My Love Journey's
Back into you

I went back to the front yard and sat down next to Paul. Panda and Sean were sitting on our right, Mia and Jason on the left and the others were spreading around the terrace and inside the house. The kids and the parents went into the room. Dean turned on the music through the loudspeakers, swinging in the silence of the cold night. Used embers roasting meat are worth appreciating for helping to warm up tonight. What a perfect moment.

"Everything right?" ask Paul.

I looked at her beautiful dark eyes, then nodded. "Yeah" I said, hugging his arm and leaning my body against him. He linked our fingers. "So you didn't tell me you were buying a house?"

He chuckles. "sorry. I don't think I'm going to get it this fast." replied Paul.

I smile. "In which area?"

"Not far from your house." He looked ahead. "In fact, very close."

"You have to show it to me."

Paul turned his head to look at me. "of course. It'll be your home too."

I propped my chin up on his shoulder while looking up. "I love you, Paul."

His expression softened when he heard my words and he raised one hand to rub my cheek. "You have no idea how peaceful my heart is to hear that phrase, Rapunzel."

I smile. "What did I do until you came back to me, hm?" The tip of my finger moved along his muscular arm. "I will never stop loving you."

He took my hand and kissed her. "Trust me, love, I feel the same way."

I took a happy breath. "Kiss me, please..." I whispered. He grinned, then lowered his head. I felt my heart overflow when our lips met again. I didn't even realize how empty my life was without Paul until now, when he kissed me again. It was just a short kiss, no passionate desire because we were not alone here. We exchanged timid smiles when withdrawing.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and looked around. Now, it's really a perfect night.

"Hey!!!" I exclaimed. "We haven't sung Happy Birthday yet!" I sat up while standing up and pulled Paul.

Panda grimaced beside Sean. "That's not..." He stopped because we were singing.

While making a sound, my gaze continued to focus on Paul as if we were only here. I can imagine her singing a song for our son later. My God, he's gonna be an amazing dad. My throat choked as memories of child loss flashed through my mind, and I felt an even stronger urge to try again even though the trauma I had experienced had not completely escaped.

"Thank you" Panda said when we finished. She looked at her husband with a smile full of pride and gratitude. "Thank you, Husband."

Sean smiled and hugged and kissed Panda. "Anytime, baby." Sean looked at his wife as lovingly as he had always done. It's been like that since I first saw them.

Often I feel jealous of their marriage that looks very peaceful and loving, but I know every relationship must have its own problems. So too with them. Nothing is easy in a relationship, but you will survive if you have a partner who understands and supports you fully, and vice versa.

It takes two people to have a healthy relationship. And, to make the perfect relationship.

"Party time, peeps!" Dean exclaimed from the door of the house, smiling cunningly as he walked carrying two bottles of vodka in his hands.

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Nothing else? I won't drink it" I said in a quieter voice.

Dean grunts. "Omong empty! All must taste, at least one gulp." She looked at Mia with a more serious look. "Other than you, of course. No alcohol for you until next year." That's understandable because Mia just gave birth to Karen two months ago.

I puckered my nose in response to Dean's words while Paul spoke. "Why?" ask Paul. "Has your drunken habit changed so much that I was afraid I'd see you?"

I cringe. "Ugh, no. I just want to remember every moment we've been through tonight."

He smiled flirtatiously. "You're planning something special?" His eyes glittered with passion. God, I should've known it was gonna be a long night.

I lowered the sleeves of the sweater I was wearing earlier because the air was getting colder. Luckily the weather tonight was quite sunny, so we were able to relax outside while enjoying the wind and seeing stars scattered in the sky.

Paul stuck out his hand and hugged my shoulder. "Wanna get in?" tanyanya gently.

I shook my head, grabbed a glass and sipped my wine. "I'm not sleepy yet."

"Okay."

***

"Who's Dean?" Paul asked when we were in the room. It seemed like he had been waiting for the right moment to ask that since just now.

I spoke while taking out a pair of pajamas from inside the backpack and walking to the bathroom. "He's Sean's cousin. Why?" I asked from behind the bathroom door.

Paul exhaled a rather heavy breath. "Did he like you? I see his movements imply so." he murmured.

I smile. One of the things I miss most about Paul is when he's jealous. "What if he likes me?" I purposely teased her, still smiling as I returned to the room.

He looked at me doubtfully. "Well, then I don't like it." she said casually, but it still sounded serious.

Oh, I like this. "I'm a free woman. It doesn't belong to anyone, so it's legitimate if anyone likes me. After all, I can't forbid someone from liking me, Paul." I said, throwing clothes into a basket in the corner of the room.

I observed her expression suddenly turning unhappy. His jaw hardened while his feet tapped on the floor agitatedly. "Do you like it too?"

I cringe. Is this thing stupid or crazy? "You wouldn't be in this room if I liked it, Mister!" I answered, then smiled.

Slowly his face looked bright. The tip of his lips lifted into a grin. He grabbed my hips with both of his big hands. "That's all I want to hear." He whispered, which is actually unnecessary because there are only the two of us in this room.

I looked at him with a feeling of awe, calm, and longing at once, until without me knowing my tears welled up. "Sorry," I said, inserting a face into his chest to hold the sobbing. He shouldn't have seen this.

I wish I could be stronger, but Paul is my weakness and that won't change. The best way for someone to hurt me is to hurt Paul. I'll never lose her again. I've experienced it, I know how it feels, and it hurts a lot.

Pau Klug, no matter how bad he is, no matter how much he hurts me, intentionally or unintentionally, he is still the only man who lives in my heart. She was still my man, and she gave me a life I never felt before I met her. He made me stronger, and most importantly, he was always able to restore my senses.

Right now I realize that I won't be able to feel this strong bond in others because Paul tied me up too tight until it felt stifling, but in a good sense. I will never stop loving her even if we are no longer together. He'll always have me, even if he doesn't want me at all. And, yes, this is my weakness, but this is also the best way I can express my feelings for her because she deserves it.

And this is real love. In the wildest way. We had a journey full of twists. We were once at the lowest point of life, and also sitting on the highest peak, and to this day we still feel the same despite having been separated for three years. Nothing has changed except time. Here's love. We supported each other, fought when needed and cheered when we won.

And, this is love. Who survived when one of them was falling. Try your hardest when something bad happens. Passing the storm together.

"Why are you crying?" Paul asked above my head, and I felt the movement of his lips there.

"Because I love you so much." I sobbed.

"You cry because you love me so much? Love's..." I could see the smile in his voice.

I sobbed again. "I'm happy, Paul. I am so happy to be back with you. I'm happy because, somehow, God gave you back to me. I'm happy to feel this again. Feeling you. Feel us."

He smiled cheerfully when I finally looked up. "I'm just as happy, love. Thank you for forgiving me and accepting me again. I'll never forgive myself if you turn around." He cupped my face. "I love you, Bianka. Always love you, dear."

I smiled in the sobs. "I love you too, Klug."