Shaman Main
It's hard being me

Of course it is not easy to talk to Arka, about marriage is not the first or second time. And the result is still the same.

'Oh my God, it's hard to be me. Not that I could not think of breaking my relationship with Mas Arka, but I was afraid that no one else would be able to accept a virgin like me.'

Only complaining inwardly, half-heartedly aware that he wanted to get out of the circle of sin, but half of his heart could not refute Arka, fear and love! That taste is hard to digest. But it feels tired also when expecting and expecting the proposal Arka, even until now never heard it.

"Mother." he explained, I am sorry that Nur's mother is not only at this time but has been getting years of slurs and insinuations due to her relationship with Arka. In addition because it is a long and suspicious relationship, but also not equal according to them, not a few of the mothers say if Melati can do anything to get Arka. Do them! Lately Melati often listen, although stealing hear but occasionally Jasmine out by showing a beautiful and neat face when working or coming home from work. Not only amazed but even envied them all. What a village life all wrong, beautiful wrong, ugly wrong! Having a handsome lover and being wrong, not having a lover is considered unsellable. Occasionally Melati answered their chat with a soft tone namu firmly, but it is not easy to make them deterred, still the people nyinyir will have fun by gossiping himself.

I don't know why tonight Arka did not come, but this afternoon he had promised. Melati grabbed her cell phone.

'What is Arka?' message sent.

Before long Melati's phone rang, maybe lazy typing so Arka chose to call only.

"Hello Mas Ark!" answer soft jasmine.

"What is Mel doing?" ask Arka quickly.

"In Mas's room, just looking at the stars." Melati is looking at the stars.

"Sorry yes, Mas did not come because there is a family event at his sister's house" said Arka honestly, boisterous across there can be heard Melati.

"Yes, I'm also tired of wanting to rest."

"Rest, tomorrow I'll pick you up!" arka sounds sweet.

"Yes." Yeah." Melati replied with a smile and a peaceful heart. Yes, very peaceful to hear the soft and attentive speech of Arka, it feels so sweet, loving and friendly.

Melati smilingly stared at the screen that was dead, as quickly as her heart changed when she heard the voice of Arka she fell back in love, forgetting if she had just thought about getting married, she said, and hate relationships that never find the end point. But now it's gone all grumpy and upset.

...***...

"Mel, there's Ark outside!" shouted Mother Nur, that morning Mother Nur was also preparing to harvest chili in her vegetable garden.

"Yes Mom!" Jasmine came out with a milk-brown shirt and black jeans that looked fitting wrapped her body.

"You're beautiful Mel!" said Arka but did not look like it.

Melati just smiled and climbed onto the Arka motorbike, piggybacking only a few minutes it passed by silently.

"Is Arka Angry yesterday Mel?" ask Iyan slowly.

"No Mas, just a little sulking" Melati replied with a sweet smile.

"Thankfully, Mas was just worried that he was scolding you" Iyan said with a sweet smile.

"Why should I worry, Mas Iyan. Jasmine will be fine." her voice was soft but sounded like seducing.

"You really have to be okay Mel, Mas wants you to be okay and happy" said Iyan approaching Melati with a friendly look. Really this is the first time Melati saw a different attitude and made her heart unbecoming.

"I also want to always be happy Mas Iyan, but sometimes expectations do not match reality. It could be happy and okay it's just a dream for Melati" she said smiling but deep sadness.

"If you can make you happy? Is Melati ready?" tanya Iyan was slow, gentle and friendly. Ah again the attitude of the younger man from the Ark made Melati wrong.

"Deserving to be with you Mas, you know for yourself that I've been this bad." Melati looked down sad.

"No Mel! I seriously. If Arka doesn't have any intention of proposing to you, let me propose. We are married and far from all that is called sin." Iyan convinced Melati.

"I had no choice, he did, I did too. It's not fair that you're gonna take the rest, I'm just a secondhand you don't deserve to love." Melati really revealed everything she had in mind.

"The old stuff you call that, sometimes a lot in search and gilai, including me. I love you and accept you." said Iyan steadily.

Melati so confused himself, he must be happy or also disappointed. Of course happy because loved a good man like Iyan, but disappointed because Iyan could not make the first. It should be men like Iyan' who get the whole dish of Jasmine, but instead get the rest on the Arka plate. Melati really felt like trash, and realized how much a woman's crown meant. Yes, Melati felt very stupid for giving it to Arka.

"Think carefully Mel, if Arka proposes to you and you still love her then accept her and marry her. But if it doesn't? Please open your heart. We'll get out of here, come with me to build a household far from the past." Iyan again said that when they packed home in the afternoon. Of course Arka had come to pick me up, and Iyan relented.

"So Iyan said what Mel?" asked Arka after at home, he had seen Iyan approaching and said seriously.

"Tomorrow had to prepare Mas's credit file, many had asked quickly, and tomorrow the new motorcycle entered from the district" replied Melati answer about their work.

"Oh." replied Arka leaning.

Melati also sat leaning, tired and tired. But Arka certainly will not be silent, the man began his perverted activities, of course because of these two days he did not get rations from Melati.

"Mas, can't this one be put on hold first. We are not married and our sins are so many." whispered Melati trying to persuade when Arka's hand unzipped her jeans.