Khadija
Regret Jihan.

66. Regret Jehan

The day that Jihan came face to face with Blue, was the most relieving day. He never afterwards recounted the ugliness of himself, never plainly admitting the mistake he had made. And that day, it was the first time that Jihan had talked so much with her son.

“Mama knows even if mama prostrates will not erase the sins of mama, Bi. Whatever you do will not restore the situation as it was.”

“Mama don't need to apologize to me.” replied Blue flat.

“How can you say it's like that, Bi. My mom has really disappointed you. You know all the consequences of what you do, but still do it for money, job title, and cover your life that has been damaged since the beginning. You're not wrong even if you're not sorry, Bi. It's appropriate mama hated you.” said Jihan.

Blue nodded slowly, “I was indeed disappointed with mama, maybe my expectations are the same mama excessive. But mama doesn't need to apologize to me, even if it's slow like a snail, slowly I will definitely escape this. But, mama must apologize same Mama Nja, same wife Blue, same Barid also.”

“Definitely. If mama is given the opportunity to meet Dusk, Khadijah, Barid, mama will ask them, Bi. But for today, mama just want you to forgive mama,” said Jihan bowed, “although mama knows heavy for you, although mama does not deserve to be sorry from you. Again, allow selfish mama --”

Jihan's speech was cut off when her body was suddenly grabbed by Blue who was already standing half-body in front of her. Jihan glazed over, she couldn't go on with her words. All he could do at a time like that was just return Blue's embrace tighter. Shedding the tears of regret and happiness that came at one time.

This was also the first thing for Jihan. Hugging the sturdy body of a child that only he gave birth to without taking care of it in the least. His sense of regret was growing more nurturing, but behind it Jihan was also very grateful. Grateful for Blue falling into the right hands, he could not imagine what Blue would be like to live with him.

Jihan parted ways with Blue in the holding room. Because he will be taken to a female rutan, and may only be able to meet again at the trial or a re-creation of the crime that will soon be done.

A few days after her encounter with Blue, Jihan gets a guest at the women's detention house. It turned out that the person who met him that early was Dusk, as well as his son-in-law Khadijah. He could barely even open his mouth seeing the two shady-faced women approaching him by commenting on his sincere smile.

“Teh Jihan ...,” Dusk slammed into her embrace. patting her softly on the back while whispering, “don't cry,” said twilight made Jihan's shoulders more shaken.

Jihan's body slumped, and quickly hugged the legs of Dusk, “maafin me, Nja .. sorryin me.”

Dusk pulls his wrist, “teteh don't gini. Wake up, tea.”

“I've been mean to you, Nja. From the past I always made you suffer, I bo doh, I am evil, I nyesel, Nja.”

Dusk lead him back to sit in a chair, “alhamdulillah if you regret doing something that harmed many others. I hope you can take wisdom from all this.”

“I'm really sorry, Nja. If I could, I would if I had to replace Blue. Let me be in prison, for it is all my fault, let me bear the consequences of my actions.”

Jihan turned to look at Kha who apparently had Istiqomah wearing a veil. Last met with Kha when he came to bring Jecin to the Blue photo studio, there Kha was already wearing a veil that covered part of her face.

Kha reached into the sling bang that was wearing, took out a black and white photo and gave it to Jihan, “ini .. future grandchild mama.” Kha said it with a trembling voice.

“Kha ... ka—you're pregnant?” jihan and Kha asked.

Jihan inhaled and exhaled while crying, until it felt nauseous because it was too tight in the chest. Kha was pregnant, and because of her greed she had to separate from Blue. Apologizing from Blue and Dusk was very painful, he wanted to be reflected, maki, swear even at the beat so that his guilt was reduced. Then now, as she comes to a more bitter reality, Jihan realizes that there is no one she does not make to suffer at this time.

“aaakhhh ... Kha, mommy should how?” ringis Jihan's. He rubbed his face rough, then pulled his own hair as tight as possible.

“Bang sat! I am bo doh! I should have died! I should have been in jail!” yell Jihan.

“Stop, Tea! You can't believe it!” sentak Dusk.

“Kill me, Nja! I don't deserve to live, what kind of parents I am, Nja ...”

“Mama ...”

Jihan wanted to grab Kha's hand, but her body suddenly warped and felt her head throbbing violently. His gaze was blurry and his ears were ringing loudly, in the next second Jihan was unconscious.

Jihan did not know what happened to her, when she opened her eyes all she saw was the narrow health room that she had visited the last few days. Yeah, the health room at the women's detention house.

Jihan sobbing. Not knowing what to do, all he did now was cry, regret his actions, and lament the fate of Kha who is now two-bodied without a husband. His body was still staggering as he forced himself up from the bed. Then an officer came to bring a brown pepper bag.

“This is a deposit from your guest who was.” said the officer.

Jihan slowly opened the parcel. He published 2 books by famous novelists. From the cover he read a book called ‘GOODBYE’ and ‘GOOD HABITS BAD HABITS’. On top of the book was attached a photo of USG that was given by Kha. Also some lunch boxes contain home cooking.

‘redeem all the mistakes you have made by turning into a good mother and grandmother-to-be, use the time in there as contemplation. May we meet again in a state of already being people who deserve to be made a role model by our posterity later.’ - SENJA.

‘ma .. hopefully mama healthy continue to pray mas Biru and future grandchildren mama, after free later, after free, Kha hope mama can dedicate all the time and affection of mama to the granddaughter of mama’ - KHA.

Jihan came back crying reading the two sheets of paper that were pasted in each of the – lunch boxes. He nodded his head muttering, “Iya .. I promise to improve myself, I will repent and learn to be a good person for all of you.”