EL NATH (Glorious Regrets)
Chapter 22 Loss

Hospitals.

Almost all night Tiara was awake. He could not sleep just because he thought of Nath, the father of his deceased son-in-law.

Nath, I don't know where and where that guy is right now. The insistent man wants responsibility but disappears just like he swallowed the earth.

Tiara waited for the message, but never came. Allegedly for conjecture actually came to change in his mind.

His parents and Naura's sisters slept in the hospital overnight, looking after him. No one talks about fetal problems at all. So did Tiara who was still hesitant to ask.

Occasionally Tiara cries over the unrecognized departure of the fetus. He was increasingly convinced that his fetus could not be maintained because there was a feeling of damp and uncomfortable behind his pants like when he was coming to the moon.

This morning, the sister delivered breakfast. "Good morning, Ma'am?"

"Morning, Sus," she replied with a smile.

"It's better than it looks."

"Alhamdulillah."

"It's breakfast. His medication. Don't forget to drink, yeah."

"Thank you, Sus."

Her mother painstakingly fed Tiara. The two are still silent to each other. Dad's gone to take Naura to school. Last night, his sister was picked up by Ezra and taken to the hospital.

Tiara chewed the food in her mouth with mixed feelings.

How can mom and dad act like nothing happened? Why do you still love me so much? Why don't you show the slightest anger.

"Medicine, Ti." His mother gave him some medicine to drink.

Silent...

Tiara continued to watch her mother who was cleaning up her used tray.

"Bus ... "

"Sorry." Tiara. He cannot admit his mistake.

Bu Nurul sighed. "You realize you're wrong, Ti?"

Tiara immediately raised her face. Stare at the face of the woman who gave birth and take care of her until this moment.

Tiara bit her lower lip with tears drenching her cheeks. "Tia was wrong, Mom. Tia's wrong. Tia's sorry."

"You kept it a secret until God finally took it back." Tiara looked at her mother's direction. He understands what is meant by a fetus in his womb.

"That means, you can't get that big trust yet."

Tiara's getting sobbing. Is it because of this that Nath left? Is it because Nath is disappointed because he can't look after his future son? Didn't Nath have the message to look after his future son?

Tiara cried. He has no power to hold back his tears. If only he hadn't provoked Reyfan's anger, but he would have. Rice has become porridge.

"Then, from this second on, fix everything you have, Ti. Try to be a much better human being and don't repeat the same mistakes."

"Mom forgave me?"

Bu Nurul nodded. "Mother's disappointed, Ti. Mom's angry. I feel like I failed as a parent. But, no matter how you look at Nath who looks down, make you sure, he's really sincere with you."

Tiara. Bang Nath looks bad in mom's eyes?

Tiara was crying again. She's down because of her son-in-law, Mom. Not because of Tia.

Tiara remembered Nath's remark on the train a few days ago.

*Stay with this fetus, Ra.

Or I'll regret it for a few times*.

"Mom, we don't love each other, ma'am. Bang Nath must have fallen because the fetus in the womb Tiara no longer exists" said Tiara Lirih.

Bu Nurul stroked his daughter's head. "Mom doesn't know Ti, how you can conceive a child from a man you don't love."

"What's just about avoiding Reyfan, Ti?"

Tiara shakes. He did all of that accidentally. Precisely after the incident he had just thought of making the responsibility of Nath as a reason to refuse.

"Yes, Mom."

****

Meanwhile, Nath was walking into the hospital area. He came alone, he did not hesitate to wait any longer. So, this morning he immediately rushed to the hospital after asking his parents for permission.

Nath briefly meets Tiara's mother in the parking lot, and she is allowed to meet Tiara.

"Please take care of him for a moment, Ya Nath. I'm gonna buy breakfast first."

Nath looks at his plastic bag, he regrets why he did not bring food for his mother Tiara's breakfast. It only brings fruit.

"I'll buy it, Mom. I went back to Tiara's room."

"No need, son. Someone wants you to buy it there." Show it on one minimarket.

Nath finally went inside with mixed feelings. Guilt, sadness and anger again enveloped his heart.

He asked Bu Nurul where Tiara's ward was. And he can find it quickly.

"Square."

Nath opened the door and he could see Tiara lying half-sitting, as the bed was arranged in such a way.

Tiara could see Nath coming. He took medicine and started to get sleepy. But seeing Nath coming, the drowsiness just disappeared.

Tiara tried to sit down. Nath who saw him having trouble immediately ran over and helped him. "Be careful, Ra."

Nath's breath feels warm touching his temple. Tiara looked at the man who since a few days ago made her feelings become erratic.

He momentarily forgot Reyga for the sake of imagining living a household with

the man he didn't love.

She also imagined what it would be like to be a young mother holding a baby.

Nath's eyes began to glaze over, looking at Tiara's temple on the bandage, looking at her cheek that was injured by the scratching of the asphalt. And his eyes were fixed on Tiara's stomach which no longer had a fetus in it.

Tiara also began to look in the mirror, seeing Nath's face full of bruises. Who beat you up, Bang? Did people misunderstand you until you got beat up like this?

"How are you doing, Ra?" asked Nath with great gentleness. "I'm sorry I can't take care of you and them..."

Tiara was silent, and she began to digest Nath's words. "They?"

"Twin." Nath looked at Tiara's stomach. "They..." Nath shed his tears unable to continue his words.

"Twin?" Tiara repeated Nath's words.

Nath nodded and Tiara lowered her head to hold her stomach. His shoulders were shaking, he was spilling all his sadness.

It's worth it that Nath looks bad, he's lost not just one child, but two. Forgive me for not being able to take care of you, baby.

"I killed them... Hiks... I'm sorry, Bang. I ... I can't .. keep .. them," he said amid his sobs.

"Shhh!" Nath stroked the head of Tiara. "It's not your fault, Ra. All this is destiny, all are arranged as God."

Tiara looked at Nath with her puffy eyes. "Aren't you angry?"

Nath smiled, "I'm mad at myself, for not being able to take care of you and them."

"I'm sorry, Ra."

"It's all because of Reyfan. Aye! Because he. He pushed me, Bang. I hate him. I hate him." Tiara screamed hysterically.

Nath hugged Tiara tightly. "Ra, calm down Ra. Calm yourself. He's wrong, but think about your health, Ra. Don't make her happy with your deteriorating condition, Ra."

"Clearned, Ra. Ikhlaskan," whispered Nath slowly.

Tiara started to calm down. And Nath kept hugging her.

"I'm sorry" said Tiara.

"You're not wrong, Ra."