TELL LAURA I LOVE HER
HE WAS SILENT, WAS HE JEALOUS?
“Abang a message as usual? Or want another message?” laura asked when Syahrul came to their table and Laura was ordering the menu she wanted to eat. Of course Laura already memorized the usual menu Syahrul eat here. They have eaten together several times in this cafe.
“This time eat Abang samein ama your order only, only different in the drink. Cappuccino ice.”
“Abang do not look, behind Abang in number 1 there is Ilyas. Last time Brother ngelewatin, did not miss him,” Laura told the whereabouts of doctor ilyas on Syahrul.
“Abang 'not see. If you see for sure Brother said,” replied Syahrul. “So you now look at dong with him,” tease Syahrul.
“Ih, who's looking. He ‘kannya sit 'not facing me. But towards the side,” reply Laura.
“At least he glanced here continue ‘kan?”
“Au ah.” Laura and Syahrul eat in silence, even if they talk only about what they eat.
“Wah dating nih!” doctor Ilyas approached Laura's desk, which was still silent.
“Hai Yas, you're dating this time, I saw your partner. Have you finished eating?” shahrul asked as he turned around to look for ilyas' date.
“Not a date, I was eating alone then he approached,” ilyas tried to defend himself. He didn't want Laura to take the wrong step and it was getting harder and harder. “You even ‘kan the date,” accuse ilyas.
“I am from the gra-media looking for my son's book and hungry to eat, just parking koq met ama neng this beautiful, so I ask him to sit with me,” replied Syahrul casually. While Laura does not need to detail what her activities in Bandung, because everyone knows she has a boutique that she visits regularly.
‘He was quiet, was he jealous of Santi? Is he mad at me? If he's jealous, it means he loves me ‘kan?’ Ilyas looked at the silent Laura expressionlessly. “I first yes,” does not feel good to disturb, Ilyas immediately told Syahrul and Laura.
Laura put her spoon and fork in an inverted position indicating she had finished eating. Syahrul has been done since. “Please, What do you want to talk to?”
“What did you mean? ‘I'm afraid you're hoping too deep. I was afraid to let Nazwa down. I'm not ready yet, so I beg you to stay away’. please explain.”
Laura took a long breath. “It relates to Brother's statement and request, relating to Nazwa's wishes on his birthday two months ago. I am not ready to open my heart. Sorry,” said Laura explained what the sentence she said in the super market earlier.
“You said you weren't ready to open your heart. Can you hope that when you open your heart, you open it for you and your children? Or do you really not want to open my heart for me because I am a widower with two children who have ABG?” syahrul.
“Stop Bang, from the beginning I told you, I never cared about your double status. I don't mind. But honestly I do not intend to bond with anyone.”
A little while speechless, then Laura continued her sentence. “But I can't promise when the time comes I'll accept you right away. I don't know yet when suddenly God sends someone who can instantly get me into a more serious relationship with him. For sure, I don't want to commit at the moment. I ask permission to continue to have a relationship with Nazwa as his dialogue partner, as his confidant. But I won't promise to be what he wants me to be. That's what I'm gonna tell Nazwa the day after tomorrow. Because he and I made a pact after he was tutoring English.”
Syahrul was silent while fixedly looking at Laura's sweet face. “Intinya, you do not nolak Abang, but also have not received and do not promise will nerima Abang. It's ‘kan?”
“Abang don't push that. I'm confused,” complained Laura.
Laura's confused. With Ilyas he could immediately say, unable to accept. But with Syahrul he always hesitated ‘tuk refused. He was comfortable with this young man. He is also very fond of the eldest daughter Syahrul who is currently in the 1st grade Junior High at the age of 11 years. “If you have another view, please, I will not be angry, because I can not be in a relationship anymore. Don't be angry or disappointed. Honestly I'm comfortable with you, but I hesitate to step up. If you can't understand me, please do. For sure at this time I am not ready,” with a heavy heart Laura gives her opinion to Syahrul.
“Nyaman .. does that mean you love to Brother?” Syahrul put hope in Laura's words.
Laura was confused by Syahrul. ‘Do I love him? Is the comfort I feel a sign of my love? Is he able to fill the empty space that Tommy left behind?’
***
Nazwa and Laura met after the pre-teen girl finished her English lessons. They made an appointment at an ice cream shop close to the Nazwa les.
“It's done?” laura asked as Syahrul Salim's eldest daughter kissed the back of her hand.
“New Mom, Mommy has been waiting here for a long time?” ask Nazwa. Nazwa calls Laura Mommy after the babies in the parlour. Indeed, if Syahrul got time off school day duty, the doctor brought his two children to know many babies are not lucky compared to themselves.
“Not yet, even Mommy hasn't had time to order ice. What do you want? As usual serving jumbo flavored vanilla and strawberry? Or other flavors?”
“This time I want your vanilla and chocolate, and not the jumbo. Medium aja,” replied Nazwa.
While enjoying the ice cream they are engrossed in telling stories, rather Nazwa is busy telling stories and Laura is faithfully listening. Sometimes he makes comments. Laura is a listener. He didn't want Nazwa to feel like he had no friends to confide in.
“Mommy asked, you will always be like this huh? We will always meet and love each other even though Mommy does not become a real mommy like you want at your birthday party.” Laura told me they were going home and separated. Nazwa will return home with his driver who has been waiting in the car.
“Do Mommy not love Naz so do not want to accept Daddy?” Nazwa started sobbing.
“Mommy loves you. Love you so much. But not necessarily Mommy will accompany Daddy. So no matter what happens between Mommy and your Daddy, we'll still love each other like this. Whenever we want to meet, we can meet without caring about the status of Daddy later,” gently Laura explains the sentence to this unstable child. He hugged the teenager's body tightly and gave her a peck on his cheeks, forehead and the top of his head. Something Nazwa never got from his real mama. Since birth, the mother does not like to take care of her child.
“Promise?” nazwa asked to make sure.
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