Merlinda (Ranging Back)
Not Having Guts ( Meili )

Jerry woke up at six in the morning. This woke up all along. And he slept well all night. He woke up with his lips together, and could not wait to see his flat object. That thing, became the first thing he touched when he woke up, these days.

Falling in love, makes the morning so interesting.

His smile line widened even more, when he found some messages, from someone who was the reason to wake up earlier. He even covered his lips, as they were unceasingly blotting. Especially when, he saw the picture of Opor Chicken that Meili sent to him. He was too happy because of that. And in the next message.

Unknowingly, he imagined while tasting the handmade food of the woman. And his heart was pounding, just like the waves seen from his bedroom window. Imagining Meili made her heart always happy.

He was a little upset, because he could not read the message, in time. It had been almost two hours that the message was floating on his flat screen. And he was upset, because of the time difference they had.

The woman's message was ignored. He was too impatient to see her face, compared to waiting, the woman returned the message. And it was, not as much as yesterday, to send a video call to the woman.

He looked towards the wall clock, the third time, his call was unanswered, "what he was sleeping ", he said guessing, but then, he doubted his own words. "maybe he was exhausted. And at that moment he hoped that was what happened. Even though his feelings disagree. He was too worried, Meili met the man. And he sighed, though he immediately dismissed his thoughts, but his heart remained unsettled.

His phone was still in his grasp, when he chose to enjoy the morning, staring at the waves.

Actually, he still had tens of minutes, to go back to sleep. But his mood, did not allow his eyes to be closed again. He was anxious, because of the thoughts lodged in his brain. Although he repeatedly tepis, but the thought never wanted to go.

" You're too scared, Jerry" he told himself. But at that moment, he was trying to win himself over. Really, he was not ready, if his happiness of these few days would be over. He was not ready, woke up in the morning without news of the woman. Or fall asleep, without saying good night to her.

Looking at the waves, not making it calm. It just makes him more upset. The disbursement, as if equalizing the current condition of his heart. He still had a thousand reasons to convince himself. That Meili was asleep, or Meili was away from her phone, or Meili was doing something. There are still many reasons that can make him sure, that the woman, was not with the man. But his own feelings did not convince him. He was worried, very worried. And I can't shake that feeling.

He went back to checking his flat objects, after a shower. And that was the umpteenth time this morning. But, he had not heard from Meili there yet. In fact, he was so hopeful before going to the office, they exchanged news.

" You sleeping ? ", he wrote, then sent it to Meili.

His mood this morning, was made chaotic by the woman.

~

Elin stared at the three-story building, with a glass wall, in front of her. The big door, to enter the building, says his name, To our beloved Elin. The writing is so large, on a medium-size board, that it hangs on a glass door.

He was still silent, and stared in disbelief at the wedding gift, which he got from Banyu.

Wilna was heard talking behind the phone together, Mrs Vernandes. He approached Elin.

" he's still stunned, staring at your gifts" she told and Wilna was heard laughing.

" Mom, may I speak to Mother", pinta Elin. Viona must have immediately given a flat object in her hand, "my daughter-in-law wants to talk to you", she told Wilna, before the flat object moved into Elin's hand.

" Mother, is this not excessive ? ", soldier Elin, when he was confronted by Wilna. The middle-aged woman immediately laughed, "Mother already thought, you'll say that ", she said.

" Mom, I'm serious. This gift is redundant ".

" Your father, not accepting rejection ", replied Wilna laughing, "do you not like ? ", tanyanya. This time, he did not laugh.

" I really like it, Mother. But what would a building this big ".

" To display the work of your clothes later ", sahur Wilna quickly. "you see the front glass wall" said Wilna. Elin looked at the passage "there, your best work will be displayed. Elin almost cried at the time, but she held it half to death. Viona approached, and gently embraced it.

" Mother ", call her weak and hoarse. "this gift is very expensive, and I'm afraid I can't do it ".

" Don't be pessimistic dong", sergeant Wilna. " Even if it doesn't happen. You can use it for others. It's yours, and yours, too, for what you're doing ".

" Don't be depressed, because of what Mother said. Consider it a prayer. Whether or not it happens depends on the Great One ".

Elin's tears were already dripping by then. " But why. Mother is very sure it will happen ", continued Wilna. Elin could no longer say anything. He was, too overwhelmed at this moment. Everyone loves him too much. " Dad, where's mom ? ", he asked in a hoarse voice.

" Your father's still in the office ".

" Tell me thank you to him. Even really thank you ".

" Don't overdo it, son. What you get is nothing. Your in-laws are very capable, giving more than that ".

" It is not the size of Mother" Elin said. " I thank you, because you are so intent on giving a gift like this" he said. Wilna was silent behind the scenes. His laughter, now shaded by Elin's words. " You are a generous girl" she said.

" Use the gift as best you can. And don't try to bring it up one day ", he asked. And a few seconds later, Viona's flattened object, had already moved to its own owner. "I hung up. Your daughter-in-law, always makes me touched ", she said. Not yet Viona answered, the call was right to end unilaterally by Wilna.

Daniel leads his wife's body into the building given by Banyu. The woman's move, a little slow. He still could not believe, the luxurious building in front of him, being his free possession.

A middle-aged man opened the door of the building. And lead them to explore every part of it. And all along, Elin did not stop wiping away her tears. The arrangement of space in the building, as it is specifically to become a figure of clothing.

A towering glass wall, facing the road, as if it was made to show off the best clothes from his handiwork. As Wilna said. Large spaces in the shape of the building.

" Why are they so good, yes Daniel ", he said weakly.

" Because they love you so much" Daniel replied.

~

Meili, still did not move out, even though the car he was driving had arrived at his destination. He remained silent, looked at the house before him, and hesitated at his original plan. He hesitated to confront Brian. I found the man's face, and spoke. In fact, his tongue had been choked before that happened. And the more he feared, he became doubtful of his decision.

But the door of the man's house, suddenly opened. From inside the car, Meili can see Brian's body, right there. The man was really looking forward to his presence. And now, he no longer had a chance to leave.

The man smiled blandly welcoming her arrival, as did Meili. He really can't act sweet, in the middle of their circumstances. In fact, to kiss the man's cheek, as he used to do, when he came, or meet him as he is today. Their atmosphere, now, has felt different. But Meili was stunned, when her body was suddenly hit by Brian's embrace. "why did you change, Meili ", he said hoarsely. And Meili could not say anything, not even his hand was able to move to return his embrace. It was just a hug, but right now he was afraid to do it.

" Yet, you said you'd never change Meili, until whenever you just loved me" Brian continued. Meili gulps. His chest was tight, because Brian had brought up his words, and he was once so evil as to make a promise.

" Why have you changed ? ", he asked again. Her bright gray eyes were now silent, highlighting right in Meili's blue eyes. He's, like, looking for answers there. "tell me, this is just my mind. You didn't turn Meili around ?. You still love me, don't you. Meili's chest is getting crowded. Guilt soars there.

Brian was silent, because Meili never spoke. As if he found the answer now. Again, he looked into the woman's eyes, and he could not find what he was looking for. The blue eyes that always looked at him lovingly were no longer there.

He turned his body around and wished that his body would not fall down, before reaching the corner seat of the room. And he was lucky, it turns out he was still so strong stepped up to get there.

From his place, Meili grew even more silent. Brian no longer urged her with words. But, as he looked at the man's back, his heart became increasingly sore, by guilt. Brian's body shrank, the back of his field was no longer as wide as it used to be. Like the last time he saw. They met on the night before he went to Indonesia.

And he remembered that night. He hugged Brian tightly before he left. Leaning his head against the chest of the man's field, while leaning against the sofa, in the room where they played PlayStation with their other friends.

Brian's house, indeed being the basecame they got together, and also became a silent witness of their feelings, before finally revealing to each other that they had fallen in love.

The terrace, above the fish pond, in the corner of the house. It's Meili's favorite place. Even when Brian found out. He added a hanging swing there, so that Meili preferred the place, and looked calmly at the fish swimming under his feet, which were covered in glass.

Brian, don't let that fishpond get dirty in the least, just for Meili's sake. Even though she never knew until now.

All he knew, was to always find the fish pond in a clear state.

Meili came, when the four men were playing the playstation, except Ben. "don't bother Brian, Meili", exclaimed Billy. Everyone there, very familiar with his habits when it came to that house. He's gonna hug Brian, no matter what he's doing.

And today, Billy warned him early. Before the woman destroyed the game they were playing. He and Brian are in the same camp, to fight the two brothers Jacob and Jack.

Brian smiled, as Meili's face pouted. " Wait a minute" she said softly and smiled very sweetly.

Smile, which always makes Meili's heart pound.

Brian, has very neat white teeth. His smile became more and more beautiful, every time he showed the row of teeth. Added with slightly volume lips. As if, all the members in his mouth, were deliberately designed to beautify his smile. Like that, especially in Meili's eyes.

Seconds after the game is over. Meili immediately scattered in Brian's arms. No matter which four of his friends would reproach him, he was already full of it. The two brothers Jack and Jacob, never cease to reproach, he and Brian, when they find out they have been in a secret relationship, behind their friendship.

Jacob protested. He regretted that the two human feelings were intertwined. Actually not because it was exactly, he was just more worried about their friendship later, if until sometime the relationship would end. Meili's still putting it off.

Brian took her to his favorite place, when everyone was unhappy with their affection.

Ben, grumble at that moment. Because it must replace Brian's place, in front of the game screen is underway. And at that very moment, he became in Jacob's camp, to oppose their relationship. The friendship has become chaotic, ever since the relationship existed. Meili, it's not as good as it used to be.

They sat on the swing, with Meili's body in Brian's arms. " Have you been gone so long ? ", ask the man. At that time, Meili was staring at the fish that swam to and fro, which was clearly visible from where they sat. And it's no longer interesting, when Brian, asks him.

Meili grunting. At that time, he was very upset because he had to go to Indonesia, and at that time, he also still hated the matchmaking made by Viona to him.

Elin and Daniel's engagement, her only biggest reason for joining at the time. She even hated her mother when she found out about the match she had made.

" Not for long. After my brother's engagement is over. I'll go straight back ", he said at the time. In reality, it didn't happen. Daniel and Elin were not only engaged there, but they continued to get married. And he, should be longer in Indonesia because of it.

Back then, he almost hated Daniel's unwarranted decision, who suddenly wanted to marry Elin sooner. The plan to quickly go home and meet Brian again, becomes a failure because of it.

Meili was thinking. Maybe at that time, it was not actually Daniel's decision to marry Elin sooner, but the desire of the Great One. Because of that, he will stay longer in Indonesia. And Lord, meet him more often with Jerry. And then, that sense appeared in his heart.like a figurative sentence, There is always a cause, when something happens. And it really happened to Meili. Everything that happened while in Indonesia, it turns out he was the reason. Every incident at the time, as deliberately there, to make him meet Jerry.

" Are you going to meet that guy ? ", Brian asked again. Meili had seen his eyes at that moment. Under the light of the lamp, but the bright gray eyes dimmed. Like today. "if I had the chance, I wouldn't wait until it happened" he replied.

" What if you don't have a chance. Does that mean you'll still meet him ".

Meili grinned. "even if it happened. It will not affect our relationship. You know I never agreed to this ridiculous matchmaking, and you also know I love you so much ", the reply was so sweet. He was too bold to convince Brian that his feelings would never change. He has no power in his own heart. He forgot, every human heart is so fast changing and easy to fall in love.

Highlight the eyes that had dimmed, now sparkling. And Brian kissed his lips just then." Hold your promise ", he asked and Meili nodded confidently. And now that belief has disappeared to where.

They hugged all night. Clutching each other so tightly. Meili remembered very well the chest of Brian's field, that night. The length of his hand, as if it had been measured to circle properly, on the man's body.

" Please promise not to fall in love with the man, Meili" she said, before she returned home.

" That's totally unsettled in Brian's mind. Even meeting him I have no desire. So how am I going to fall in love with her ", she said so lightly at the time. And Meili believes, now that sentence has hurt Brian. He was really too promising at the time.

Again, that night Brian kissed his lips, before he got into the Mercedes Benz car in metallic red, his birthday present, from Daniel.

The man clasped his face gently, and touched his lips very sweetly. Until his heart warmed at that moment. It was as if the man was pouring out his heart, through his kiss.

" I love you so much, Meili ", he said, after their kiss was over.

" I love you more, Brian ", he replied so confidently, and as if it could not be changed by anything, and now, he regretted all his words that night. She's like a fucking girl, who makes false promises and plays behind.

Meili's eyes began to glaze over. This is what he was afraid of, and now it happens. Something he had already decided, went awry upon seeing Brian. Seeing his sturdy body that was no longer as fierce as before. And the jaw that used to be firm, now looks more tapered.

The man hurt himself. And he's the reason.

The words that had been prepared all the way to the man's house were now destroyed. Even to say an apology, his tongue was already choked to move. Meili felt too guilty, and in fact he was guilty.

It should have been at that time, he wasn't sure to promise that his feelings would still be there. Or at least, he does not doubt the existence of the Great One, that, things could happen, or could change. He forgot at that moment. If he was just an ordinary man. He was born more fortunate than other humans, but the heart he created was no different from other humans as well. He is cheap and fragile and falls in love easily.

Meili's tears trickled down, and she quickly wiped them away.

Regret soared, and he felt very guilty towards Brian. His regret was not about his heart that had already moved on Jerry, it was not his will to be in love with the man, but the will of God, he said, and now he does not want to be a proud man who reneges on His greatness.

He regretted what he said that night. Convince Brian that his heart will never move and everything will be fine. In reality, it was all messed up, he couldn't help but fall in love with Jerry and now, all the lines that came out that night, just nonsense that made Brian finally hurt.

Meili was sorry, because the man was too good to be hurt. Brian, the guy who's always been there for her. When Reymond was never there. When Viona is busy with her business. And when Daniel was busy with his work, and he was neglected. And at that time, Brian was always by his side. Makes her smile when she is almost crying by the longing with the harmonious atmosphere of her family first. Taking him wherever he wanted, Brian always followed. In fact, the man was the first person he called, when his car tire deflated. And Brian always comes as fast as possible, when it happens. In fact, before they fell in love with each other, the man was already the one who had always been there for him. At the time, Meili only thought it was the attention of a close friend. But that's why he fell in love with that man.

Brian is a simple man. But Brian, always do whatever it takes to make her happy. Always there when he needs.

And always give sweet gifts, when the mood is not good.

Brian is not lacking. He has given many luxurious gifts to Meili. He is the only son of a successful lawyer in New York City. Meili's life is the highest caste of all castes in America. The success of Brian's parents, will not be able to equalize their position in front of the people who know the relationship.

Not infrequently Brian heard a sneer for him. A loser who just wants to drain his girlfriend's money. But he never wanted to break up. Let God and Meili know how he loves her.

And last night, Meili finally found out why Viona didn't support her relationship with Brian. Though he was very sure, his mother was not someone who cared about caste. His mother, a woman with a beautiful heart. As beautiful as his smile, when meeting with anyone.

He only finds out, if Brian's father, had been an opposing lawyer from the insinuation that had occurred between his mother and Charlote, the woman who became the reason, Reymond rarely returned to their Mansion. and Meili, who was the only one who had ever met him, hates Charlote so much.

The woman, unhappily confessing to being his father's first wife. Then make demands on his mother, as his mother, who took away the happiness of his household. He is a thorn in their harmonious family. Charlote was the woman her father had loved before his mother. But she was not a woman, the first one to marry, Viona was that woman. The woman who was chosen to be the Madam, the Remkez family. Charlotte and Reymond meet again. It was as if an old love between them was springing back, and Reymond betrayed Viona. But as long as it happens, where Viona is irreplaceable, she is the real Miss of the Remkez family in all eyes of the American people. Everyone admired his humility, but that was before Charlote heated up, and turned it all around. It was as if Viona had become a thorn.

Prewedding photos that had been made in the past, became a false proof, that He and Reymond married, long before the wedding with Viona occurred. And at that time, almost all women, the American people, hated Viona. Cussing it non-stop. Sneering at her heartlessly, without knowing everything was just a manipulation made by Charlotte.

It was like last night, like it was time for Meili to know everything that had happened to her mother. One article about the trial was left behind, out of all the articles Reymond had lost.

His finger clenched, as Charlote's lawyer so easily called her mother woman*****, just in front of all the media, in the middle of the trial. He became very angry when he found out. Sure, Viona's mom. Women who have been defamed without feeling by Charlotte and diaci maki by almost all Americans. Even upon seeing that, he came back to hate Reymond, and right then and there, was a desire to avenge the deeds of the middle-aged man who became Charlote's lawyer. Who also courageously humbled his mother.

Jemari Meili began transmitting the man's information on the internet. His heart was pounding, when he found such a familiar last name on his tongue. Stainfald. What he feared happened. In the man's bio, Brian Stainfald's name appears as his only son.

Meili's crying broke last night. It turns out that he had a relationship with the son of someone who had hurt his mother heart without feeling. He really doesn't hate Brian. The man played no part in his father's mistake. The mistake, just born from a man does not have a heart. And last night, the decision to end the relationship was so unanimous. They had no hope, and Jerry was never there. Meili will not spoil her mother's feelings, for her own. He would never do that.

Meili's body collapses on Brian's floor. He was crying over why their relationship was so bad. Why should there be love, if in fact it's as wonderful as this.

He only found out about his match.just as he was being made to fall in love by Brian.and without him, his heart had moved to Jerry, by the time he made a promise to Brian, and without him, his heart had moved to Jerry, that his heart would not turn away.

And as if all was not enough, the events of the past were shown to him. As if the universe was telling, that from any angle they would never be put together. Then why yesterday, love was born between them.

Meili sobbing. He wasn't thinking of his heart, but he was crying for Brian's. In reality it was the man who was destroyed at this moment. This man is the most hurt of these bad destinies. As if he had to give up, it was as if he had no strength to fight for his love. Destiny was so cruel to him. Even though he's innocent. And Meili, I don't know why her heart moved so fast on Jerry. It was as if that man had never made her so happy. It was so easy, to take his place, as if the man had never been worth anything. He really didn't want this, but this is what happened.

Brian was lost in his heart. Even now, he wanted to tightly hug the man's body. Crying so much, and asking the man to forgive him, but Meili had no guts for it, even to see his gray eyes, he had no guts. The blame is too great, and Brian is too good to accept all this bad destiny.