My Love Journey's
Mabe.

In order to maintain the little sanity left in my head, I spent the whole day playing with Kevin, Ben, and Lily at my brother's house. It's the third time I've brought Kevin into their house, and he looks so happy.

Although his endurance is limited, Kevin can still adjust. And, I kept trying to make sure she wasn't exhausted.

While Kevin and I were waiting for his mother to pick him up at Panda's house, Ben and Lily were fast asleep. I accompanied him to sit on the sofa. "Hey, why is your face so serious?" ask me with a light tone.

He raised his gaze at me, and I smiled while he looked down again. "I hate it like this. Why do you have to go to work? Why doesn't she stay home and play with me like any other mother?" His eyes looked a bit wet.

I took a breath, and felt his sadness. "Mommy has to do that because she loves you, baby. He wants your life to be happy when you grow up." I said, knowing that his mother worked desperately as a single parent for Kevin. "I'm sure he's also eager to keep you playing."

Kevin squeezed the straps of his backpack. "I knew. Still, it's not fair." He pretended to be upset.

I tried to brighten the mood by ruffling her hair while laughing. "Come on, it can't be that bad, right?"

I glanced at the watch and realized there was still plenty of time before Paul came to my house. Today he just came back from out of town and promised to see me at nine o'clock tonight. An hour from now.

While waiting, we talked about a few things Kevin liked, and ended up debating who the coolest superhero was. After twenty minutes, his mother finally arrived.

As we stepped to the front door, Kevin turned his body. I'm relieved to see her face a little brighter now.

"Can't you come with me to school?" ask her with a hopeful expression.

I laugh. "I'm sorry, Kevin, but it's impossible. You know I'm too old to go to school there."

Disappointment flashed across his face, and he frowned. "I want my friends to believe that I have a beautiful boyfriend. They said they wanted to see you in person."

That sentence almost made me explode in laughter. God, why is this kid so adorable?

I opened the door and saw Kevin's mother walking out of the elevator, approaching us, while Kevin ran straight into his mother's arms. "Mommy!"

"My boy!" They hugged each other tightly, then her mother kissed Kevin on the cheek. "I'm sorry to make you wait so long" Sadness gushed from his mother's face, but Kevin seemed ordinary.

"I'm happy to play with Ben and Lily." Kevin grinned. "Ben took me swimming and playing ball."

His mother responded with a big smile before looking at me. "I'm sorry he's troubling you."

I'm shaking. "Not at all. I'm glad I could help. Anyway, looks like Kevin can't wait for my next day off, doesn't he, Kevin?"

Kevin grinned again, wider than before, then nodded excitedly.

"Thank you, Bianka."

"Together."

I went back into the house to get my bag and car keys, and said goodbye to Panda and drove straight to my house.

"Hey, love!"

I jumped, my heart almost jumped from the chest cavity in shock. "Oh, God, Paul!" With one hand I closed the door while the other hand touched the chest.

I didn't find anything funny, but as soon as Paul was so comforted by my shock that he laughed out loud, my lips smiled. "You almost killed me."

She held onto her stomach, rubbing a tear in the corner of her eye before hugging me. "Sorry, but you're so funny." His laughter exploded again.

Paul kissed me back. "I'm willing to suffer as long as I'm with you" she replied. "How's my boyfriend doing today?"

We were still hugging at the door. "It's good to see her heart now."

"really?"

I'm nodding. "Hm."

I caught something else in Paul's face as we stepped onto the sofa, as if there was something he wanted to say, but something else held him back. "Paul?" call me gently. He looked up, looking nervous. "What's wrong?"

Paul took a breath, rubbing his face violently before looking at me. "I, uhm. I met your father before I came."

"You... What's?"

"I met your father and we chatted. Oh, no, I was the one who spoke before he kicked me out of there."

"Oh my God!" I shook my head hard. "You know you shouldn't have done that."

He groaned while standing, looking desperate. "I need to do something, Bianka. I know he's your father, but I can't understand why he should be so angry that he won't see you as his son again."

I tried to swallow the annoyance that he decided to come to my own father. What made him think that my father would soften so easily? Sure, he knows my father, but not as well as I know him.

With clenched hands, I asked. "Then, what do you get, hm?"

"Love..."

"Paul!" I shook my head again. "Can you be patient? Please, don't make things worse with..."

"Cracking atmosphere? Jesus, Bianka! Is that how you judge my efforts to fix this mess?" I don't know who started, but we're both in a position to explode. I don't like this, but a part of me also wants Paul to understand that it takes a lot of patience to face my father.

I remained silent, while Paul continued to speak. "I really don't think it out. I tried to look at it from all sides, recalling my mistakes, but I think your father's reaction was too excessive. I meant it when I apologized to you, Bianka. In fact, I accepted a job that actually did nothing for me. The money I get here is nothing compared to my business in Germany. But I did it for you. I want to be near you. Why can't your father judge my sincerity from there?" His breathing was wheezing while his face began to turn red.

"Paul's..."

"No. Shut up and listen! Call me stupid, stupid, blind, or whatever you want, I don't care. You know why? Because the most important thing for me is to keep you by my side. Because I love you so much, Bianka. I made you a priority in my life. Why can't anyone understand me? Why..."

Guilt is mounting in my heart. I didn't mean to put pressure on Paul at all, but why is it like this at last. This is not what I expected. I let out a breath. "I'm not trying to justify my father's attitude. Everything that happened later made me realize that I couldn't seem to choose my way of life, not because of my father, but because I couldn't afford to lose my parents. But, I still remember clearly saying that I chose you, and you still doubt me? I love you, Paul."

Paul glanced at me, looking desperate. "Tell me, is love enough?"

"No, but..."

"Well, there it is! Love is NOT enough. I think the answer is obvious, we need time to calm down."

"What do you mean?"

"I want the best for you. But right now, I'm not sure continuing our relationship is the best. If we were meant to be together, I would be so happy. If not, there is nothing I can do to change it. Maybe, we need to split up for a while."

I gulped, feeling defeated. I knew that I would regret the words I said next, but for now I let the selfish side in me speak.

"Maybe."