Marrying my Idol Ustadz
MUI: Sharing Stories Like Grief Together
Ustadz Alfi could only shake his head with the glint Dian had said. He thinks there are different things from his wife, such as his emotions up and down and sometimes his budget.
His wife was like a raging lion, but now she is like a spoiled cat and asks for the love of her master. Look Dian has switched to hugging and tightening himself on the left arm and leaning his head on the shoulders of ustadz Alfi.
"again spoiled the story" said Ustadz Alfi smiled happily while kissing the forehead belonging to his woman at a glance.
"he'em, because mas fii is soft and warm" Dian honestly blinked his eyes and nodded.
"indeed this mas is a soft mattress and also warm" reply Ustadz Alfi frowned then looked at Dian who looked at him as well.
"free soft mattress hehe" said Dian giggling amusedly.
"not free deck, pay the cost of the fare"A full Ustadz Alfi smile would be the fiber of meaning.
"yee, basic" Dian revealed slightly away from where Alfi's ustadz was sitting.
Staying away is indeed away but it does not seem to work as well because the man approached again and again. Dian shifted, Ustadz Alfi shifted. The expression of her man really watched her while smiling at his own smile.
"why decoction deck? Away no" asked Dian who waved his hand like driving away a stray cat.
"not"short, dense and clear Ustadz Alfi did.
"distant mas"rengy Dian.
"don't want a dek"ledek ustadz Alfi. He is very happy with Dian who has whined with him like entertainment when tired.
"gold cat garong huh? I was horrified" said Dian rewinded her body to the corner of the sofa and hugged both her legs in fear. While the so-called garong cat even laughed off.
(everyone smiled happily at the absurdity of the couple. Moreover, Ustadz Alfi who rarely laughs like this because he almost became a widower a few years ago, usually he will smile little most often but when with Dian, he will definitely laugh off).
Ustadz Alfi who had approached made Dian stand up and shake want to run and then away from the man. Ustadz Alfi chased after Dian who was evading from the cat garong.
"try to catch me, cat lord garong.wlee" said Dian who stuck out her tongue defiantly.
"oh who's afraid, miss fresh fish." said Ustadz Alfi who was chasing Dian in the back.
There was a chase between the two. From the living room to the kitchen and then to the backyard. Fresh fish always run and have a ruse while the cat garongnya always lose with the trick.
"haha not right, not right"ledek Dian ran over laughing.
Ustadz Alfi laughed at a glance and focused on chasing his fresh fish while Dian ran with a laugh to avoid catching the cat garong.
But due to a technical error, Dian did not see if there was a table leg in front of him and he braked but it was too late and almost fell.
"oh no" murmured Dian who widened his eyes in disbelief and then closed his eyes resigned if he would fall.
Ustadz Alfi swiftly caught Dian and managed to get the body not hit by the cold marble floor. The captured one still closed his eyes and then opened his eyes slightly.
"do I not fall?"terka Dian in the heart.
His eyes opened with the first one he saw the face of ustadz Alfi smiling triumphantly. Suddenly he opened his eyes wide and condemned the technical error earlier.
"well fresh fish, you're caught" said Ustadz Alfi followed by a teat by Dian.
"catch time anyway, you cheat mas?"accuse Dian.
"so anyway, it's clear you got caught" Ustadz Alfi called out as he pulled Dian's nose and sat her down on the sofa.
"no, it's not fair. I should've won" complained Dian who didn't want to lose. Ustadz Alfi fell silent and listened while smiling, his right hand leaning against the sofa.
"i lost for the first time. I used to win all the time. Kak umay and mas agung become cats always lose and I always win to be a fresh fish" said Dian who frowned.
His face was very lethargic and was expecting victory. Dian just sat there regretting that his leg would fall because he tripped on the table leg. Ustadz Alfi smiled again looking at Dian.
"yes. Indeed you always succeed and win, managed to win my whole heart" said Ustadz Alfi made Dian lowered his head and smiled shyly.
"hish what the hell" Shy Dian.
"why ashamed? It is true and proven in fact deck" Ustadz Alfi urged Dian to get in his arms.
Dian speechless. He thought of various strange thoughts in his mind. Will her husband accept her when he can no longer have children and this kind of caring and sweet word is sincerity or pity?
Dian took off the hug and walked to get a white envelope typical of the hospital that is always stored in the drawer of the nightstand. Ustadz Alfi could only stare at whatever he saw from his wife without saying anything before knowing what his purpose was.
"what's this deck?"ask Ustadz Alfi who received the contents of an envelope. Dian sat next to him with a bit of hesitation.
"em. read it first" said Dian who made ustadz Alfi look at the English word for word.
Ustadz Alfi captures if this has anything to do with his wife who can be depressed and have a mental illness. He became very curious about what Dian would say and prepared to reply to the words with great certainty from his heart. However, he knows what kind of nature Dian is and what to do.
"i'll be honest with you with what I've said behind this. Actually I can't give you what a wife gives. Then I also can not keep the care of grace from God." said Dian after sighing heavily, for him this is a huge burden that hit his mind until too down.
"where's the deck?"ask Ustadz Alfi. Dian just fell silent and thought with a little doubt in her heart while leaning on her left shoulder.
"say, try to share and don't be self-serving. Problems can be faced if together, then be honest" said Ustadz Alfi reassured. Dian remained silent and was busy with her thoughts.
"Do I have to continue to be honest or is this not the time but this heart hesitates even more doubtful. What would I choose.." thought Dian.
"don't tell me. You're afraid of me…?"terka Ustadz Alfi who saw the other side. Because at that time Dian continued to be reluctant to look at him. There are two estimates: anger/hate and Fear. Evidently if this wife did it to take care of him and still show the nature of his attention even love him. Then what else besides this conjecture, but he hoped if this was just a guess.
"em.I'm afraid of you" Dian replied.
Ustadz Alfi immediately turned to Dian who slowly let go of his embrace and looked at him with a face that could not be interpreted what he felt. She was shocked at what Dian said.
"just right deck. Did I bite you once?"tanya Ustadz Alfi did not believe.
"never mind, you always bite at night" Dian honestly.
Krik..krik...krik...much silence in the grave awokawok 😸.
Silence struck in both, Ustadz Alfi was so not wearing with honesty Dian who could even be embarrassed and want to hide disappear from the earth. Really not what he meant, haish wrong question seems to ya…
"uh.no that, but did I ever hit you with a rattan? Hit you with a broom or like a roda job?"ustadz Alfi is back.
"no" answered Dian.
"then why be afraid, I don't think it ever made you that way. Because there is no point and no benefit to be better than through violence. A man should also appreciate a woman. Because we were born from a woman's womb that is and nothing but from the mother" explained Ustadz Alfi.
"that's the problem. You say a man is born from the womb of a mother. But I'm a woman and a wife who can't give you any more offspring and a wicked mother doesn't protect her. Not perfect"bluarih Dian who felt the burden channeled even slightly dripping tears. It is not sincere or continue to mourn, only if he has not found the answer to his question it can not be lost from the anxiety of his heart.
"can't you say that, no matter what happens and what happens, isn't that fate? We all know that if God wants his servant back by his side, he will return. Maybe God wants to meet again with our prospective children even though we know that sadness and loss will certainly exist" said Ustadz Alfi who also felt what Dian felt.
"what are you afraid of me for?"continued Ustadz Alfi did not get a response from his interlocutor. Dian who is pensive now feels like he wants to express something with full courage.
"fear.em...you're 'exhaust' mas" said Dian who made Ustadz Alfi shocked.
"Astaghfirullah deck, you are not an item that if it has been 'imperfect' as the beginning and discarded by me." said Ustadz Alfi was not out of thought with the way his wife thought. Is this that fear, not this a mere fear? It is fitting that his wife is attentive but he can first meet from 4 years ago still feel far away even though he is very close.
"i feel like that, you're scared. Moreover, you once said if you want to have a pair of children. But I can't anymore, I'm afraid you choose another woman who can give you 'that' or just throw me off" Dian's timp is more clarified.
"lose that thought. What if I remarry and throw you away as you think God will give you sustenance through another woman? I think if I choose it is a sign that I am not grateful for the sustenance that has been given and hurt the meaning of your pain because I throw away is an obstacle to that sustenance. Allah will not bless him."
"now just say this, answer my question on deck unless you're upset or angry with me. Have you ever disobeyed my orders?"ask ustadz Alfi.
"no"
"have you never done your duty to fulfill my right as a husband?"
"no"
"have you ever not given me that little attention?"
"no"
"have you ever left the prayer?"
"since I've been with you, I've never done that"
"have you ever not read or memorized at least 5 verses with tajwidnya in a week?"
"i've always done it without stopping to not do it"
"have you ever yelled, beat and hurt our child?"
"by Allah I am not willing to do that, he is my own flesh and blood"
Ustadz Alfi questions answered one by one by Dian. But in that answer, there is nothing that makes the value of a mother and wife decrease as little as possible. Then what's the problem? Ustadz Alfi was silent for a moment and smiled faintly as Dian glanced at him.
"but mas. I still feel scared" Dian said.
"may I tell you a little bit and it's not my goal to open up my parents' problems. It's just that I want to convince you and please look" said Ustadz Alfi who sighed to just start telling stories. Dian listened to it carefully.
"then when I was 6 years old, Imi miscarried and lost my sister-to-be before Iisha. How sad umi was then and we all felt it too…."
"umi after that became a different figure in the eyes of Abi. Usually, Umi is very easy to spread a smile, joking and attention to abi. But when that happened, Umi turned tenuous with abi but not with me…."
"i can only listen to what the ummi has to say without being able to finish it. Umi told me that she was very afraid if abi to throw it away like you fear deck. He even felt that he was very much different from abi…"
"the cause is the former Umi ta'aruf with abi at the time of her status as an orphan santriwati in the pesantren. Just imagine where the mind has gone, abi a respected guz and umi only santriwati who got the opportunity to be educated in pesantren owned by grandfather…"
"over time, Umi got sick because of too many thoughts and it also made me sick as well. Because when the baby until now, the bathin contact with the umi is very sharp and extraordinary. Whatever you feel will definitely feel.."Austadz Alfi's story pauses a little.
"then what happened to you?"ask Dian curiously. Ustadz Alfi smiled.
"the confused rabbi has to choose which one. Want to take care of umi or mas? While abi raganya only one and will the chairman if you have to take care of both. Finally, grandfather took the mas to the pesantren until the health of the umi improved."
"it turns out, after that long time abi annoyed with the attitude of umi. He did take care but without saying with his flat face and it added to make umi feel sick but also feel happy because abi did not pay too much attention to keep watch over his heart if it was really scared it happened.."pause ustadz Alfi who drank mineral water that is available on the table.
Dian was a little stunned, this is why as I feel right now. The story he heard was like a strand of a strand of a story that felt like a dejavu. He can only be silent but still listen to the continuation of the story.
"finally because mas told it to grandfather the problem of abi's response to umi's attitude was resolved. Abi then takes care of Umi attentively and even makes umi open her voice to be honest. After that as I recall, Umi fainted and was taken to the hospital. You know what happens next?"utadz Alfi said with a sweet smile as if enthusiastically saying it.
"what ?"ask Dian.
"umi was declared a miscarriage but for the other fetus. But other fetuses don't, I don't know this might be the fruit of a problem. God really saved Umi from the final threat of his household. Subhanallah, it turns out that in her womb grew the fetus of my other sister-to-be Aisyah, the deck" said Ustadz Alfi ended the story.
"so Aisyah has a twin?"ask Dian.
"yes, if predicted by the doctor he said if you want to know the twin brothers who have faced God first then look at Aisha. He is the solver of his fear and the healer of the heart of the Umi. But doctors could not identify whether the twins were identical or not identical. Because the age is still classified from 1 to 5 weeks" replied Ustadz Alfi.
"in conclusion, stay away from your fear. Mas won't turn around and isn't it shown deck. When you were pronounced dead I kept an impromptu and unsettling youth.Yes so called abi to me" Ustadz Alfi said a little insinuating because he knew if the cctv camera continued to connect from earlier.
("ck the boy did not turn out"bathin abi abdurahman who captured the name for Ustadz Alfi where it was his own son wkwk.
Umi Shita can only smile when her son still remembers the events of that time. He would not even consider it a disgrace but a memory neatly stored in his life history book. While others took the story seriously.)
"really mas?"said Dian who looked up like judging the sincerity of the eyes of his man.
"yes"yakin Ustadz Alfi. Dian also smiled sweetly as if the burden had been lost.
"oiya deck, why the hell do you always think that whenever there is a shortage in you. Though I think there is no reason to let you go just like when asking you to your family right" asked Ustadz Alfi curious
"third person in the household. I hate her so much like you hate the parting words between us" Dian replied honestly.
"the third man of you or of myself mas. If there is potential then I will always feel that fear. Want any reason." at once
"dad, is this why? Did you ever feel it?"asked Ustadz Alfi who learned the truth to accelerate Dian's mental recovery. If this is done, then sooner his family gathers again as before with a sign that his wife must tell him about the problems of his heart that was buried old and new.
"there are actually 2 factors I fear like that. One of the family problems is like yourself. I witnessed a real father and mother quarrel when I was 2 years old." Dian said.
Ustadz Alfi was shocked not to play about this. He who is 6 years old only feels like his sadness is not playing, especially Dian who witnessed it when he was forming the basic character em.
Golden age or golden period is the most important stage of growth and development at the beginning of a child's life including his mindset in the brain nerves.
(admad father and mother mira still remember that they just did not think and forgot about Dian's golden age at that time until there was regret but not shame just that they both regretted the act of childishness that made it's all happening. Everyone knows, why Dian is quiet and sometimes jutek, cuek even se bodo very same name someone else but will be considerate and give respect to his family. Doctor Marissa feels this is a momentum where honesty is needed when someone is depressed.)
"due to what deck?"ask Ustadz Alfi.
"mom disappointed with dad. All I remember was the mother's words, she said 'another woman' until it was recorded clearly in my memory. Dad justifies it but that doesn't mean what mom disappoints is true."
"during that time my mother became less attentive to me. Only Dad had the chance to talk to me after a while I was silent, but at that time I could still smile cheerfully as usual…"
"for a long time, father and mother are getting away from each other. Father was confused to explain the problem while mother remained silent without being able to speak again because of the time before I accidentally heard, had a fight and clash. So I don't want to make everything messier, I'd rather be quiet for a while…"
"oiya 5 days later, I got a call from a woman who was quite young from my mother. He even called father like mother the name 'mas'. I was playing with a small angklung belonging to the mbah kakung right near the side door that can now be seen as a window near the living room."
"yes I know, then what happened to the deck?"asked Ustadz Alfi again, remembering that it is true that if you visit there last time there was only a window not a side door.
"dad said very upset to the woman. Because it's causing you not to talk to her anymore. Until I catch that 'third man' is asking dad to his only home he's on the grounds he's in need of dad's help. I don't take it either, I don't know why that time could think badly of what happened…"
"my mind's just 'later dad's gonna get lost if he goes'. I chose to stand on the wall to quickly approach my father who was unaware of my existence. Until finally holding the side door made of bamboo that in fact is not locked or not fastened with a small wooden block of support.and…"
"my body feels soaring. I'm fallin. Then my head feels like it's going to break even crying can't. My head back hit the rock hard and after that I didn't see anything" Dian said paused first.
"he said kak umay, after that the mba kakung that was on top of the mango tree immediately came down because of the surprised cry of the princess who clearly saw me fall and closed my eyes. Dad turned his head and immediately looked while mom ran from the kitchen and held me in hysterical tears."
Ustadz Alfi suddenly felt dizzy and his throat was dry as well as everyone who listened to him. While Dian is so relaxed talking cake no burden guys yes god 😥🙏
"ekhem, then next?"said ustadz Alfi sitting uncomfortably and looking sweaty on his forehead.
"then taken to the hospital. Mbah kakung forbid father or mother to visit together/together. You can visit but each must. Because if it happened that I fell, Mbah felt challenged to challenge the extent to which father and mother think of me first. Actually I'm in a coma but still can hear the words mbah kakung even hear the princess forbid to act decisively."told Dian.
"about 1 week, I said I was still at home not wanting to realize when my father or mother visited each with a different time but on the same day. I realized when many voices gathered together and opened my eyes and saw many people. There are father, mother, mbah kakung, mbah putri, kak umay, mas agung, kakung (kyai), and utii (mother nyai). I'm happy of course but I don't know why I can't express that pleasure."
"in conclusion, since then I do not like and hate 'third person' plus when I was 17 years old. It feels betrayed to wake up again. So before accepting you, I asked what kind of question I asked anyone male proposing to me mas."
"the reality, it makes me close myself and a little jutek" said Dian who ended the story while smiling.
"i understand what you're afraid of deck. Even we are the same getting it. Indirectly the first factor is from his own family and from the pain of being rejected his application…."
"can you be free of all that? No exception for you or me. Try the same to convince that it is all the encouragement that will lead us to happiness" said Ustadz Alfi responded.
"maybe, but only time will tell" Dian smiled faintly.
"ah.iya deck. Is the cause of the 2 factors similarity of past problems so we are destined to the moment like this. Count past the marriage.."smile Ustadz Alfi.
"maybe it is. But do not know, God does not tell us about the next destiny. Kl is told it is no longer a plot twist and we will avoid where our sadness lies. Wahh the world feels like monotony alone" said Dian chuckled small.
"hehe was right, let alone deck. I did not want to choose Ngizinin you left at that time. There will be no tuh whose name is 'the widow unsettling' and no more chasing after it until it is like a caterpillar so deck" said Ustadz Alfi laughing at the thought.
"delicious in being the same tree as that caterpillar?"said Dian by pretending to pout and reject the arm that he had embraced at a glance.
"no, not at all. Even so uncomfortable "speak Ustadz Alfi.
"really? Mas alfi this through the highway and never returned home at night continue to not see tuh tuh that on the lonely road there are only wearing clothes minimal materials. Oiya tight again, his masya god must tempt your faith mas" said Dian smiled meaningfully.
That time was once with her husband from a tausiyah event in 4 places and came home around 12 pm. Then because the gasoline ran out and bang azzam was looking with bang farhan riding his bike kak umay and left Dian and Ustadz Alfi both.
Ustadz Alfi got out of the car to breathe fresh air because long time in the car was like a tightness and continued nausea. While Dian remained. Suddenly there was a sexy woman passing their car from the front and approached a man alone.
The woman teased ustadz Alfi by quickly holding his chin up to the chest of that field and spoke spoiled. Ustadz Alfi could not even move and could only hold his breath hoping his wife would get out of the car and help him.
Dian did see that then immediately came out with her angry face approaching the two of them. Without a cue, his slipper shoes purchased for submission from ustadz Alfi directly landed on the forehead of the lady ganjen bin dedemit. The forehead seemed to bleed a little and turn blue. Lah wong threw it like he hit a golf ball guys, very fast. Because of his lust to throw and jealous results even the shoes that have been museumed at the disposal because the bottom is wide open.
"hahahahaha my god, I think it's entertainment when tired when you act to eradicate the woman deck."lawa ustadz Alfi was really unstoppable when remembering that.
"o Allah, rob hahaha, belly of the pit of the deck"laugh ustadz Alfi who holds his stomach.
"heem, anyways instead of encouraging you to be quiet like a duck child misses its mother" said Dian.
"hehe, don't deck later mas wrong hold can be berabe. Not only did the woman's forehead hit, you could even break my hand" the smile of ustadz Alfi suppressed his laughter. Just being upset just remembering that.
"but kl the problem of origin touch wherever you come from.such as cats see fresh fish, mas would want" said Ustadz Alfi pull Dian on his lap.
"please clean the contents of your head Mr. ustadz with a clean soap and clear water. Can also use fragrances to be clean, cool and fresh."siru Dian who sat back on the sofa.
"wah can tuh, later I give the tip deh."timpal Ustadz Alfi.
"what the heck mas, added ngaco" said Dian frowning.
But then they both laughed together and with a matter of seconds justadz Alfi put himself to sleep in the thigh of his woman. Dian also stroked and then slightly massaged the forehead.
Seriate…
🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
Hello permirswah, how's the eps neh?
Thank God the episode has been updated and if there is a typo that makes it uncomfortable to read, please forgive
Stay Tune and Stay tuned for Notif Updatenya,
Greetings and blessings, see you in next eps. Babe²nya akyu.... Mwuach 😘