Om That Possessive, MY HUSBAND!
SECRET

I never thought. My days will return accompanied by loneliness. By ourselves. Without expecting anyone to be able to accompany.

I read it sheet by book. But there is not a single sentence I can remember. Or even I understand what that means.

My mind is locked in a holding cell filled with all the things about Om Zidan. Why her? What's wrong with her? What am I wrong? Am I not as valuable as I used to be in his eyes? Does he not love me anymore? Or has he met a woman more than me?

All those questions kept spinning through my mind. I pulled the blanket, trying to forget how quiet the current atmosphere was.

I think after all the exams have passed. I will never be tested again. Turns out I was wrong. My patience is back tested. Even being tested, until when? Maybe until I can really be patient and never complain of being tired again.

My cell phone's ring broke this silence. I hurried to get it. I wish it was a call from my husband. And I was wrong again. Tenyata is not Om Zidan. But Mama.

I took a deep breath. Trying to throw away all the sad aura. I don't want Mama to be suspicious of me.

"Assalamu'alaikum, Ma?"

"Wa'alaikumussalam, darling. Mama misses you."

"Manda also misses Mama" I said moved.

"Where's the test today?"

"Alhamdulillah smoothly, Ma. What's your mom there? Everything is healthy, right, Ma?"

"Alhamdulillah. Healthy mom. Oh yea. Mama has some happy news for you...."

"Happy news? What's Ma doing?"

"Goddessa. We'll see you again tomorrow."

I smiled at Mama's words. "So, Mama want to come here?"

"He'em. I'd like to see both of Mama's children." I could feel there was such sincere affection from Mama's tone of speech. I can really feel it. Not just a show.

"So impatient, Ma!"

My smile returned. At least now there are people whose presence I can hope for. At least someone can accompany me. Not letting me be lonely like this. Although for now that person is not Om Zidan anymore.

I don't know anymore. How do I deal with Om Zidan. I was confused as to what to do with him. Should I be angry? Or should I give up again? Let him first finish all his work. Then listen to his explanation. Why is he always so cute with me?

I don't know, I don't want to think about it too much. It's my job to study now, so I can answer tomorrow's exam. Two more days. After that I can wait until my diploma so.

...----------------...

I smiled when I looked at my dinner menu. Favorite menu. But why does it feel so weird? This is because the menu is served at the wrong time. Served when I'm not with my favorite person?

Too bad. The menu as delicious as this becomes bland, tasteless just because Om Zidan is not present with me at this time. I stared at the empty chair in front of me. A chair Om Zidan can sit in.

"It's still busy? Until I have to overtime again tonight?" shirihku. My eyes fell on the plate in front of me. Even the contents of this plate never diminish. Except for one spoon I tasted earlier.

"Don't forget Prayer and dinner ya Sayang✨."

I don't know why, lately I started to feel lazy to get close or even provoke Om Zidan's emotions again. I'd rather just shut up and wait until when all this cuckoo drama ends. Or just stay quiet and shut up. Unless I speak is necessary.

I'm too tired of all this. But I don't want to give up either. I don't want any red words between us. I want to stay and fight for this marriage. Whatever risk. Whatever pain I will feel later. I'll keep holding on. I will stand tall to defend all of this.

...****************...

"Not come home?" I looked at the empty bed beside me. I quickly checked my phone. Who knows Om Zidan sent a message about why he didn't come home like this?

"empty?" I threw my HP in the bed. Annoyed that no messages came from Om Zidan.

"It's impossible not to go home, right? What the hell is he busy?!!" I kept grumbling while going down the stairs. Check if the car is on the front page or not?

"Alhamdulillah." I stroked my chest as soon as I saw my beloved car parked neatly in front of the house. With quick steps I went back up the stairs. Towards his study.

"Huh, here apparently!"

Slowly, I stepped closer to Om Zidan who fell asleep in front of the computer that was still on.

"It's too busy?" I rubbed her black hair that I had never touched for a long time.

My fingers came down touching her cheeks, nose and lips. Any anger. Whatever I regretted to him. But still. He is a winner in this heart.

My eyes ran to look at his HP. I hesitated to touch that flat object. Should I do this?

With a slow breath. I also took that flat object. Opening the cipher that was already outside his head.

"Sorry, dear." I opened WhatsApp first. It turned out that an incoming message from a contact in the name of 'Mandaku' was embedded there. Unopened. Underneath what message came in from Brother Henny. It's nothing important. Just a conversation where Om Zidan asked Brother Henny for help to pick me up. Just like that.

While one message that has been read from an unknown number, which managed to make me speechless.

"wedding ring? What's that supposed?" I stared fixedly at the photo of a pair of wedding rings sent by that person. I don't know if she's a woman or a man. Because the profile photo is only limited to a logo with the words D'N.

"Whose wedding ring? And with whom?" I put HP Om Zidan in the first place. Thats enough. I don't want to look any further. This will only lead to a bad prejudice about my husband. Instead, I asked him directly and asked him to be honest about all the things he had kept secret from me.

"I believe in you, my dear. So I beg you. Don't break my trust. I don't have anyone else I can trust besides you!" Once again I touched Om Zidan's cheek. Take off the jacket I put on to cover her body.

"Good night!"

I closed the door to his study. Along with my tears that suddenly dripped. I don't know what else to say? What should I act like? But if the fact is that there is someone else among us. Then with great honor I will thank Om Zidan. For all the destruction he has given.

"Yes Allah. Servant surrender to You. Truly, You know better what is best for Your Servant."

I couldn't sleep after that. Until the morning prayer was heard and Om Zidan went into the room.