Love Bersemi In Turkey
Tells the story of me and Vian

She hugged me very tightly and because I was not used to it, it made me feel different. I feel better. He took it off and entered the house with his big bag.

“Wah, nice house,” he said while smiling at me. I smiled back, not knowing what to say.

“I Masara. I married that idiot Hamzah, don't ask why" he said, trying to melt the atmosphere. I smiled and told him to sit down.

"You're really pretty with that abaya and that veil" I said slowly.

"Oh, really? Thank ye. Well, I wasn't like this before. I mean, before getting married to Hamzah," he said, turning away. I was curious but decided not to ask any further because I did not know him.

"Are you hungry? Or do you want to drink something?"I asked while standing.

"I'm not hungry, thank you, but I want to have some tea" he said, nodding. I went to the kitchen to make tea.

"So, how long have you been married to Vian?" tanyakanya.

I thought for a moment. "I think it's been six months now" I said without looking at him. I know, he nodded.

"You're really quiet, huh?" tanyakanya. I looked at him, trying to figure out if he meant it, but couldn't see anything.

"Yes. Maybe because I never had anyone to talk to, except Vian," I said with a slight smile. I don't want to see his face. I don't want to see guilt.

"Oh, I know what you mean. I'll tell you my love story" he said, taking a cup of tea and sipping it. I went to the kitchen to pick up cookies, then immediately sat back in the living room to hear the story.

"Before, I wasn't a good girl. Maybe I deserve to be called family scum. Everyone in my family is very kind, devoutly religious, except me. I was a bad girl who never cared about anything. I go out, hang out with everyone, smoke, drink, do everything. I don't know how to pray, or fast. The only thing I know is not to eat pork, and not to give our sanctity to others. One day, while I was hanging out with my friend. Suddenly someone came, he was a friend of my friend." He paused for a moment, his mind glaring as if back in time. I watched her closely, but she suddenly laughed looking at my serious face.

A moment later, he continued. "The man spoke to my friend. I still talk about important things with him. Just sober, I yelled at him 'idiot' because he interrupted my conversation with my friend. We finally had a fight. I kept scolding her, but she kept quiet quietly. He did not return my swearing and mockery."

"It made me very angry, then I kept pushing and pushing. After a while he just shook his head ignoring me, then left. I've never experienced anything like it before, which is why I think about it all the time."

"A few days later, my brother came to me and said that a man wanted to marry me. I was really surprised, because I never thought someone would marry me."

"Sometimes I think about it, but I never hope. Because I know, no one wants me, because I'm not a good person. I have a bad reputation. So, I decided to meet the man who wanted to marry me. I just want to know, why would he want to marry a girl whose life is as messed up as mine? Then, I went to see him, and guess who he is?" he asked while looking at me mysteriously.

I thought for a moment. How do I know who he is? Masara smiled at me.

"Why? "I asked him to continue.

"She said that she saw me every night in her dreams. He said he saw the good in me but it was very deep and needed light to be found. So we talked for a few weeks and I finally accepted the proposal. After we got married, we talked about a lot of things. He inspires me so much. He told me things I never knew about this religion. He made me believe in God. And I'm so grateful that God created a man as good as him for me" he said.

Wow, that's a really beautiful story. I immediately thought about me and Vian. Will Vian change too ..?

"Well, I don't think I'm that lucky" I said unconsciously. My eyes widened while covering my mouth with both hands. What did I just say?

"What's? Why?" Ask while sitting up straight. What am I supposed to do now? I closed my eyes. I need that voice back. I tried to concentrate but it didn't work.

"You can tell me anything Sadiya. I will always be ready to be your loyal listener. We're friends" he said, making me smile a little.

'Trust him. He'll be your help to find her. Don'tbeafraid. He has been sent forever.

You'll be fine' I heard the voice I was waiting for, I opened my eyes and tried to arouse my confidence.

"Yes, but .. I don't have a story like yours" I said. Masara looked at me, his mind wondering what I was going to say.

"My parents forced me to get married," before I could finish my words I heard Masara gasping for breath.

"You're serious?! How could?! Why?!" A series of questions popped out of his mouth.

"I don't know," I said with a deep sigh. I can't say this, it's too hard to say. But I have to talk to someone about it if I want to stay sane.

"They forced me into this marriage. At first, it felt like hell. But it's better than me staying at my parents' house. Vian is sometimes bad for me. But I know, he's just upset by what's happened to him. He's been through a lot, so I've always tried to survive even though I know he doesn't want me. At first, I really felt tormented. I even .. I even tried to end it all," I said the last part in a disjointed voice.

I can't control my feelings, because this is the first time I've talked about this matter with someone. She shifted her seat closer beside me then clasped my hand on her lap. It makes my heart flutter. The way he looked at me looked like he cared so much.

"You can tell me anything. I'm there for you You're my sister, how could I not care?" he said softly, trying to give me a reason to believe it.

"But I didn't do it. We went through a lot. We quarreled. He often fights, no matter who. There were days where he had just come home covered in blood and bruises because he was out fighting. After a while, I don't know what happened but she .. she started to trust me."