Love Raka
chapter 11

Pov Raka's

"Devina will not be my girlfriend, Devina will not you be my girlfriend, Devina you will not be my girlfriend," I repeated the words in front of a small mirror stuck in the toilet, memorize What I'm about to say to the girl who accompanied me tonight.

After tidying my hair and my mind calmed down, I came out of the toilet to convey back my feelings that I had not so I said. Devina was still standing in that place, he still looked at me in astonishment.

"His stomach is better" asked Devina who looked worried.

"I want to say something" I said, trying to get back.

"Yes if you want to say. say Kak, Why should you use ask permission for everything?"

"Akuu, akuuu, akuuuu," Otaku Blank suddenly returned. "Why is it so hard...! Geez why am I stupid, so stupid...!" muttering in my heart, my lips suddenly shook, the heartburn inside the stomach gushed back.

"Why do you want to go to the toilet again?" devina asked as she stared fixedly at me.

"No, no, no....!"I replied while shaking my head then glancing towards the watch. "I want to take you home" I said, ending with a lip bite.

"Ooooh, let's go....!" Devina replied that looking disappointed without waiting for my invitation, she had already walked towards the parking lot.

On the way home there was no chatter accompanying the trip, I just focused on driving the bike, while Devina who was sitting in the back usually she would continue to invite me to talk, while advancing the face, while advancing the face, but this time he was more silent, like he was delivering his daydream.

I could only take a deep breath, regulating the mixed feelings.because on one hand I wanted Devina to know that I liked her a lot, but on the other hand I couldn't express that, I don't know why there is only a sense of annoyance and disappointment with yourself, because it is not able to be honest with the circumstances.

The street lights that were standing, looked silent as if they were feeling what I was feeling right now. They looked confused as to what they should do, the roar of the sound of vehicles passing by, as if inaudible, covered by the regret that was perching in my soul. As if I didn't care what I was feeling.

Until we finally returned to Devina's house there was no talk coming out, only meaningful gazes that could not be expressed in words. I was very sure that I could express it, she said, Devina would have accepted me to be her lover, but even if it looked easy it didn't fit the reality.

After honking the horn as a sign of goodbye, my motorbike drove back towards the road back home with a sense of disappointment that I could not express. annoyed, anxious, sorry, hate, hate, everything became one until I squeezed the handlebar of the motor so hard.

Agggggrrrh....!

Shouted loudly, maybe if someone noticed, I was exactly the person who was less spoonful. From the incident I experienced Tonight, I began to realize that falling in love was very easy, and I was very happy, but it is very difficult when expressed, but it is only to say I love you, but it is very difficult, even very difficult, fear will be rejected, fear with yourself that is not Pede, but it is very difficult, the fear of the person being shot away, the fear of having revealed love can no longer be together, becomes a major barrier to expressing love.

Arriving at home, I kept my motorcycle in the garage, then I shuffled into the house, sat on the sofa in the living room.My hand picked up the phone hoping Devina would send a message, but my hope is only hope because Devina did not do it at all. Maybe she was disappointed because I was not as perfect as the guy who was expecting. This is what made my fear when expressing feelings, because, afraid of the couple we shot away like now.

I opened the messaging app a few times, saw the name of Devina's contact that looked active, but didn't say hello, so I could only take a deep breath to neutralize the feelings I couldn't express.

"You are so beautiful, I'm sorry I can't express the feelings that are in my soul, because I'm afraid of losing your smile, your friendliness, your cute mannerisms, your beauty, your white teeth. I was afraid that everything would go away and never come back" I murmured in my heart while still staring at the screen.

"Well, that's pretty....!" said someone from behind me surprised me instantly, almost my phone fell.

"Mr just surprised...!" I said while hiding the phone by turning the screen so that you can not see.

"It turns out you have good taste in a woman, even though your face does not inherit papa's face, but the problem of our women's taste is not much different," said Papa who makes me smile, because he understands what I am feeling.

"Have a boyfriend who doesn't say...!" he said as he walked around the sifa, then sat down beside me. His hands began to gently rub my back, as if transferring power.

"But Sir....!" A little aduku filled with doubt.

"But what?" asked the father while looking at me in astonishment.

"It's not official yet, sir,"

"Official dong," he said by raising the tone of the voice, so I was a little surprised. "Why are you surprised, if it has not been inaugurated, yes inaugurated dong! what are you waiting for?" continued Mr. Motivate.

"No time is right, sir?"

"Hahaha, Raka Aditya.....! dear father's son, for dating there is no right time, but even so you have to keep looking for that time, because the English proverb says. Time is money. Uh, Time is love, time is everything for love. So your job now is to find that time,"

"But Sir...!"

"No buts, for if you waste too long, then it is the same that you allow the heart of the woman to be visited by another man, who is more handsome and more dashing than you. so if so, stay regret. now you think officialin or regret for life," advice mbak otor love who likes to broadcast on television.

Hearing papa's talk, I just fell silent thinking. Because it is true that if I am late maybe Devina will already belong to someone else, but my stiffness when expressing love, when expressing love, may be, it was a non-trivial matter, a big problem in Raka Aditya's life.

"Why bengong, does Papa have to intervene?" papa said while patting my thigh.

"Ah, I have it." I replied hiding the stiffness.

"Look Raka, love is not to be thought about but must be cultivated. Although Love Already owned by everyone, but to make it happen requires effort, need struggle, but to make it happen, because love is happiness while no happiness comes without sacrifice."