Mr. HansH (Ishq Mein Marjawan)
A Secret

My breath felt tight clogging the windpipe as we arrived at the hospital. My blood rippled and felt like my bones were flowing. Due to a severe panic, I was reluctant to open the door and get out of the car that had now stopped in the parking lot.

"Come, honey," HansH asked.

My God, cold sweat is dripping slowly on my temple. Breath hunting.

"My HansH?" I gulped. Uneasily.

"What's wrong?"

"I. i. anu...."

"What's wrong? Speak."

"I. I want you to promise me one thing."

"M-mmm? What promise?"

"Give me time.. emm..," my words faltered, then slid so fast, "Please give me time until delivery and then you test for DNA. I mean to prove that I'm not your son. Don't accuse me of being a non-indirect. Don't accuse me of cheating. Don't put a gun to my head. Don't kill me, HansH. Don't kill me" I said without brakes. "Don't kill me."

HansH's forehead automatically folded.

"HansH..," I said, "i mean, if it proves to be positive for me to get pregnant, please give me until I give birth, so you can do a DNA test on our baby. To prove the baby is your flesh blood or not. Don't just raise your gun and kill me. For by God, I swear to God I never betray. I never cheated. I only have sex with you. Even once, for God's sake, I never had sex with another man, much less until a seed came in and grew in my womb. Never does. Absolutely never, My HansH. I'm loyal to you. Please, trust me. Would help?"

HansH listened to me until the long words were finished, then he nodded.

"So you're gonna give me some time, right? You're gonna wait until our baby's born and you can do a DNA test, right? Please, I beg you?"

Again, HansH nodded. "Can I do the talking now?"

I nodded back.

"Listen to me, don't cut my words. Okay?"

I nodded my head again.

Gently, HansH grasped both of my hands and kissed her deeply. "I love you so much. I want to live with you forever. You know that, right? I want to live with you forever. Forever. So, promise...."

"What do I promise?"

HansH closed his eyes for a moment, then he said, "Please promise me, whatever your examination results will be, even if it shows the worst results, you must be strong. You have to take it with a chest."

The deg!

"You mean?"

"promise?"

"Wait first. Mean what? Exactly-"

"Promotion only, dear. Just suppositions. Calm down."

"What do you mean talk like that? Why me?"

HansH looked at me with concern as he held onto both of my shoulders. "Just suppositions, okay? Hope you're okay. We pray well, and hope you don't do anything. There is no serious pain in your body. Aamiins. You promise you'll be strong?"

All right, I get it. I nodded my head and I promised in reverence. "I promise I will be strong no matter what my examination results will be. I'll be strong. Now it's your turn to promise. Hmm?"

"Yes, I promise."

"What promise?"

"Promise, I'll be strong to deal with whatever happens. I will always be with you."

The answer is a nod. He smiled then kissed my palm. "I promise" he said.

"That's complete..," I asked.

HansH took a deep breath. "Yes, honey, I promise I'll give you some time, I'll wait until you give birth, and then I'll do a DNA test to prove that what you gave birth to is my real son. My flesh-blood. I pledge. Okay?"

Oh, I'm relieved.

With a faint smile, HansH took me out and went straight to the doctor. I guess we have to register first or whatever the patient is supposed to do in general, then wait in line and wait our turn. But it turns out that all is not necessary. HansH had already made an appointment with one of the obstetricians at the hospital. And it made me think of a no-no.

No. gabe. Don't think negatively, Zia. HansH must have just made an appointment with a doctor. That does not mean he has planned something or tried to cover up the actual circumstances like the scenes in the soap opera. Okay fine! It can't be like that. Relax and calm down. Relax, Zia. Be calm....

But in fact I remained restless, even the anxiety was reluctant to disappear until we were actually confronted by a doctor whose face symbolized his experience. It is already wrinkled with lines that show clearly it is more than half a century old.

Long story short, the gynecologist I believe has known HansH for a long time and vice versa - asked me for a blood test. Not a urine test, let alone a fertility test.

After waiting a little while, we were called back by a nurse who this time asked me for a urine test. My urine is contained in a small bottle tube. Then a laboratory examination was performed. We are waiting impatiently for both tests.

After waiting a little longer - again, we were called back to see the gynecologist. And this time I was asked to lie on the bed for an ultrasound examination. With an ultrasonic gel applied over my abdominal skin, the doctor pressed a transducer on my stomach and noticed a monitor screen displaying the state of my uterus. Nothing the doctor explained to me. Not like the scenes I've ever seen in a soap opera scene. Even on the monitor there are two circles that if in the soap opera the doctor will explain that it is the fetus of the mother. If there are two, it means the fetus is twin. All I know is that. Why is the doctor silent? All that seemed was the look on his face that was like a astonished person. And I don't know why.

"How did it go, Doc?" I'm just impatient.

The doctor put on a forced smile, stopped his examination and then sat back in his chair. In front of HansH. Then, with the help of the nurse who cleaned the remaining ultrasonic gel in my stomach skin which means - I think the examination is done, I again sat in front of the doctor.

The doctor did not speak a bit. He looked at us alternately, at me, then at my husband. Me again, my husband again. Until finally he looked back at the files in front of him. On his desk.

"What's up, Doc?" ask HansH.

The doctor remained silent for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Look, Mr. HansH, of all the tests we've done, Mrs Mahesvara tested positive for pregnancy."

The deg!

"Eight weeks old twins."

Oh, I'm gawking. "I'm pregnant, Doc? Am I really pregnant? Twins?" seruku glee. Thank goodness...! Thank you, O God. Thank you, my Lord....

My heart cheered happily, but finally came back terrified considering I was in an abnormal situation. Exceedingly...

When my focus returned to being aware of the situation inside the small room, I knew something was wrong. HansH and the doctor stared at each other, just as astonished. They seem to not believe the results of this hospital laboratory medical test.

"What's up, Doc?" many finally. "Is there something wrong with my body? I mean... What is my content problematic?"

The doctor did not answer my question. But he instead spoke to HansH, "I'm sorry, sir. I have something to tell Mr. HansH. Can we talk four eyes, I have something to explain."

"What's up, Doc?" I was surprised, I suspected why I was not involved in the conversation. "Please tell me."

The doctor was still unwilling to answer my question and looked back at HansH. His eyebrows rose with a slight movement of the head.

"You wait outside for a minute, yeah, honey."

"But, My HansH...."

"The doctor needs to speak to me with four eyes. You wait outside. Would help?"

Alright. What can I do besides obey? I was helpless, I went out and stood outside the room where the nun was waiting at the door. Keep HansH and the doctor talking so I can't hear him.

Argha! All sorts of bad thoughts swirled in my head. What is HansH keeping from me? Why wasn't I involved in the conversation? What did the doctor talk to my husband? Is my content problematic?

Oh yes, my gibberish. I'm pregnant with twins. Oh, my God, thank you. Thank you, Lord. It's exactly like in my dream. Thank ye. I hope my body is okay. Please don't get in trouble, God. Pl-please....