Mysterious Gus
#19. Farel's Destiny

..."My life would not have been so good if I had not accepted myself and the destiny God had set for me,"...

...Farelle...

Operation Farel which began at eleven o'clock in the evening was not completed until the dawn of Azan reverberated. That makes them worry more.

Now, in front of the operating room was only Hutama, Xander and Tiam, while the others were told Xander to go home, including Raima. Indeed, Raima initially refused, but managed to persuade Hutama by worrying about the condition of his fetus.

Hutama stared blankly at the operating door that never opened. Xander is busy with his phone with Tiam sleeping on his shoulder.

"Shut up?!" Pangil Xander wakes Tiam up.

Tiam squirmed slowly and slowly returned to the realms, "What's up, sir? Is the operation over?" Tiam asked with a hoarse voice.

"Not yet,"

"Then?"

"Woman yesterday,"

"Who? The one in the park?"

"Yes,"

"What's wrong with him, sir?"

"He's not married,"

Little chuckles at Xander's words, "Master is interested?"

"He was almost a victim of abuse,"

"Master's cool with cell phones looking for his data?"

"Hm,"

"Master interested?" Tiam's question left Xander silent. He also did not know why willingly looking for the identity of the woman named Mayang.

Tiam smiled faintly, "I'm glad you're finally interested in women" said Tiam who immediately got a punch on his forehead.

"You think I'm an abnormal man?!" Sinis Xander made Tiam chuckle.

"The lights went out!" Hutama rose up violently from his seat, as did Xander and Tiam.

Shortly after the lights went out, Farel was taken out of the cold room. The tools attached to his body were more than ever before. Those beautiful, sharp eyes were completely closed to dive into the subconscious.

"Farel?!" Call them even though they know there will be no answer when they surround Farel's gurney.

"How, Doc?" Ask Hutama.

"Operation went well. The patient will return to the ICU room for further observation about the success rate of his operation" explained Doctor Ben, who was taken by the three men.

"When will Farel come to his senses?"

"If the patient is able to pass the critical period, during the day the patient must be conscious and we will move to the hospital room. But if the patient's condition does not progress, then it should still be observed further,"

"Well," Hutama replies and Ben immediately asks the nurses to take Farel to the ICU.

"We better pray at dawn first," Tiam suggested ranting Hutama and Xander who were staring at Farel from a glass wall.

Hutama and Xander only responded with a nod and left Tiam, making the young man grumble as he caught up.

***

An hour after the surgery, Farel's ICU room was again examined by Doctor Ben.

"The patient has gone through a critical period" explained Doctor Ben making them say the same thing.

"Patients will be moved to the hospital room if they are awake. Maybe by noon it will be aware when the anesthetic effects disappear," continued Doctor Ben make them more relieved.

"I will call my family first" Hutama said and immediately contacted his sister Luqman to deliver the good news to everyone.

***

The large room was all white and smelled of drugs was filled with the Farel family.

Yes, Farel had grown up before the time of the sublime and now was in the VVIP room that Hutama asked for.

Farel stared blankly at the ceiling of his room, ignoring his family, even Raima who had his umma status.

"Son, why silence? You need anything?" Raima asked, but the son was silent with a blank look.

"Farel?" Call Hutama and Farel responds by turning his head to look at Hutama.

"Why? Is anyone sick?"

"Leave Farel alone!" Ask Farel and look back at the ceiling.

"Why? What's up?"

"Get out!" Dismissed Farel but deeply cut their hearts. For the first time Farel acted that way towards them.

"Better we follow Farel. Maybe Farel wanted to take a break," Luqman advised them and walked out of the room.

"I'm not a Hutama boy. I'm the son of a fucking carrier. I am not the son of Hutama, but I am the son of Adji Barra, the man who harmed my Ummah," said Farel, clenched with clenched hands and reddened eyes with tears in his hands.

Farel tried to change his position to sit, ignoring the pain in his head.

"I'm not a Hutama boy! Wh why? Why should I be the son of a man like Adji Barra?! Why should I, God? Why should I?!" Farel muttered with tears that were unstoppable.

"ARRGHHH!!!" Shouted Farel frustrated with violently removing the infusion, the back of his hand began to be covered with blood.

"JEROMACH!!! WHY SHOULD I?!" Shouted Farel down from the bed and slammed everything around him.

"WHY SHOULD I KNOW THAT FACT?! WHY SHOULD I BE THE SON OF THAT MAN?! WHY ME?! YURGHH!!!" Shouted Farel began to reconcile his hands with the fruit knife.

Farel, that cold-looking man does have a self-injury. He often secretly hurt himself. Hutama and Raima did not know.

Blood filled his body again until it hit the clothes.

Outside Farel's room, they were all astonished by Farel's behavior. Busy with his own thoughts until Xander and Tiam approach them. The two men of different ages did leave after a while Farel siuman.

"Why are you guys outside?" Ask Xander.

"Farel asked us out,"

"Farel himself inside? This room is soundproof, isn't it?"

"He himself and this room are soundproof, indeed,"

"What's up, Doc?"

"Patients doing self-injury. Observed from CCTV. We'll druggle pa-"

"No need! I'll handle it, "cut Xander down and go into Farel's room.

Her grandson was still coolly wounding himself with the sound of his discordant laughter. Xander was sick to see Farel like that. Though Farel's self-injury has long been invisible and now he must return to see Farel hurt himself.

"Assh?!" Call Xander to Farel and throw away the knife Farel was holding.

Farel looked at Xander with his smile and laughed like a child after his wish came true. But Xander could clearly see the pain in Farel's eyes.

Xander knelt before Farel and hugged him tightly. Farel hid his face in the recess of the neck of the man he had been addressing 'grandfather.

Farel laughed, but the tears that came out of his eyes couldn't lie that he wasn't okay.

"Why should I, Dad? Why do I have to be the son of that baj*ngan? Why does the breng*ek man have to be my real cousin? Why should I know this fact? Why should I accept it, Dad?! WHY SHOULD I?!" Farel shouted at the end of his sentence. The grandfather call he used to mock Xander changed into the call he was supposed to be, Dad.

Xander gently rubbed Farel's back, letting him groan.

"Why should I?! Is this a punishment for me? But why should I accept it even before I am in this world?! Even I must have this vile reality. I DON'T WANT TO BE HIS SON, DAD!!"

"Asz, you are my strong son. I believe this is not a punishment for you, but God is testing you to get you closer to Him,"

Farel shook his head in that embrace, "But why should I be with the story of being his son?! I hate this fact!"

"Asz, you should know, God won't test you if you can't. Then you're gonna get through this, all of this,"

"Dad, kill me! That way I can accept this reality,"

"What are you talking about?! You want to leave your Umma? Your abah? The man who loved you more than his life? You want to just leave them alone, Asz? Don't you want to protect your Ummah?"

Farel fell silent and got into Xander's arms, spilling all his pain in that embrace. He did not care about being considered weak, whiny or whatever it was. His pain was more important to shed than his pride.

"You must accept your destiny, Asz. That's what I used to say to you. You must be able to accept yourself, even with crumbling feelings. I know it's hard for you, you hate the reality you have, but you have to remember the beautiful reality you have! You have me, Tiam, Ley, Raima, Hutama, your sisters, and others. Even now you'll have another sister. Don't you want to see your sister born into the world?"

"I'm scared, Dad. I fear. I am afraid of the facts I have. I'm afraid my sisters hate me because I'm not their brother, I'm not as bad as them. I fear they will not accept me, including my friends. I just can't accept myself, much less them,"

"If they do love you, they will definitely accept your fact, Asz. Trust me!"

"I saw Adji a few days ago, precisely at the school's birthday. She's with Zaki, who turns out she's my cousin,"

"I know. I knew the man had appeared again. And I know your desire is growing to protect your Ummah. Steady, Asz! There's me walking behind you, who will always hold you back when you want to fall. There's a Tiam walking in front of you to pull you in when you want to escape reality. There's Ley walking next to you, to lead you when you're lost,"

"Ae Ri" murmured Farel.

"And you still have Ae Ri to look after and you take a look at the real world. Found him with his real father. There's Ae Ri you need to love,"

"When I protect them, love them and love them, where do I get my back? Should I always be in that position?"

"There is a God who loves you so much, Asz. You know, right? The greater one's test, the greater God's love for His servant. There's me too,"

"You know Grandpa?" Farel's question began to stop crying and raised his head to look at Xander. The call was back as usual and Xander was happy to hear it.

"What?"

"I saw you with a woman. You're so happy with that woman. In my dream, I saw you and him in a beautiful mosque" Farel said, chuckling.

"You want me to get married. That so?" Kekeh Xander while asking Farel to lie down again. Fortunately, the stitches on Farel's head did not open.

"I didn't make up the story" Farel replied and drank the water Xander had given him.

"I'm not saying you're making up stories,"

"But you ask as if I'm making up," Farel joked to Xander. Xander was glad Farel was laughing.

Doctor Ben and the others came into the room as they watched from CCTV showing Farel had improved.

"Clean your wounds first!"

"I don't want to" Farel refused.

"Then I won't tell you,"

"What do you want to say?"

"After your wound has been cleaned,"

Farel clucked and nodded in omens agreeing his wounds were cleaned. The sisters swiftly cleaned Farel's wounds and re-infused Farel.

"Ah, I forgot that I had some business," complained Xander as Farel's wound cleared and Farel looked at him with a demanding look.

"Don't pretend!"

"I'm not pretending. Next time I'll tell you. Rest well! I don't want to see you like that," replied Xander and without saying goodbye immediately left the white room while dragging Tiam who grumbled annoyedly.

"More rest, Farel! If you rest properly, you can go home sooner. I live first" said Doctor Ben and returned with his other activities as a doctor.

Farel turned to look at Raima with a sweet smile and spread his arms, "Umma," said Farel whose embrace was warmly welcomed by her mother.

"Don't make Umma sad, son! Don't hurt yourself again! Don't make Umma feel like a bad mother!" pinta Raima is crying again.

"Sorry Umma,"

Raima nodded with her warm smile and gently rubbed Farel's hair, "Don't make Umma worry!"

"Yes,"

Farel turned his head to look at Hutama who was also looking at him with a sad look, but there was a warm smile on his lips.

"Sorry Abah,"

Hutama nodded and hugged his son with warmth, "Don't leave Abah!"

"Yes,"

"Promise Abah that you will be healed! Won't make Abah worry anymore?"

"Promise,"

"Smart son of Abah," praised Hutama as if Farel was a child, while Farel only chuckled as a child was treated like that. In his heart he felt pain and happiness at the same time. Sick because Hutama is not his biological father and happy Hutama loves him.

"You are Abah's son! No one can take you from Abah, including Adji!" Inner Hutama.

Tbc...

^^^#as.zey^