Dum Spiro, Spero
A Goodbye

Baskara believed that God was the best planner. So when his plan to fare well to Lintang ends up messed up because his true identity and Blue is revealed first, he believes that it is God's way to make him accept the past. Maybe enough escape. It is enough to live as someone else and to lie to many. At this point, Baskara tries to believe that everything is set up and that this is what is best.

“You have the right to be angry, if you want to say to Father and Mother to expel us now, I will not give a defense.” Her speech. As a final touch of a brief explanation of who he and Blue really are and what underlies them should live as others. Just a small part. He did not explain the details about the complexity of life he left in Jakarta.

By his side, Blue is on standby. The gesture the girl showed was enough to explain that Baskara did not need to feel alone. There will always be Blue in every circumstance, and it is also that in the end makes Baskara's belief to return to Jakarta even greater.

“I'm sorry for living by someone else's name and making us fall in love with someone who doesn't really exist. I will not force you to believe either, but at least allow me to say that everything I and my lover did to you was purely from ourselves. Our name can be fake, but our attitude is really representative of ourselves.” It is long at length.

He didn't expect Lintang to believe it. Being lied to for almost a year would obviously not make the girl easily accept everything. Baskara simply did not want to lose the opportunity to convey to Lintang that she really loved the girl, like her own sister.

“Lintang still hope that this is just nonsense,” shrewd the girl. His gaze was pushy, falling on his own two feet.

“But unfortunately, this is all reality.” Baskara. “I know you are disappointed and hope everything is just a dream. I understand, because I was once in the same position.”

Releasing himself for a moment from Blue's grasp, he walked closer towards Latitude. Without intending to be insolent, he touched the back of Lintang's interlocking hands.

“Why is this so?” faintly, it sounded the girl shimmered.

Baskara did not have the heart, wanting to hug the girl's trembling body but realized she could not. Abhimanyu's identity has been canceled, automatically there are some things that he can no longer do.

“In life, people who come sometimes will indeed leave an incision. I'm sorry I had to be one of them. I'm sorry for having to be your heartbroken, cah ayu.”

Latitude's shoulders trembled violently, he cried. The greeting that until yesterday still made his stomach filled with butterfly colonies now even feels foreign. It felt like coming from the middle of nowhere and his existence was quite difficult for him to accept.

Once upon a time, there was someone who told him that first love would not go well. Some of them will end up becoming strangers, while some others end up hating each other like there is never a fragrance of the love they feel.

Say Stupid latitude or something, but when someone says that, he only responds with a smile. He was first in love, and the one who managed to make him feel all those beautiful things was Kanindra Abhimanyu, a man who he thought was different and could take care of his heart well despite his unwelcome love.

Lintang believes falling in love with Abhimanyu is the right decision. He thought that being considered a sister was enough. At least he could still be at close range with the man. Smelling her unique perfume scent, seeing her beautiful smile, also witnessing the many good things that the man did. He is too in love, until it is difficult to believe that it turns out that the man he adores is not even real.

“Lintang wants to go home,” says Lintang. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

“I drop off,” Baskara offers.

The head of Lintang shook his head quickly in response. “Can be alone.”

But Lintang should realize that the figure in front of him is no longer the patient Mas Abi. This man is back to being himself, who is stubborn and tends to want to be obeyed.

The man grabbed his arm and solemnly said, “I intervened, hah ayu. Anyway, I made you cry. So if you are with your mother later, you do not need to worry about answers. I will love, I will explain to them why his beloved daughter is crying.”

Latitude energy was not much left, so he just resignedly let Baskara lead him out of the rented house. Staggering to the place where the car is parked.

Before their steps arrived in the yard, Lintang heard Baskara say to her lover, “Gue anterin Lintang go home first, yes. Wait at home, do not forget to lock the door.” And at that point Latitude finally realized that this was not a dream. That he had to accept the reality with a chest roomy, even though it feels very difficult to make a headache.

...****************...

The wheels of the car stopped turning. The sound stopped shortly afterwards. Replaced by the sound of the heartbeat of each son of Adam who sat quietly without exchanging chatter.

Along the way, all Lintang did was finish the crying. He drained all out his tears, hoping that when he got home there was nothing left.

However, there was one thing that escaped the attention of the Latitude. He forgot that crying out loud enough meant that he would leave a noticeable trail. Red and swollen eyes he can get away with by pretending to be exposed to dust until irritation. But his frog-like hoarseness won't disappear anytime soon, unless he has the superpowers to turn his voice into Nadin Amizah's.

Because getting into the house now will only get him rewarded with various questions, Lintang also decided to stay longer in the car. It won't be enough for just a minute or two, he might have to stay there for at least the next 30 minutes. And of course, he couldn't do that if there was still someone else there.

“Lintang still wants to be here. Alone.” Say it with a little emphasis on the last word. Too confused to say in person that he wants the man behind the wheel to leave immediately.

“I temenin.” Steady of the man.

Practically, Lintang turned his head with a slight frown on his forehead. “Lintang will be alone,” repeat.

The man looked back at him, with his strange eyes still capable of making Latitude a nightfall even though he knew Mas Abi's figure was completely gone.

“Those who are again upset should not be left alone.” Said the man.

“Stars just need to calm down,”

“I accompany.” As for the man again, this time seemed stubborn to not be denied again. “I will wait here until you enter the house, until I make sure you enter the room and do not crawl alone with the car in this state.” Reciprocity.

For a few minutes, Lintang did nothing. Even with the man behind the wheel who apparently also does not know what to do. Then it reached the point of being saturated, Latitude edged towards the door on his left.

First of all, he lowered the car glass to a knock, then focused his chin there. One hand stretched out, reaching for the breezy wind that blew. His breathing began to stabilize. His head was also not as crowded as earlier although occasionally he was still denial by saying that today's incident was a dream.

“How complicated are your life problems to have to use someone else's name?” the question breaks the silence. Undeniably, he also wanted to know the reason behind the birth of Abhimanyu and Anindia. At least, if it was reasonable enough, he would probably find it easier to accept it.

“Complicated once.” Adam answered. Either it was just the feeling of Latitude, or the voice of the man indeed sounded lower and deeper.

“Absolutely complicated? Until others can't understand?” ask the latitude again. He is still in early position, already comfortable. Although he knew chatting while turning his back on the other person was impolite, it was fine, he wanted to be a wayward child just once.

There was a heavy breathing sound from the steering chair. And despite being curious about the expression that the man had now, Lintang decided not to turn her head at all.

“My father has two children, all boys. One is born of a legitimate marriage, the other is born of a fault. For years, my brother and I were friends, not knowing that we were born from the same father. I live with all the comforts of my parents, while my brother has to live without knowing who his father is. He did not even get affection from his mother who always thought that he was the son of an unlucky carrier.”

Closed latitude. Reflex, he bit his inner lip. But apparently, the surprising thing is not finished there. He was made speechless as the man continued his story.

“Time goes by, and when the great secret finally reaches our ears, I have to discover that the mastermind behind all the misfortune that my brother has experienced is my own mother. In order to protect me and her little family, my mother tried her best so that my brother would never know who her real father was. No kidding, my mother even lost the life of the woman who had given birth to my brother. My mother allowed herself to be a criminal, just for the sake of keeping her little family intact.”

Unable to hold back any longer, Lintang finally turned its head. But instead of finding the man looking down miserably, he saw a line of grin.

“Sinetron abis, yes?” the man's chirps suddenly, followed by a crisp gel sound that contrasted with the dim look of his eyes.

“Mas...” Lintang almost mentioned the name Abhimanyu, but luckily his brain sent a signal to stop immediately.

The man smiled, “I'm too cowardly to accept that fact, so I ran away with my girlfriend. Life moves from one city to another hoping no one will be able to find our existence.”

“I ... created Abhimanyu and Anindia in the hope of starting life again. As a new individual, which is not related to any tragedy in the past.” The man drew a glance and then looked down. “But as time went on, I realized that I was still Pramudya Baskara. As far as anything goes, in the end I will still be myself.”

For quite some time, no one could tell Latitude. His lips were tightly clenched, his head was busy processing information one after another lest anyone be missed.

“I will return to Jakarta,” and the question was successful in making Lintang stop from all its activities. He looked back at the man next to him.

“Me and my boyfriend have planned to say goodbye carefully to you before returning, but the situation has even become like this.” The light of the man, then turned back to look until their eyes were fixed.

Latitude saw the man take a deep breath, then his voice went back into the air. “One more time, I'm sorry. During my time here, my girlfriend and I have been a lot of trouble for you. My boyfriend also often acts rude, I represent him apologizing sincerely.”

Then, Lintang found the man smiling gently. “And thank you. Thank you for loving us sincerely. Thank you for always being ready to provide help even if we do not ask for it directly. Thank you for being a good person, Lintang.”

Supposedly, Lintang uses its time well to make its hoarseness disappear. But when the man thanked him with a sincere smile that reached his eyes, Lintang could not even let his tears back up.

“Don't regret being a good person just because you met my kayak, yeah. And hopefully in the future, you can meet other good people, sincere people, who can show who they are who they really are to you without the need to pretend.”

The more Latitude heard, the more tears flowed. His feelings are mixed now. Angry, upset and sad huddled in his mind so it was too difficult to choose the one he had to validate first.

In fact, when the man's hand touched the top of his head in the same way as yesterday, Lintang still could do nothing but try to keep his cry from becoming more and more.

“I pamit. Whether willing or unwilling, but I hope you are still willing to greet me if someday we do not accidentally meet. You also need to know that at any time, we will still be considered as my sister, Lintang. Sweet and adorable little sister.” Then Lintang felt the man's hand go down to his cheek, wiping away the trail of tears that had run down the river there.

“Part yourself well, cah ayu. I'm actually pamit.” Shoot that guy. Then Latitude saw him move open the door. One leg was out, resting on the asphalt road followed by another in just a few seconds.

The man's body is now completely outside the car. And Lintang can only stare at his movements with a tight chest instead of playing.

“I was going to want to keep you feeling better, but it seems like the only way to let you not cry anymore is to go. So, I'm leaving, yeah. See you soon, if God permits.”

Afterwards, Lintang actually saw the man stepping away. His broad back slowly drifted away. Getting further. The farther until it is completely lost swallowed by the turn.

The latitude rests the body on the chair. Feeling helpless to accept the reality that comes too suddenly.

So, this is how it ends. His first love did not work, and he did not know if there would be any other love that would break him more than this.

That afternoon, under the scorching sun that burned the skin, Lintang still befriended her endless cries. By ourselves. Lonesome.

Seriate....