Player's Husband
andin's inner voice

I lost my real mama while still in need of affection.

Although mama Rista also loved me like her own daughter, but I was still awkward at first. There was shame and fear, I was confused how to behave to mama rista.

I try to adjust with my father's family, I try to love fandi and open myself to mama rista and thank God long time I can.

Mama Rista and gani's father turned out to be good people, fandi was also a good sister to me. In my heart I am grateful that Mama Rista will take care of me.

I never complained because mama Rista must be very tired because I have a baby, I want to ease her fatigue so when I go home from school as much as possible I invite fandi to play.

Good thing fandi is not a spoiled child, so I can fit in with him because mom and dad work. Mom always made time for us.

I'm really happy to be able to stay with mama rista and gani's father, they are busy people but still leave time for us.

I was in school with a friend, but his name was good to me and he was my best friend. I'm not a picky person, for me many friends like many brothers, so I'm happy to have many friends.

"Nus ..."

I hit my head on the ball, I stroked my head because it hurt.

"Sorry", my friend Rudy said.

"No papa, I said."

I was hit by a ball because it was a sport jam and the children were playing throwing balls in pairs.

"What about papa andin?" ask jasmine.

Ngk papa kok mel, yuuk there first.

Melati and I sat on the sidelines, and jasmine looked at my head.

" lucky not papa din your head is strong too yes," jasmine ledek to me.

We laughed together...

After school as usual I went straight to fandi's room,

" d've eaten yet" I asked.

"Not brother," fandi waiting for brother to eat, ngk delicious to eat alone said fandi

I invited fandi lunch and we ate, today my mom went to meet aunt reni because my mom had already told us.

Mama Rista is busy but always pay attention to us, for example like today, ngk can have lunch with mama has also said last night before we sleep.

I feel like there's something different about my mom and dad, I don't know if I feel like they're "angry". I just pretended not to know so they wouldn't be awkward in front of me.

Mama had been sleeping in the guest room for a long time and I saw them as usual if in front of us, I was wondering what was wrong with them. I wanted to ask but I paused and just pretended not to know was the right choice, "I guess."

the holidays have arrived and our family will vacation to Bali to the twin houses of Raka and rika

"I'm so happy for you"

Mama and dad left together tonight and we were with raka and rika, also aunt ayunda, we played Ps together and almira and rika played doll in the room.

Returning from Bali mama looks panicked after getting a phone call and hunted, said mbk ayu grandmother in the hospital.

I called jasmine and we talked because in Bali I did not call jasmine because jasmine also went to singapore, jasmine is going home tomorrow and I will meet with jasmine the next day at the jasmine house and I have permission with my mother to invite fandi later.

Tok...tok.mama entered my room tonight said mama there is oma and opa, I don't know if I still have another grandmother because I remember I lived in the old grandmother's house (buyut) with mama hani.

Said mama opa and oma who came to meet is mama hani's parents, I've been waited by them and I went down with mama exactly I'm in the back.

I was afraid of them but when I saw that they seemed good and they were hugging me in tears, I fell silent not knowing what to do.

Oma told me to stop by her house, I fell silent and thought it was the house where mama hani lived in the past. For sure I would love to see Mama Hani's room and I want to go there. Although I am afraid but curious about where mama hani grew up I want to feel the sense of where mama was in her youth first.

I haven't said what the same mama rista and mama have apologized about oma and opa, actually I don't blame them, I'm sure they definitely don't want to hurt my heart and have considered everything.

"One day I'm going to the house of oma and opa and being ushered in by mom and dad"

Today I met jasmine at her house, I played at her house with fandi of course and of course mama who delivered me because mama will also go to the boutique with almira.

I said if I come home later I will go home in a taxi if not delivered by a jasmine driver.

Arriving at the house jasmine I go to the jasmine room and fandi play with my sister rangga jasmine, because me and fandi often play at the house jasmine so we are familiar with the family jasmine. It just so happens that mama jasmine one of the mama's customers at the ALMIRA boutique.

I came home from the jasmine house in a taxi, while in the middle of the road on a red sign that stopped I saw my father with a woman next to him and my father driving alone not with ahmad sir.

Who is the woman who obviously I do not know him and I am still afraid later fandi look too, they chatted laugh and the woman also put her head on the shoulder of the father like a courtship person.

My heart feels something is strange about it, if the mama who did certainly not matter to me, but this other woman is not a mama aky so think about what did not happen.

I lay my body on the bed and remember the gani father I saw. I finally fell asleep and forgot that I had not taken a shower.

Pok... Someone woke me up sleeping, I saw my mom was already next to me. Mama smiled at me, " baby said you haven't had dinner yet" said Mama.

I nodded in affirmation and my mother gave me the milk she had brought me to drink, for it was already night I too did not eat because it was night and sleepy

Mama told me to brush my teeth and after that I will continue to sleep, I hugged my mom and said good night and I slept again.