Hacking Flavors
Heartbroken Again

After reprimanding myself, I said in a flat tone again.

"Is that all you want to talk about, Rin? Well then, I'm leaving now yes," I said flatly as I was about to turn towards Mark's house.

"Wait first! Why run away again? So, how's dong going?" Cecar Karina is after my answer.

"uh? What continuation?" I asked him to pretend I didn't understand.

"It's the relationship between us, Lan! Indeed what a continuation of soap opera! Don't be so stupid all of a sudden!" Rutuk Karina who came back upset.

I refrained from laughing at Karina's current behavior.

'calm down, Lan. calm down. don't show me that you care about her. It will only make her wish for you!' again I remind myself.

"We're friends. Isn't that enough for you, Rin?" Ask me flat.

"Well?!" Karina seemed to be in disbelief at the answer I just gave her.

The woman then looked at me again. Until it makes me careless and unpleasant so her.

I turned my gaze to her hair that glittered reddish due to the reason of the twilight in the West of the sky. Karina's hair looked beautifully shiny in my current vision.

"Friends? Did you really say that, Lan? Once we both realize we're aaling like?" Karina asked with a voice that started to rise.

I looked back into Karina's eyes as I gave her an answer again.

"Yes and no" I replied ambiguously.

"You mean what the hell Lan? Your answer even confused you to know!" Karina Gerrutu.

The woman's mouth seemed to be pursed forward. And this tickled my hand to pinch her sultry lips.

'She's so adorable. ahh. no! I can't fall for Karina's charm!' again and again my mind reminds itself.

"I mean, yeah. We are friends as usual. And no. I don't like you, Rin. Did I ever tell you that, hm?" Ask me to lie.

When I said the lie. I tried to hold back eye contact between us. So that Karina could think that my words were actually true.

For a few seconds Karina stared at me fixedly with her intense gaze. And I feel the pain it makes.

After a long while, Karina suddenly just smiled faintly. It was so thin that I could barely even catch her smile.

"OKAY. So, you don't like me. That means I'm the only one who likes you, huh, Lan?" Karina asked again to confirm my answer.

I nodded stiffly, in response to her question.

"Then do you mind if I get close to you?" Karina asked in a carefree tone.

Meksi so, strangely I even feel my heart hurt. Especially when I caught the indifferent expression on his face at this moment.

With a firmness that began to waver, I forced my head back to nod stiffly. Before I finally give an explanation for my answer.

"Yes. I object," I'm obviously pretty short.

Karina took a step back. While looking at me.

Then he took two steps back. The distance between us is far away.

To be honest. My heart ached when I found Karina's attitude that began to distance me. But again and again I remind myself of this. That this is what should have happened. Karina and I obviously couldn't have a relationship more than just a friendship.

"Then." I heard Karina's voice say.

I focused my eyes again into his eyes. A pair of chocolate nata that I no longer find warmth in her.

I don't know where the warmth went. Though all this time I've been used to catching the warmth in his gaze to me.

"..in that case, we better not be friends!" Firmly Karina with a loud voice.

JDARR!

I'm surprised I'm not playing.

"A..what did you say, Rin?" Ask me a little bit.

"Yes. We don't have to be friends, Lan," Karina added with a firmness that I can't touch anymore.

"Why is that?" I heard my own voice asking the woman in front of me.

"Because I can't be friends with the guy I like, Lan. In the dictionary of my life, there are only yes and no answers. No but-but or half-and-half. If it is love, then I will love with all my love. And if my partner can't return my feelings.."

Karina hung her speech again.

"..then it would be better if I didn't know him at all. I think as good as it is, we're just like that. Isn't this what you want, Lan?" Karina asked, this time with a sad look.

I caught a wound in his twin bead. And it makes my heart ache. In that moment I regretted my words. If true the wound in Karina's eye was caused by the firmness of my principle to love the past (Laila).

"Yes.."

Only then did I want to speak, Karina's words following her had made me stay in place and unable to continue my speech anymore.

Karina first raised her palm to me. A sign that I will stop my speech.

I also obeyed and stopped talking. Until I heard those hurtful words coming out of her mouth.

"I hate to say this to you. But.. I didn't think you'd be this coward, Lan! You let me down!" Karina said, before turning around and running away from me.

I am alone where I stand right now.

Losing words. Loss of taste. Even now, I also have to lose the woman who started to make me fall back in love.

That's right the old poet said. That loving is not easy. But letting go of it is much less easy.

Like the love that I slowly turned to Karina without being noticed by my own heart.. Until I finally woke up and decided to end it early.

It's really not easy for me to do. It really isn't easy.

I don't think I'm gonna feel a broken heart anymore. After a long time I had a taste of it once, when I saw Laila pairing kaish with Kiyano before we had a relationship.

But it turns out, I was again made heartbroken the second time, by Karina's last words to me earlier.

That I had disappointed Karina. I was considered a coward in the eyes of that woman. And it seems, he has also started to hate me at this moment.

"Oh my God, why does everything have to be like this?" I regret to complain to the Owner of the Heart.

***