Not I'm Taking Him
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After Bang Fajri was buried, I just pondered in the room.

The body of bang fajri was buried after the magrib. All my extended family and the extended family of bang fajri are still sitting in the living room of our rented house.

Bang Fajri and I did contract a house in a simple cluster.

I looked around my bedroom with a bang fajri.

Many memories are created in this room. together we have been for two years.the intimacy and warmth we create.

Yes, we contracted and have lived in this house since we got married.

My bedroom door was knocked from the outside.

"Gita, I want to go home first!. come here again tomorrow!". said the mother-in-law from outside the room.

I took a slow breath. I got up from my seat which from earlier sat on the side of the bed. towards the door of the room.

"Mother stay here tonight.

"Mother just go home, tomorrow mom will stay here. Now there is your mom and brother.

Indeed my in-laws' house is not so far from our house, because we are close to my in-laws and also my office.

"well mom! careful!". I said.

I finally let go of my mother and father-in-law, as well as my husband's older brother and sister.

There was me, my mother and my brother and his wife, who were carrying their three-year-old son.

Last time after finishing holding bang fajri's body, we all taught together for a while. There were also some neighbors coming.

Bang fajri friends from his office also came earlier, but only in the mosque when polishing bang fajri and funeral only, did not stop by the house because it was night.

"You rest, the one who mourns will not come again. Let your mother and brother lock the door.

"Good ma'am!. Bang, brother, I'll go in first.

They nodded their heads, and I entered my room tired.

I lay my body on the bed, still smelling the smell of farfum bang fajri.

Every time we worship and exercise at night, bang fajri always wear farfum. until the sheets and pillows stick to the smell of farfum and our sweat the night of yesterday.

Yesterday night we also performed a hot ritual up to several times. da still leave the distinctive smell of farfum and

I sat back down. unpacked the bad cover with a new one. replaced it with a new one So that my brain more fresh.

I don't want to remember everything, make my chest tight.

The husband that I have respected and cherished so much, stabbed me so cruelly.

I threw the sheets and pillowcases into the empty basket with a little emotion.

Then I went to sleep, closed my eyes.I hope, tomorrow will greet me brightly.I don't want to remember what happened.

I woke up from my restless sleep. I dreamt, I was having a hot romance with my husband, every time he rained down on my body, he always apologized.

Every time we loved her she used to say my name and thank me, but in my dreams, she kept apologizing to me.

hff.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead.It was like I was done with a sweaty night workout.

I rose from my sleep.I probably slept with annoyance considering my husband who lied to me from having an affair.So I dreamt of having sex with my husband.

Or maybe I didn't shower after my husband's funeral.

I went to the bathroom and took a shower.I took a cold shower, so my head was cold

Good thing my city is a warm city, because it's on the beach, so it won't be too cold for a midnight shower.

I dream and sweat.

Finish bathing and shampooing.also with the intention of taking a big bath. due to dreams of togetherness.

I pray at night.please forgive God.I may have sin and also mistakes that I am not aware of and without being afraid of others.

After praying and praying, I sat on the dresser chair, looking at the makeup mirror in front of me.

I took a slow breath, hopefully I can face tomorrow without anyone else wanting to disturb me.

I had to forget all.puke also died, although leaving the wound that was widened.

I approached the clothes. I want to check on my husband's clothes, maybe I'll keep them or I'll give them to his brother. Let's blessings.

When I opened it, I couldn't get it out. I'm looking for a good day.

There's only worry if I let it out now. Later in-laws will ask, why is it so quick to clean his son's clothes.

I'm closing my husband's closet.

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This morning at noon, many of my coworkers and coworkers came to worship.

Everyone came to say their condolences, I thanked those who came.

My husband's coworkers also brought and returned the tools at my husband's desk.

Don't forget my husband's car that was in the office yesterday.

From there I also know, if the husband in an accident brought Dian's motorbike.

"Mbak Gita. this file bang fajri and car keys bang fajri. the car we have brought!". said one of the office representatives.

"Thank you sir, sorry for the trouble!". I said stale.

"Why is Fajri out of the office on a motorcycle?!. There is no exit service!". asked my husband's boss.

"Pak Fajri said there was business with mbak Dian. hence meteka out using a motorcycle mbak dian!". said one of the friends.

"Not that they often go out on a motorcycle every afternoon break!.

Sorry!". said one of the women I know of bang fajri's office troupe.

Everyone looked at the woman. One more fact.although yesterday also said often be my husband's napping friend.

I know, my husband's position is quite high in the company.he served as deputy head of the department.although he was not even thirty years old and I was twenty-six years old.

And Dian. He's just a regular employee.

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