Rania
45. Contrition

So deep regret has not been anything with the suffering that has been felt by Retno. It may not be enough with just a word of regret.

''I was so angry to receive the photo. In a mess I decided to go home that night. I want to make sure of the news myself. But in the middle of the brake trip I blong and there was an accident. The accident left my leg paralyzed. Because of such conditions I was desperate and made my anger the same you guys peaked. Especially before I went to medical treatment abroad I got word that Retno's body was found burned. My heart was broken at that time. But my emotions overcame sympathy. Until I spoke like that. Then my dad took me out of the country. So that I can recover from paralysis. About my wife now. He was betrothed to me by papa. Because Retno is dead and there is no hope of us coming back. I accept it.'' Gunawan explained while shedding tears.

'' If from the beginning I knew Retno was not dead. I will definitely look for it everywhere Gunawan said again.

'' You know sir. I don't know what about farming. Got to hang in here. With several failures. We even had to eat once a day because there was no money left. When the fire Retno and Susi did not bring anything. Just clothes on the body. Luckily, I had savings at the time. But because for over a year not working my savings began to run out. Retno who experienced inner pressure after she gave birth also I can not treat. Even emotions are often uncontrollable. Once upon a time he didn't realize he almost killed Rania. It was fortunate that Susi saw him and ran Rania out of the house. For a year living here I always failed in farming and farming. To survive Retno and Susi peddle cake around the village. But often times it doesn't work. When Rania is very sick. We can't take him for treatment because there's no money. Even Rania had convulsions. That night we thought that Rania would leave us. But God seems to want something else. Rania survived death. When Rania was five years old she was thrown by her friends into the river just because she had no father. He was labeled as an illegitimate child. Fortunately, I came in time to help him. Since then Rania has been traumatized by the river. Until now he could not swim. Surviving death many times made him strong. Sometimes when his fear comes Retno will vent the same Rania. She would accept all her mother's will without crying. The wounds on the body could be held back but the wounds on the heart he was hiding. The abuse and the insults he received for not having a father are countless. Not to mention Retno requires her to look like now starting from SMA. The time when other teenage girls preen she does not get. Because Retno is afraid that one day you will come to take Rania. Rania shunned, ridiculed and even humiliated. But he still patiently accepted it as long as his parents were happy. He would be angry if his mother insulted people. He grew into a figure that protected the person he loved. He will not see his sorrow in front of us. She'll cry in a place we don't know. Rania will work anything to meet her needs without having to burden us. Starting from selling, working in a workshop and even becoming an online taxi driver. Work has been done since from SD to college. Do you know how I feel as an uncle. When I saw my niece finish off her youth like that? Had to fight alone, had to sacrifice his personal life'' Rendra's story sad his eyes glazed.

''I feel like a failed person when I see two women I love suffering, '' Rendra said.

''Trus why don't you try contacting me again?''ask Gunawan.

''Retno did not want to. His heart was already broken with the mistrust of the much loved one making him turn cold. He swore he would carry this secret until he died. Let alone you, Rania whose own child does not know, said Rendra.

Gunawan was stunned to hear Rendra's words. So much suffering that he gave to Retno and Rania.

''Now where is Retno?'' ask Gunawan.

''There's nothing for you to look for anymore'' said Rendra coldly. If you remember all the suffering of his sister all this time he wanted to vent to Gunawan. It's not enough to kill Gunawan and then live again. Rendra wants it to be like destroying Gunawan and the person who slandered them all the way to the bones.

Rania was impatiently waiting outside. His emotions were about to explode wanting to go inside. But Susi tried to hold him back. Radit and Davin are shocked to hear the truth about Rania. They didn't expect to hear all this. And see Gunawan like that.

''I told you I can't sir' replied Rendra coldly.

''Why ''Why?'' shouted Gunawan

''Color she died two days ago' teria Rendra was angry. Her tears could no longer be held in mind that her sister was no longer there.

''No. ''No... No way, you must be lying Ren'' Gunawan shouted to the floor. Her tears came out hearing Rendra's words. Pupus is hoping to meet Retno. Even though he had been very angry but he also missed Retno.

''During this time Retno suffered from head disease and acute ulcers due to excessive stress. For years he endured it. Until when Rania told me that she met you. Her illness is getting worse due to the fear of losing her child. He is more afraid that you will take Rania from him because it is so in his hatred of you. Until he died he took his suffering without telling his own son. Finally the oath he said was indeed brought to death said Rendra.

''No Retno, why do you punish me like this'' lamented Gunawan. Lama Gunawan bowed limp. The whole feeling of regret and guilt mixed into one.

''Trus where my son'' Gunawan started looking for Rania. Her red eyes searched for Rania.

Rendra only speaks a thousand languages. Gunawan tried to shake Rendra's body. He kept asking Rania. There was no response from Rendra. He still remained silent seeing Gunawan's despair. He wanted to see Retno's despair at Gunawan. Rendra knew that not everything that happened was Gunawan's fault. One of the reasons is Gunawan. If Retno lives, she will continue to do so with Gunawan. With a look full of anger Rendra looked towards Gunawan.

''I beg Rendra, meet with my daughter'' Gunawan said again with compassion.

''Your daughter is dead along with her mother''...