The Substitute Woman on the First Night
Judges' Verdict

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3 Months later I finally went to the second trial after the first trial a few weeks ago I felt so cornered by the public prosecutor. In the trial I was accompanied by a lawyer, even though it was not from Fadhly because I had rejected his offer. The decision I felt was right for me to take because I didn't want to go back to her. I really want to live by opening a new page without anyone coming from my past. To be more precise, I was traumatized and afraid that the past would only carry the same wounds as before. Especially Fadhly, it is difficult to believe in a man who once betrayed his wife and did not rule out the possibility if he would do the same when married to me later. That was one of the reasons why I turned down his offer. An offer that would only make me indebted to him.

"Oh my God, this verdict really makes me nervous" my mind kept stepping into the courtroom escorted by several police officers.

Not only nervous, I also felt afraid because the punishment for the crime I did was quite long. I was charged under Section 347 of KHUP with a maximum prison term of 12 years. Of course I don't want to be in jail that long. At least that's my hope, even though I know the possibility is very small because I'm alone. No one defended me. Even the testimonies from Almira, the cafe waiter, and the pharmacist I bought the gynecologist drugs were very burdensome to me.

"I never imagined I'd be standing here as a suspect and hear a verdict from the court in a moment," my mind can only see Almira who is currently looking at me with her sharp eyes. There was a faint smile that suddenly flashed from next to the corner of his lips. A smile that was so devious and maybe he felt victorious because it managed to make me languish in prison.

With the rhythm of the heart beating unbecause I began to wait for the judge to read the verdict. I try to strengthen my heart. Accept whatever verdict I will listen to in a moment. It is possible that this verdict will be very burdensome to me or it could be the other way around.

"Oh my God, please give me a chance to be a better man in the future. Please don't give me a heavy sentence. I beg ...." In my heart I pray. Hoping while crying out profusely without showing any sadness on my face. Yeah, I don't want to show my weakness to Almira. I want her to know that I am a strong woman and will not fall just because of this problem, even though I actually feel the opposite.

"5 years ...." I can only give up. 5 years is certainly not a short time. I have to be strong, I have to get used to it, and maybe this is the only way that I can atone for my past sins. The punishment I must carry. There is no reason for me to reject it, I do deserve it.

Seeing that I was just bowed in lethargy, the police officer woke me up to stand up, then began to tap my body to step back into the prisoner's car. I also looked back. Seeing Almira looking at me with a gaze I didn't know the meaning of. However, I haven't seen Mas Denis and my mother since. It seems like the two did not come to this verdict hearing for some reason.

"Congratulations, Mira. Congratulations because you've managed to make me like this, but I'll never hold any grudges against you. I will consider all of this to be the right thing for me to accept for taking away the life of the innocent fetus that you were carrying at that time. And then when I'm free, I'll never see you or Mas Denis again. I'm really gonna disappear until you're gonna forget you ever knew me." I can only say everything in my heart as I step out of the courtroom. Looking ahead without looking back to see Almira again. However, when my steps arrived in front of the courtroom, I saw Delano looking at me with a look of pity. He seemed to be very sympathetic to my fate. However, he did not have time to tell me that because the police officer immediately ordered me to get into the detention car.

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