Your Heart&My Heart
Will not touch you

"You look more handsome than before. My radar can't be lied to." ~ Arunika Baskoro

The wedding party was closed with a happy smile. The whole family has gone home. Remaining me and Mas Adikara who did stay one night at the hotel. Fear, nervousness, subverting the unfamiliar self all before.

The sound of water from the bathroom was heard from my position on the lip of the bed, it was a sign that he was bathing. Biting the tip of the nail and stomping both feet on the floor, it becomes a habit if in an emergency situation like this.

Being with a man in the room, what will happen? Imagine wanting to disappear from the face of the earth. Suppose there is a doraemon bag. Huh, stop. This is nature, isn't it?

The sound of the door opening was getting more and more fearful. It's nothing, it's my first time with a stranger. Especially one bed. I think it's horror.

"Bandy."

That voice made a face look up at him. Cold sweat may have inundated the forehead. The strapping body is now wrapped in black plain shirts to form the chest muscles.

The good looks owned by Mas Adikara are also fairly decent. Her skin was as pure white as manicured. The black hair of the undercut model that was half wet, even at a glance made my mind wander.

"Agh, o-ok." This body stands up from the bed. The nervousness levels are starting to be above average now.

What kind of feeling does the feeling and the mind present?

Seeing him standing not far from my position, it was really cool. He was wearing a plain tight shirt and grey rubber casual trousers, making this oesophagus arid. There's something forming in his stomach area and down there. These curse eyes really cannot betray a handsome man.

"What are you looking at?" The sound was very sweet and cold.  Smooth to make my whole body goosebumps.

The eyes that had ended at the bottom, were now looking towards him.

I shook my head in a quick motion and said, "Nothing," I replied trying to have a relaxed expression.

"Then take a shower. It's already night."

He just stepped away from me. Why is my mind here?

Shaking my head and closing my eyes a few times, I hit my head to wake up. "Conscious Arun. You're just getting married."

"Don't hurt yourself on our first night. Go shower. I've prepared warm water for you."

He was half screaming in front of him. Waving her eyes and pecking, did she hear what I said? Damnit. I think he went to the living room of this hotel room.

Instead of complying, these two eyes looked towards the man sitting down. Oh my God, he's so handsome in his own way. Just sitting and leaning against the body of the sofa amazed me with the gripping night view.

"Do you really want to look at me like that?" It's cold for him.

He set his sights. As fast as lightning I turned around and rushed off towards the bathroom.

Behind the bathroom door I touched my chest. Close your eyes and breathe in search of oxygen. The heart is now unstable. Still feeling tense patting my chest slowly so that the air filled the space in the lung cavity.

"You're really crazy, Arun. Why wasn't she as handsome now? It makes me feel good" I said to myself.

Still wearing the wedding dress, I was contemplating myself.

"Can't fall in love first, Run. Remember. You only marry because your mother is not for love. But even if I fall in love with her, I have to make sure there's no other woman behind her."

To convince myself to remember what I said, believe and feel. Finally able to make yourself breathe a sigh of relief.

Slowly swing a step towards the mirror to stare at the reflection of yourself that looks very beautiful in a wedding dress until this moment. Seriously, I feel so grateful to God.

Yes, for this one it feels inevitable fact. The beauty I have is very thumbs up. Don't argue about this to me.

"Agh, why is this stuck?"

Trying to pull the zipper on the dress I was wearing, this short hand was hard to pull down. Stuck in the middle. Fuck and keep trying. Yet futile.

"How can I take a shower like this. Damn it!"

Flashing his eyes many times with a turbulent fear while thinking, the result of his answer remained one. "Do I have to ask her for help?"

"Arghhhh .. This cannot be. She'll see my sexy body dong. It's so good for her."

Quieting myself in fear, I tried to find a way. But I can't find a way, because it can't be pulled without someone else's help.

"Damn! Why, anyway, is the dress so tight? Arghhh .. I'm going crazy!"

Huh, isn't there?

"Well, what am I supposed to do now? Where's he going, dong? Why don't you wait for me to take a shower?" I mumbled as I stepped out in a slightly down dress.

"Do you need anything?"

These eyes were full-fledged in shock with his voice suddenly coming from the opposite direction. Both hands clutching tightly at the end of the dress channeled the nervousness.

"Why just shut up?"

I turned around. "Where are you from?"

As if in thought, the stiff man was now pointing towards his back. "Hemmm .. I'm looking for the wind on the balcony. Do you need anything?" ask him politely.

I would love to cry.

It's hard to be with a stranger like him. Feels like this finger has been pinned to the door. We've only met three times before, and now the fact is that he's my husband. It was so awkward to ask for help.

"Why look at me like that?" He looked at me researching.

Hygiene ....

Hygiene ....

"You crying?"

Despite these circumstances, he looked very polite. And I admit his attitude was very good for our first night.

Spontaneous, the hand rubbed the clear liquid that fell from the eye patch without me noticing.

"I-I'm honestly not used to being with the guy in the room let alone asking for help on personal matters." A quick glance at his eyes then lowered his head, "but since you're my husband, I'm forced to do so. Open my dress zipper. It's very troublesome." Still looking down face concealing a feeling of shame.

I didn't get a response until this moment. Either he refuses or he wants to help.

I raise my face when I don't find the answer.

"Just asking for help why are you so wasteful with words?" Not giving an answer to his words earlier, now he is in front of me just one step forward. "Reverse."

"Huh?"

We looked at each other and waited for her mouth to open.

"I said turn around. How can I pull a zipper out of your dress, if you keep going like this."

"But ... You promised you wouldn't do anything to me?"

His irises looked firm. Not opening my eyes like before.

"Are you angry?" I really don't understand the look of a different face.

"Am I that dirty in your mind?"

I nodded quickly for no reason. I don't know why the words aren't what I imagined before. Her silence made me understand that Adikara— was an illegible man.

Without thinking any longer, I slowly twisted my body and turned my back. Clenching your hands and closing your eyes. Covering my fear like in the beginning.

Feeling the movement of the zipper slowly exposes the skin of the body. Until I felt the dress start falling through the chest. As quickly as I could, this hand pulled both sides of the dress so as not to fall revealing the contents.

"That's enough," I said in a trembling voice. "Thank you." I stepped without daring to look back.

Quickly pull the door leaf to close again. Not to forget to lock from the inside.

This round of tears fell back in the cheeks. All my life I've never been this scared. Behind the door, back to trying to muster up courage.

There was a sound of knocking on the door from outside.

"Listen to me carefully. Don't make yourself feel uncomfortable because of my existence. You'll never touch me without your permission."

This time he did not speak. Previously, he was more silent during our meeting for self-introduction, in our three meetings.