Broken Mind Eric's Diary
December 25th

...

One more month has passed...

I'm still down without you.

A faint smile may begin to appear on my face, but in solitude it draws me back into a world of silence.

Last week, my semester exams were over. I decided to take a vacation at your house, even if I was alone, at least sleeping in your room could cure my longing.

The warm blanket, and the smell of your hair stuck to the pillow, turned out to make me sleep well.

But I can't keep hugging my pillow all day, just because the smell makes me feel good. I had to go out even for a few minutes without a pillow.

"Save the pillow, then water the plants in front of the house!"

Brother Jihye also can't stand it, watching me continue to struggle to hold your pillow.

I finally followed and poured plants for him.

"Gear!"

That voice that called my name, broke all my daydreams about you.

It was Haknyeon the troublemaker, he knew I was here and came to me on purpose.

"What?" My heart was still without letting go of my gaze, from the beautiful aglonema suksom plant.

Haknyeon took me to night clubs, at first I refused but ended up going too.

It turned out to be true, liquor could distract my mind especially when drunk it felt as if it was taken flying up to the seventh sky. Very delightful.

That night I came home in the early hours, brother Jihye was sleepy waiting for me at the door.

Between conscious and not, I sat on her knees and apologized for making her wait.

It was still hot, and then Jihye's brother dragged me into the room and grabbed my ear until it turned red. I also heard him raving about me, but the next morning I couldn't remember what he said.

This afternoon Hyunjae came, as if he was in a hurry and looking for something.

"What are you looking for, and where are you going?"

I asked, with half-open eyes. My head is heavy and heavy too.

"You were drunk all night?", he sniffed my breath which still left a distinctive whiskey scent.

"I told you, stop drinking!", Hyunjae raved as he continued to look for something.

"I have no other way, I have to take my mind off Hoonie." My whine to Hyunjae.

His busy hand suddenly stopped, then he turned to look at me.

Hyunjae looks worried, because this isn't the first time I've been drunk since you left him.

Then he decided to go somewhere. I whined at him again, and wanted to go with him.

Hyunjae had rejected me because of my condition that was not fit, but he finally relented when I pretended to cry.

We headed to the football field, the green grass and the spacious stadium reminiscent of my childhood in LA. Hometown.

For the umpteenth time, I whined again at Hyunjae and forced him to let me play football on the field.

He warned me many times, and I finally got the stone. When the opponent tried to take the ball from me, my balance was disturbed and then fell down with one leg as a restraint.

My leg bones sprained, and I groaned in pain. Hyunjae could only scold me, without knowing how much he was in pain when I tried to set foot on the ground.

He took me to an alternative medicine place, to justify the upward shifting position of my leg bones. I was sick, as the fingers massaged my bones into their original positions.

Hyunjae was unable to accompany me there, he also had to leave because the boss at his part-time job suddenly called.

Not yet there, my suffering still continued when I returned home. Sister Jihye again greeted me with her scathing scolding.

But in the end he laughed when he saw me trying to walk. Like a kangaroo he said.

Finally my room moved to the first floor, unable to climb the stairs to your room again on the second floor.

Sister Jihye brought me your pillows and blankets, so I could sleep soundly in this tennis court-sized room of Brother Bomin.

Even though my legs are throbbing in pain, as long as there's your pillow I can sleep well tonight.

.

.

...----------------...