INCESTUOUS MARRIAGE (Blood Marriage)
CHAPTER 02 - INCESTUOUS MARRIAGE
IM.02 QUIET
ALLURA GIBSON
Twenty-two years ago...
"Allura, I just made a cha-cha porridge for you. Eat up! From yesterday you have not eaten anything. If you keep going like this, you can get sick." Joshua said as he served a bowl of porridge in front of me.
I, who was sitting on the sofa in the middle of the house, glanced at the cha-cha porridge on the table in front of me. Cha-cha porridge is one of the typical Singaporean food that I like very much. I used to love dessert dishes with white sauce containing steamed sweet potatoes, tapioca flour, sago and these colorful peas. I don't know why I don't want to eat it. Let alone to eat heavy foods such as main meals, eating foods that taste sweet and savory even I am not tasteful. Making me who has not had a taste for food in the past few days, feel something strange about me.
As I was stunned at the dessert, Joshua again said, "Allura, why are you just silent? Eat up! It's okay if you don't want to eat other foods. But at least fill your stomach with that sweet porridge. Don't make me worry."
I smiled faintly at Joshua who was now standing on a tidal away from me, directly across from the table in front of me. Then in a low voice I said, "Alright. I'll eat it when I'm very hungry."
"Aren't you hungry yet, Allura?"
"Not yet, Joshua."
"Huff... Why haven't you had a taste for food lately? Since we've been living in Thimpu, your appetite seems to be on the decline. Not like we used to when we were living in Singapore."
"Yes. I feel that way too, Joshua. Don't know why I've been eating less lately."
"Are you still thinking about Albert? Are you still thinking about Adrian?"
"Yes, I'm still thinking about the missing Adrian. But I didn't think about Albert clearly hurting my feelings. Remembering it would only hurt my own feelings."
"Then don't think about what makes your heart hurt. I'll keep looking for information about Adrian. Eat now!"
"I'll eat the porridge in a minute."
"Do you feel bad in your stomach, Allura?"
"Yes, it seems so."
"In that case, later in the afternoon we go to the doctor. Now I have to go to work first. There's a few things I need to check into the field this morning."
"All right."
"Is it okay if you're home alone?"
Looking at Joshua's unusual facial expression as he asked, I turned to ask, "Why are you looking at me like that, Joshua? Of course it's okay if I'm home alone."
"It's okay. I just feel sorry for seeing you spend all the time at home. You used to be a career woman who always went out to work every day. But now you're turning into a home-based woman who always wanted to be at home. During our stay in Thimphu, we only went out for a few walks. Even you're more likely to refuse my invitation than to come with me out of the house."
I smiled back at him and said, "Thimphu's atmosphere is so different from Singapore that it makes me feel good at home, Joshua. I feel connected to nature. Not to get along with the hustle and bustle of the city like it used to be. I feel so comfortable we're here."
"Thank God, if you feel comfortable living here. Do what you want to do to fill your days. I'm sorry if I can't always accompany you at home because I have to get out to work."
"It's okay, Joshua. Being allowed to stay here with you has made me feel so grateful. Thank you for taking me to such a quiet country and for allowing me to live here."
"Together, Allura. You can stay here as long as you want." Joshua said with a warm smile to me. Then glanced at the circular watch on his wrist and again said, "I'm too late. I have to go first, Allura."
"Good."
Immediately I got up from the sofa and followed Joshua who was now walking towards the main door of the house. After he opened the door and was about to leave, Joshua looked at me for a moment and again said, "Take care of yourself when I'm not home. And don't forget to lock the door."
"okay."
"See you tonight."
"Yes, I'll see you."
Ever since the great quarrel between me and my husband Albert Ma on the eve of the disappearance of our son Adrian Ma, I have continued to try to forget him and throw away my love for him. The pain he had inflicted on my heart was so deep, it made me want to leave my previous life and start a new life in this Thimphu city. I keep trying to forget Albert Ma in various ways, but I can't forget my son Adrian Ma who just disappeared. Unfortunately, every time I think of my missing son, I also think of Albert Ma who had cursed me with the phrase 'Fuck Woman!'.
Thimphu is the capital of the Bhutanese state of South Asia. The country known to people as the happiest country in the world is located between China and India, precisely in the Himalayan Mountains. Simple community life, natural beauty, and natural sustainability, make this small country is very interesting to live in by people who want to be away from the frenzy of megapolitan cities that never sleep. Including myself who wanted to get away from my family and go from the life of Albert Ma who could not appreciate me. And even though I was here happy never came to me, but at least I felt comfortable in this quiet town of Thimphu.
During his time in Singapore, Joshua, who was a good friend of mine and Albert Ma, was in the property business. At first he only helped me during Albert Ma's coma for a few years. After that he built his own company and no longer cooperates with us at Ma's Property. But no matter what happened to his business, he finally chose to move to Buthan. Because the economy of Bhutan is largely based on agriculture and animal husbandry, Joshua built his export business by sending agricultural and livestock products to neighboring countries such as India and Bangladesh. It may look very simple compared to his life while still in Singapore. But he seems to enjoy it a lot and feels good to live in this newly developing country.
When I daydreamed and dissolved in my own thoughts that were still plagued by grief, I who had felt unwell suddenly felt nauseous. Immediately I ran to the bathroom, then vomited out what was in my empty stomach until I felt tired. At the same time I remembered my menstrual cycle that the last few months hadn't come. Could I be pregnant right now?
I, who was worried about my alleged pregnancy, immediately got out of the bathroom. Then I picked up my phone that was on the table and immediately contacted Joshua who had gone to work since an hour ago. And without waiting for long, I heard Joshua's distinctive voice from across the phone, "Hallo, Allura..."
"Joshua, can you come home early this afternoon?" I asked in a low voice while moving over the sofa.
"Of course, Allura. Why why anyway? Are you feeling any less well?"
"Yes, it seems so."
"Then I'll go home now. After that I'll take you to the doctor."
"No need. It'll be late in the afternoon if all your work is done."
"No, Allura. Your health is more important than this job. Wait for me at home. I'll be there in 15 minutes."
****
ALBERT MA'S
Today is my 30th day without my son Adrian Ma and my wife Allura Gibson. Today is also the 30th day I do all my work at home without having to go to the office. Ever since I lost Adrian Ma and was left behind by Allura Gibson, my life has been so empty. I no longer heard the crisp sound of Adrian Ma talking to me. I no longer see the sweet smile of Allura Gibson that always calms me down. And I can no longer see the faces of the two people I love that I have always missed. The happiness I felt during my housekeeping was just a short walk away.
As long as I don't meet the two people I love, I'm always haunted by guilt. If only I had stayed with Adrian Ma, he would still be with me. If only I had not uttered any harsh words and oaths to Allura Gibson, he would still have been by my side to strengthen me. I tried to be at peace with myself, but to no avail. Because the loneliness that never went away from me, made the regret grow longer and longer.
As I worked and did various activities, I kept thinking about Allura Gibson and Adrian Ma who had yet to be discovered. I've done various ways to find the whereabouts of both of them. But until now I have not found the bright spot. I don't know if my son Adrian Ma is alive or dead. And so does Allura Gibson, who doesn't know where to go. Ever since the big fight between me and him that night, he left the house and never came back. Could Adrian Ma be gone? Could it be that Allura Gibson was so angry with me and didn't want to be with me anymore?
GECK! GECK! GECK!
As I sat still and dissolved in my own thoughts at my desk, I suddenly heard a knock from outside the door. I who had just regained my senses from my long daydream, spontaneously turned to the door and said, "Come in!"
As Cassey, Allura Gibson's assistant, appeared from behind the door. He entered my study and walked up to me with some maps in his hand saying, "Excuse me, sir."
"En..."
As he stood before me, he put the map on the table and said, "Sir, here are some of the documents that Mr. Sir has requested."
I nodded my head as I reached out to pick up one of the maps. Then I asked, "Cassey, has there been any progress from the search for Madam and Adrian?"
"No, Mister. Yesterday the police told me that they had done various ways to search for the missing Adrian on the beach. They did not find Adrian. They had also tried to find the Madam in various parts of Singapore, but they also did not find the Madam. No immigration data has been found on Allura Gibson's name coming out of Singapore, sir."
Hearing Cassey's reply made my heart break even more. One month of searching for my son and my wife with no results left me deadlocked. In my heart I said, oh my God... What am I supposed to do? Should I give up?
As I did not respond, Cassey said, "Master, the police have also said that they will stop the search."
"Leave it if the police stop searching. Until whenever I will keep looking for the whereabouts of Allura and Adrian. I would do anything to find them and bring them back alive or not." I said with a flat face while trying to strengthen myself.
GECK! GECK! GECK!
I just finished saying, I heard the knocking on the door from outside the room. And Cassey, who had been standing before me, said, "Let me open the door, sir."