I'm Not an Old Virgin
Season II: Mahligai of Love (Chapter 6.2)
Be ill,
It's very painful. I knew that one day I would hear this good news, but I did not expect that this news would come to me very soon.
Stabbed all my wishful thinking and burned it without the slightest remnant.
So, I have no hope anymore. The man I've loved for 12 years is already in love with another girl. A girl who was much more perfect than me and much prettier than me.
What do you think Ai?
Just because you meet him often makes you think that Ustad Vano also has feelings for you, O Allah Ai. wake up and do not dream!
Look at you all right!
You were born disabled, Ai! You are not as perfect as other women!
You should realize how inappropriate you are with Ustad Vano so wake up and stop dreaming!
"Are you okay, Ai?"
Not good, I'm not really okay.
My heart hurts, God, it hurts!
"Alhamdulillah, I'm fine Brother." I lie.
"It's good if you're not sick. The next time I see you bothering Ustad Vano, I won't hesitate to embarrass you in front of so many people! Almaira is Mr. Kyai's daughter and a role model for us santriwati too, so I beg Ai. never try to disturb Ustad Vano if you don't want to be hated by all the lodge children!" Frida warned me very seriously.
Almaira, Mr. Kyai's daughter and definitely loved by everyone here. Hah, now I understand why Brother Frida is always upset when I see me.
It turns out that it was for this reason. It was because of Almaira that many people liked.
"Silver, just calm down because I'll never bother Ustad Vano again."
Never, O God, will I ever again keep hope in him.
I will stay away from him, O God.
I'll keep my distance from him, I promise.
"Well, hold your word today. If one day you deny it then you should get ready to be ostracized by everyone!"
"Don't be like that, Frida. We can-"
"No, it's a serious matter."
Brother Tiara smiled faintly, "Alright, you're right."
"Ai, we didn't mean to threaten you because this is the real reality. Ustad Vano and Almaira are already betrothed-"
"This year they're going to do it"
Don't point that knife at me again.
"Marriage this year after Ramadan later-"
Because it really hurts!
"So we hope for a while you have to keep your distance to avoid slander."
This is really sick, God!
"I understand, Brother." Ironically, even while enduring pain like this, I was forced to keep smiling.
"Thank God if you understand. All right, we won't bother you anymore. Please continue your work."
They then left me. Now I'm alone here and should be able to cry to spill my pain. But look now, I don't understand why I didn't cry?
I don't understand why I'm not yelling hysterically for the disappointment I'm feeling right now.
I do not understand God.
"Yes, bring it all-in"
Ustad Vano came here again. He seemed to be very serious about arranging for the male students to gather all the vegetables picked.
Look at that handsome face, both of his sharp and black eyebrows frowned in the sunlight. Her cold eyes are now focused
It's Ai, it's time for you to stop.
Stop expecting something that is far away and unachievable. Stop expecting something that someone else already has. And stop expecting the heart that other girls already occupy.
The guy I love is actually loving another girl.
Suddenly she turned her face to look at me, maybe she felt my disgusting gaze and I knew she must be distracted.
"I have to go back." I turned around, lifting my vegetable basket not wanting to stay here any longer.
Slowly, I brought my footsteps closer to Mega and Asri who had also finished their sentence.
My feet.it feels so limp. Maybe because I was standing in the sun for too long because my head also felt a bit dizzy. But I am still strong, I can still stand straight and walk straight.
I am not weak!
I was born disabled but that does not mean weak. I am strong, God created me with a strong heart.
I can definitely go through it all!