TURMOIL AT A YOUNG AGE
DEPRESSIVE DIARY

At two o'clock in the afternoon Ilalang seemed to be walking towards his motorbike which was in the school parking lot. The lesson had just finished, he wanted to go home soon or anywhere.

She couldn't stand everyone's gaze on her at school. The son of a prostitute*r! He was furious to remember what some people had said to him.

Actually living at home also can not make his heart comfortable. He had to see his mother at home. I don't know where he should go. The world seems to be hostile to him now.

"Lang, you want to go home?"

The voice of a girl made Ilalang a little shocked. Micah. What else does the girl want? Ilalang just fell silent without even turning to the girl who was standing behind him.

Micah smiled faintly. Although Ilalang had often hurt his heart, but he could not hate the young man.

Ilalang's cold attitude is a challenge for him to melt the heart of his puja youth. Micah immediately walked up and stood before Ilalang. He smiled faintly looking at the handsome face before him now. He was very anxious to see it.

"Lo gapain?" Ilalang asked with a cynical face to Micah.

He thinks the girls just make it a hassle. He never even thought of having a girlfriend like the other boys.

"Lang, can I not come home with you? I haven't been picked up yet" Micah replied with a reddish-tinted cheek. He then turned his face away while smiling as Ilalang looked at him deeply.

"Can't!" he answered, immediately turning his face away from Micah. He immediately got on his big bike and passed. To hell with Micah who looked very disappointed in his attitude.

"I love you, Lang." Micah rubbed both of his cheeks. He could not forget Ilalang even though the young man had always hurt his heart with his cold demeanor.

Meanwhile, Ilalang still drove his motorbike at high speed. He doesn't know where to go. Even in his pocket there was no money. As for going home it felt like he was very lazy to see his mother at home.

"Wis, Ilin. Just nongol again lo, Bro!" welcome Dani, the owner of a gaming venue located on Tamrin street.

In the past, almost every day Ilalang always come to that place. But for almost five months he hadn't seen her. Now the young man came back to his place. Of course he's very happy.

"Gue here is not for playing games, but for sleeping," said Ilalang as he walked past Dani. He then threw his backpack on a long bench that was there. The tares are curled up.

Dani shook her head looking at Ilalang. Whys? What's the matter? It looked very different this time. The young man looked disheveled and his face was also pale. Is he sick? Dani immediately approached Ilalang.

"Lang, are you sick?" dani asked while shaking the shoulder of Ilalang who was curled up on the bench.

"Gue is fine. Tingalin me alone," Ilinang replied as she brushed Dani's hand off her shoulder. Maybe Dani hasn't heard the latest news about him. He clenched his body which was starting to feel cold.

"Okay, but you're fine, right?" Dani looked anxiously at Ilalang.

Ilalang just flicked his hand to tell Dani to leave. He wants to be alone. The young man older than him by two years would only make him feel uncomfortable if he was still standing next to him.

"okay."

Dani intends to leave. But then Yuda and some of his friends came. They laughed crisply looking at Ilalang who was curled up on the bench. Dani looked astonished to see the behavior of Yuda and some of his friends.

"Hey, Dan! The Wild Grass is now working! He can play games here! That's why he's curled up there!" Yuda laughed so contentedly with all his friends.

Dani just fell silent. That's none of his business. While Ilalang also did not want to serve the ravings of Judah. He remained curled up while closing his eyes. It looks like his body is having flu symptoms right now. He felt very weak.

"You want to play, play! Don't be noisy!" Dani said with his baritone voice. Yuda and all his friends do like to rest and act as they please.

"And, just so you know, yeah! The Ilalang is now l**te! Open bo also him! You can do it, if you want to learn the same as the experience!" Yuda returned to roar as he pleased. He deliberately wanted to provoke the emotions of the Ilyang.

Ilyang just clenched his handbooks. I want him to beat up Yuda right now. But his body felt very weak now. Dani was very surprised to hear that.

She had met her mother Ilalang when she caught up with Ilalang at her gaming venue a few months ago. Her mother Ilalang was young and very beautiful, Dani smiled slantedly then.

"Based on lo**e's son! Not to be ashamed! Get the fuck out of here! Rubbish!" Yuda still likes to provoke the emotions of Ilalang.

He was furious at the young man who was still curled up on the bench. He and all his friends kept on spouting obscenities about his mother Ilalang. They even laughed out loud.

"Damn it!" The tares that had been ignited by emotion immediately rose from the bench. He then went forward and immediately gripped the jaws of Judah with a look of wanting to kill him.

"What lo? Prostitution's son*r!" Yuda was still roaring while trying to release Ilalang's hand from him.

While Dani and all her friends just look at each other and do not dare to help Judah. They are afraid of being hit by the target of Ilalang's anger.

"Once again you talk bad about my Nyokap, I'll tear your mouth rotten this. Know lo!" Ilalang let go of Yuda violently. He immediately left the place.

Yuda who fell down was immediately helped by some of his friends. He held his jaw which was painful due to Ilalang.

"Basic Fucking Wild Grass!" Yuda tried to get up helped by some of his friends. He looked at the back of Ilalang who had already moved away from him.

The gutter who was in a frenzy finally decided to go to the mall. Maybe there he'll be a little amused, he thought. But when he arrived at the mall, he still felt lonely.

His pair of eyes looked at the passing of the person who was milling before him.

Then he saw a boy his age walking with his parents. They seem very happy.

Ilalang's blood rippled. He remembered a long time ago when he also came to this mall with his father and mother.

Ilalang closed his eyes, then he turned them away while wiping a small dot on the corner of his eye that almost fell. No, it's just the past. He can't remember it anymore.

Time shows at eight o'clock. Surely Karina was waiting for him to come home, Ilalang thought while standing on the edge of the mall roof. Because he did not feel calm, he finally decided to go up to the last floor of the mall.

Ah, naw. Karina must be in Madam Siska's bar or in a hotel room serving the wild lust of the man who bocked her.

Ilalang began to think badly of his mother, who was actually waiting for him to come home feeling anxious.

Ilyang doesn't want to go home tonight. His heart was in a complicated dilemma. How long should he live like this? Disdained by everyone because of his mother's profession.

Is he killing himself now? Maybe death was the only way to calm him down.

Yeah, he better end this disgusting life.

Ilalang also climbed the waist wall which became the border of the floor. He stood there feeling desperate. The night wind caressed his face. The coldness he felt, was like his heart was hollow at this moment.

Ilalang closed his eyes. He was ready to jump down there. The height of the mall is almost 30 meters. It's certain he'll die if he dove now.

A glance of his mother's face flashed through his mind. But Ilalang immediately dismissed it. Fuck all that. He just wants to die now. He was ready to jump.

"Hey!"

Suddenly, two hands pulled her arm. The shocked tares almost fell down. But both hands pulled him until he fell back on the floor and fell on the person behind him.

"Yeah!"

Ilyang was very surprised because he hit a girl of Micah's age. That girl is so pretty. Who her? The girl and the girl looked at each other.