Dum Spiro, Spero
Let's Survive

“Gue same Mas Abi just have each other, that's why I seem possessive abis same him.” After a long pause, Blue again voiced. The latitude sitting next to him still did not give any comment. From the tail of his eyes, he could see that the girl had nailed a long enough look at him, with a face full of remorse.

“If you are destroyed, you still have the same Father Mother. There are still Asih Ma'am, there are still people around you, who love you, who can help you to recover again. But I, really-have no one but Mas Abi now.” Tired enough to look up, Blue finally lowered his gaze back. He looked towards the latitude where both his eyes had been covered in dew. Blue grimaced, because it was the first time he saw a chatty latitude that could seem sad.

“Not want to show off sadness, but the life we live is heavy. If we were separated, if there were a moment where we could not strengthen each other, we would be confused to live this complicated life. Then we will be destroyed, just wait for the time until everything falls apart.” Unable to see the increasingly moody latitude, Blue threw his gaze forward.

You’re Gonna Live Forever in Me John Mayer is being sung by street musicians up ahead, with slight changes to the arrangement that do not in the least reduce the sacredness of the song. The night, the people get closer. With a partner, with friends, with relatives. They docked to the ongoing live music area. Their hands clasped each other, their smiles exchanging with sincerity.

In the interaction that occurs between the breaks of his sentence, Blue tucked away the longing that has plagued him for the past few months. Since living as Anindia and Abhimanyu, Blue lost some moments that he could no longer do so freely with Baskara.

Hand in hand, cuddling, giving intimate kisses that make them instantly forget the whole world. Romantic things like that they can no longer do as freely as they used to, because what people know, he and Baskara are a pair of sister. Excessive interaction will only make them look strange, then people will begin to suspect and move to find out the truth. Obviously, Blue didn't want that to happen. Despite her weight, she still wanted to live as Anindia. Because at least, that way, he can still join Baskara in his escape.

“Gue very dear Mas Abi, Latitude. The affection that you may never understand because you were never in my current position.” Blue spoke again after the tightness in her chest subsided a little. “Gue apologizes because my attitude has been outrageous, but may, no, I ask you to also do not be the same kebablasan Mas Abi? I ... still can not squirm Mas Abi more pro to others. I still can't get used to squirming Mas Abi care that much to others because all this time, I've always been in Mas Abi's priority. I'm always number one, so please give me time to at least thank you for your presence in our midst.”

However, just a few seconds after he finished speaking, Blue was instead taken aback when the sound of Latitude stuffing came in his response. When he turned to check, the girl had already lowered her head, cupping her face using both hands while her shoulders shook violently.

After arguing for quite a while with himself, Blue finally shuffled. The skinny body of Latitude he pulled, he hugged by letting the girl spill a cry on his shoulder. The narrow back wrapped in a pink jacket he patted many times, as if to convince Lintang that he was not alone.

“Lintang ... m—apologize, Ma'am...” in between his sad stuffing, that apology escaped the lip of Latitude. Blue did not pierce him, only getting stronger hugs and speeding up the tempo of the pat on his back.

Baskara was right, it turns out. Latitude is indeed only a child who does not understand how hard the world is. The attention-hungry child who thinks that the world will be kind enough to give her what she wants as long as she is willing to put in the effort. Little children who do not understand, that sometimes, adults have to live to be someone else in order to survive in this cruel world.

Latitude is only a small child whose existence wants to be recognized, and Blue is an adult who does not want to know, does not want to try to understand so that what happens between them is always a tiring silly quarrel.

The song that was sung changed again, this time Blue did not know what the title was because he had only heard it for the first time. But instead of enjoying the foreign lyrics, he instead let himself drown in the feelings of guilt that Lintang brought. Not until crying indeed, but he also felt his chest was hit by tightness when the crying Lintang inexhaustible, even more becoming and difficult to stop.

While across the street that was starting to be quiet as people flocked to storm the center of the crowd, Baskara stood with a floating feeling. Not knowing whether to be happy, or sad to see two women across the street hugging so tightly, forgetting about the existence of other humans around.

...🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻...

Vero drove through the quiet streets of Jogja. The front seat is occupied by one and only Paramudya Baskara, while the back seat is occupied by his beloved girl, Eleena Sabiru.

Before bringing Blue home, he had already repatriated Lintang—also with the help of Vero. Along the way, he took the time to extract information from Lintang, whether peace with Sabiru has been achieved well or not.

The whole love. Baskara chuckled considering how innocent Lintang was when she said so. The boy thought, what Baskara did to Sabiru really is the attitude of a brother to his only sister. Mistake Latitude makes him unsuspecting little goods, although on several occasions, the girl should have seen that the interaction between herself and Sabiru is quite excessive for the size of brother and sister.

“Lo again ngetawain me?” from the back seat, Blue protested. His arms were coiled not so tightly around Baskara's waist slowly away, until now only his palms were residing on the man's waist.

Baskara shook her head, just before she deflected the handlebars into the area of her rented house. “Gue again laughs at this silly life.” The answer then, then stop the pace of Vero in front of the gate.

Blue jumped down, moving quickly to open the gate so that Vero could enter and immediately rest. He also let Baskara say that he was not connected until the man finished putting Vero in his place.

“Rather than ridiculous, I even feel that our lives lately too horror.” The word Blue as they walked hand in hand into the house.

Baskara chuckles at it, “Horor why?”

“Horor, because I almost lost myself.” Blue paused for a bit to put the key into the slot in the door, then after the door opened, he continued. “Saking seriously deepened the role as Anindia, I sometimes forget that my name is Sabiru. Even when I was again in the same Latitude peace process earlier, I actually put myself as Anindia, you know?” Blue chuckles later.

Now, come to think of it, what he said to Lintang sounded rather ludicrous. It is not a lie, because in reality he only has Baskara for now. But seeing the Latitude response filled with guilt made Blue unpleasant. He just couldn't guess what the boy was like when one day all the truth was revealed.

“Bas,” Blue stopped its steps after making sure the front door is locked. He then stared fixedly at Baskara, provoking the man to return his gaze equally deep, equally washed away.

“Why?”

“Gue is thinking the same latitude. How would he react if he knew the truth about us?”

Instead of answering, Baskara turned her back after tightly grasping Sabiru's fingers. “Neot to think too far. We focus on the present path, as best we can as Abhimanyu and Anindia. Until later time we say goodbye and return to our own identity.”

Then just like that, their conversation was over. And they agreed not to talk about it any more in the future. Their lives were already heavy enough, thinking about too many things would only make their situation even more difficult.

So for now, they will only live as they can, as Kiandra Abhimanyu and Kimara Anindia— as Baskara said.

Seriate