Trapped in the Destiny of Love Presdir
PART~66

Nathan clasped my hand so tightly. His brown eyes with pliable eyelashes, looking at me very closely.

"You mean he's dead? don't joke Nathan..." I asked again, it would be unethical if Nathan had to lie for our relationship to improve.

"I'm not lying baby, Stephanie died on our wedding day" Nathan said, turning his face the other way.

Maybe he wouldn't if I saw his sadness that seemed so obvious.

"Your wedding day?" ask me with an increasingly curious face.

"Yes.he had a very tragic car accident, especially at that time I was the one driving the car.." Say it again in a soft tone.

Now Nathan moved from his seat, then walked away from me who was still fixated on hearing his words.

I realized for a moment that Nathan was no longer there beside me. I also looked left and right, looking for his figure who turned out to be in the balcony.

I approached him and stood right next to him. Nathan stared at the blue sky that was still cloudy because of the former rain.

"We had a terrible accident, and I can't even remember it..." I heard her voice tremble a little, I think she had cried.

"..if it wasn't for me maybe he'd still be alive today, I was too stubborn then I should have obeyed what Mamih said and not forced myself to drive on my wedding day.....hiks...hiks" he continued as he sat down and wept over his face.

I was shocked at that moment, Nathan who looked cruel and arrogant behaved like this. He's like a patient psychiatrist, he's lost control.

His body trembled, cold sweat pouring out profusely all over his body, he continued to cry while covering his face.

I saw him feel sad and devastated. I want to hug her now.

"It's all my fault.I'm an asshole...Nathan you're a jerk" Nathan berated himself.

He started banging his head and sent his balcony fence several times.

As soon as I sat down next to him, I reached for his hand which continued to hit his own head.

I held his head and looked at his face until I saw him. I slowly wiped away her tears that kept flowing.

"I'm a bad guy, I'm Rens' killer!! I killed Stephanie.hikss..."

"Hey.hey already it's not your fault, it's been her destiny like this" I tried to calm her down.

"last time he said he was afraid of the sea because he couldn't swim, but what finally caused our car to crash"

"AAAAA... I killed Stephanie with my ego at the time, I don't deserve to be happy on her death" she returned to mengocosan assortment that I don't understand.

His breathing sounded irregular and also his heartbeat beat rapidly, his face was reddened by crying.

I hugged her tightly and leaned her fist against my chest. Nathan was sobbing more and more in his tears.

"It's a darling.remember it's not your fault ok"

"That's my fault!! I just couldn't save her, she must have been so cold and scared back then.hikks hikks"

"....i can't forgive myself for remembering the incident"

"Nathan...I told you don't get yourself wrong, I'm so sad to see you like this.hiks...hiks"

Finally, the tears that I held back from earlier also dripped down my cheeks.

I'm tightening my grip on Nathan, I don't want him hurting himself for feeling guilty about Stephanie's death.

"I deserve to be unhappy, even I deserve that every night I have to have a nightmare to remember her death..."

Degs....

My heart flinched as I heard Nathan's words. It turns out that during these four years he never slept well because he felt guilty for Stephanie.

My heart ached a little to hear of Nathan's suffering, I clearly did not know if behind his cruel attitude. There was a figure so fragile, a figure that hid his own pain without being known to others.

"Dear calm well.this is not your fault, Stephanie must also feel very sad if you see yourself like this"

"He must have been very frightened and cold because he was very afraid of the sea, and I could do nothing at that time"

My heart ached again to hear her regret that day. I'm not very selfish but I'm also human, I still have a heart.

I'm grateful that it brought me to Nathan, but on the other hand I couldn't be happy about Stephanie's death that made Nathan's life so bleak. Full of guilt.

Suddenly Nathan was tight, he was holding his own chest. I panicked and didn't know what to do.

"Aaggh..it hurts so much" Nathan groaned in pain.

"Nathan....What happened?" I'm very worried right now.

"Rens' pain, my chest hurts a lot"

"....Aghhh, Rens" he's back groaning.

I was getting confused, Nathan's face was getting pale as well.

"Nathan....how is this? I should what? I don't understand" I'm getting freaked out, and my forehead is sweating.

I leaned Nathan's head on the balcony, and I stood up to get my phone to call Kevin.

But just as I was about to step up, suddenly my hand was held back by Nathan. I also looked at him, his face paled, his eyes were also very cute.

"Don't go.." she said.

"I had to ask for help." I was about to step back, but Nathan still held my hand...

"Stay right here and hug me" he said in a weak tone. His eyes began to close, his hand grip was released, his hand was robbed of floor.

"Nathan.....Nathan realized" I immediately hugged him back.

"I'm still conscious, baby.It's just like this for a moment" Nathan opened his eyes slowly, I could feel his body squeezing.

At a time like this he still had time to smile at me, I understood his point. He smiled at me to calm me down and not panic.

He leaned against my chest and closed his eyes. So did I hold it so tightly.

Maybe right now he really needs someone to lean on, considering how every night he never sleeps well. On whom he could lean, he must have kept his own.

Degs....

Suddenly it crossed my mind, the incident on our wedding day. When our bride's car passed a steep cliff to her left was the open sea.

Nathan was like this, even worse. Is there where they both got into an accident.

And also Mamih Barbara's words recollected back in my head....

The flashback

"Mamih...why are you crying?" ask Rens worriedly.

"mmm....Come on Nathan yah!! Do you wish Nathan could go back to how he used to be and forget his bad memories?" barbara cried and smiled at him.

"As before? Bad memories? Mamih mean does Rens not understand?" rens asked confused and curious.

"hmm.then you will know for sure if it arrives when it comes" said Barbara smiled as it passed leaving Rens still fixated.

Flashback off

I let out a long sigh, it turned out that this was the meaning of Mamih's words at that time.

Mamih asked me to take care of Nathan, and hoped Nathan would be able to return to what he used to be. Mamih also said Nathan should be able to forget those bad memories.

Take it easy, Nathan, I'll definitely stay by your side. I'm sure you can get out of your slump.

I'll make you re-perceive what happiness is and forget the bad happenings, with the passage of time.

The two of us will definitely go through all this together, I LOVE YOU NATHAN!!