutation, yes mutation anywhere for me does not matter
in the middle to play my favorite song
my mind penetrated my past
at that time Fahmi did not answer my fault what was in away and continued her bike
the two of us were just kidding around, without ever discussing the matter
which sometimes makes me think I'm wrong why he never told me what's wrong.
and his attitude towards me while meeting remained warm
" you leave at what time "ask him on me.
"yes ordinary "my word
fahmi just smiled by looking at me.
" why!!! you want to nganter "ask me
" if you can"
" yes, yes" I replied "lo take a day off !!! "
" no!!!" answer her
"hurried!!"
"cave kangen someone "fahmi replied
my heart beats I want to ask, but I have the answer
I wonder who that person is but there is no courage for me to ask
" woiii" fahmi's hand waved before my eyes
"hmmmm" I smiled as if I had not heard what she said earlier
"lo why "ask me when he lays his body on the sidewalk
" why not why "
I who sat near her only heard her
"butii!! after meeting her it turns out she was bego kayak first" said fahmi upset
who is he, I don't understand, who is he I want to know
I go home, I prepare myself to perform at my best in front of the Fahmi.
though we promised at 8 but 7 o'clock past I was ready
I don't know if I was excited this morning
I briefly lyric my watch, 5 minutes feels so long
ahhh what happened to me, I was sitting on the porch of my house, relaxing,
a red car stopped in front of my house, I saw it at 7:20
is she just like me, can't wait to meet
fahmi came down with a pretty neat shirt
when he saw me, he,
" you are ready!!! gua thought a shower hasn't been lo!!!"fahmi
" yachh is not good enough to wait "my word
" yes, if you are ready to unplug" said Fahmi
" where do you go "ask me wonder
" you want to go to college "
" yachh hrs this way to the side" I said protest
" yach has gone where "fahmi gave up
" just unplug it if so" I said
" where to "
" yes to college "
" lo freak! just said to the section "
" yach hanging out on campus doesn't matter" I said
to slow down time I deliberately invite the fahmi to go through the ordinary road
" why "ask fahmi when we're in the car
"why not!! it's stuck "my word
when my eyes were caught wet looking at his face
"you asked through here" said Fahmi
" it's through the toll even parts" I said
silence for a moment at the end I dare again to ask for his no
" how many no lo" I said while holding my hp
" why do you want to know "ask her with her eyes fixed to the road
" you cannot "ask me
" no!! " answer her
"why can't you "ask
" because you are insensitive and because you are stupid "his answer offended me
" lo mean!!" ki's voice was waiting a little
" why do you get angry "ask her while looking at me
I wanted to get out of the car immediately and it just happened that the car was stopped because of traffic jams
but my hand was firmly in his grip
" where do you go "ask her with a smile
" just let go!! the cave's going down here "my word
"khaaahhhh huh nih no cave "his word
" don't "do my word
by keeping looking at me, fahmi was silent, her gaze was very sharp, her hands were clutching my hands firmly, I felt intimidated at that moment
" yes, how many "says I gave up
we were both silent for quite a while yet eyes glanced towards her
I don't know what she thinks, though,
" mama's story about lo" said fahmi
" what story "ask me
" yachh about lo maksa mama asked no cave" said fahmi
" oooo is "my word "most also you change no again right "next word
" hmmmm maybe "his word
" that's how you dodge the cave " said I want to scream
" wrong cave what "ask me
I waited, but Fahmi kept quiet
" then why do you find the cave until willing nganter cave "ask me
" gua thought you'd changed "His reply
" turned !!!"
" he!!" fahmi said "lo mending honest with yourself what you want to do with the cave "his word while
looked at me
" what the fuck you mean !!" ask me
" khaaahhhh tired of the cave look lo" he said
I don't understand what Fahmi means
but now I understand without her I'm lonely, a lot I want to do with her, joking with her. Maybe even tell her about what's going on with my current situation, I said I was not happy with my marriage