Finding You, Again
Eluira 9 - Torn

"I beg you to open up. Get me out of here, let me go" he muttered repeatedly.

His hand, which already had no energy to bang or knock, now just moved slowly stroking the door. His body no longer had the desire to move.

Only a moaning whisper is sometimes still heard from him, a whisper that will only be heard by the wind.

Without any answer.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"You look great" Oscar said as he kissed me on the cheek.

We have not met for 2 weeks.

After almost two months of pacing between London and New York, he finally gave up and chose to stay there for 2 weeks. But now it is finished he said a few days ago.

You probably thought that after a 2-week business trip, Oscar would come home and take a few days off.

But no!!

Even before he came home, he went to the office. Just to meet her after two weeks, I had to take her to lunch together in my room. He refused when I asked him to eat out, a waste of time, he said.

Basic workaholic!

"What do you order?" ask her to Jovi, who just entered the room.

"Thai food, Mr. Delmora" Jovi replied politely.

I was still amazed by Jovi's ability in this matter, how he could easily take turns being official to Oscar, and being casual towards me.

"Good-I'm eating a lot of seafood. I'm tired of steak" Oscar said as he yawned from exhaustion.

"Ck. You should rest and go home first" Her tired face, was truly pitiful.

Oscar just shook his hand, as if to say, if I don't have to worry. He then laid himself down on the sofa of his seat, and without waiting for long, his breathing began to settle down. I can only shake my head when I see it.

One of Oscar's other advantages is that he will be very easy to fall asleep if he is very tired. As long as he was in a lying position, then there would be no need to count to ten, he would fall into a deep sleep.

Almost similar to me, but there is a difference. If my mind was in a state of confusion, I would definitely need a lot of rituals and daydreams before going to bed, but if I was calm and relieved, I would more or less be the same as Oscar, she said, fall asleep as soon as you touch the pillow.

But with my strange state of mind lately, I almost never miss a night without restless daydreaming.

I got out of my chair and walked out to the bathroom.

"You're going to eat with us, right?" I asked Jovi. "Eh. but.." He stopped answering and his eyes fell on Oscar who was snoring softly. He must be very tired.

"It's okay" I said.

I don't think Oscar would mind either. His attitude towards Jovi has also begun to relax - - he can even comfortably sleep when Jovi is still there -, not as cold as to other women. Maybe because Jovi and I are familiar, there is no way he will always be stiff and cold to Jovi.

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Returning from the bathroom, I saw that our ordered food had arrived, Oscar had also gotten up and sat up while tousling his hair to ward off drowsiness. While Jovi was standing with an awkward demeanor and slightly flushed face.

"You why?" my question to Jovi was immediately answered with a headband that I think is a bit too excited.

I frowned, not believing that reason. When I wanted to ask again, Oscar had already cut in.

"Let's eat, I have another 1.5-hour meeting" he said, glancing at his watch.

"You're crazy!!" my word.

"Obviously you're tired and jetlagged" Her face doesn't look better than it did before she went to bed. Stay handsome indeed, even with dark circles in the eyes, but a tired face is not a nice sight to see.

"It's not a big deal, Lui. I'll go home with you and sleep a long time at home, Toni's been emptying my schedule until tomorrow" Toni is his secretary.

"He should be emptying the schedule for the next three days, so you can rest. Not just until tomorrow" I'm upset.

I sat down in front of him and grabbed some food. I saw Jovi standing awkwardly by the door.

"Sit down and eat" Oscar said, as if reading my mind.

"Belright Mr. Delmora" said she somewhat stuttered as she walked over and sat down next to me. What's wrong with her?

"How's your relationship with Zeno?" asked Oscar, suddenly asking me something I didn't want to think about.

To be honest, I don't know what to answer. In the past two months or so, Zeno and I have dated about 3 times - impossible to do too often, he's a busy-actor.

We watched musical plays, had picnics together in the park, even went to the museum - although we both sucked at art - just to avoid the scorching sun --\,-- although we both sucked at the same time.

And everything is perfect and fun. I can even let him hold my hand while walking. It is difficult indeed, because I still have to fight with the desire to always brush it off.

But---whether why every attention and praise I received from him, still makes me feel like a criminal caught off guard.

On the other hand, I also really enjoyed his little attention to me. He often sends small messages just asking me what my dinner menu is, good morning, good night, etc.

Ohh--- how much I want to receive all his attention with a light heart and flowers. Not with a heart that is getting heavier.

"We're fine" I replied after a moment of silence.

"Are you couple now?" ask Oscar again.

"I won't answer that, because it's none of your business"

Maybe a little rough, but I really don't want to discuss that with Oscar, not now.

The vibrations from my phone cut off I don't know what Oscar would say. I saw the number that appeared on the phone screen, it was not listed there, because it was in private.

"Hello?"

"Bee?.." a hoarse and heavy voice more like a mutter, saying from there.

"Who is this?. Sorry but I can't hear you clearly. Hello?"

"Honey Bee?" Said that voice again.

"You looking for Honey Bee? I think you're wrong Mr. There's no one named Honey Bee here" I continued.

Who is Honey Bee? my inner. I have no acquaintance who would call me Honey Bee. That word is a little exaggerated.

Tutt..tuttt..tutt!!!!.

He just cut the connection.

You are not polite!! Can't he apologize, after interrupting someone else's lunch.

"Misconnect?" ask Jovi. "Yes, he's not apologizing for it either" I grumbled.

I looked at Oscar who had stopped eating, and then realized that his countenance had turned deathly pale and his eyes widened.

"What's wrong?" I'm just worried, he looks like he's going to have a heart attack.

"Are you sick? Oscar!!" I raised the volume of the sound, because from earlier Oscar remained sculpted, not responding at all.

I finally managed to grab Oscar's attention, after I stroked his hand. He blinked his eyes many times.

"I must go" Oscar rose to the door, leaving behind his food, which had not been halved.

"Wait a minute" prevent me while holding his hand to stay seated.

"You've seen Oscar's ghost, your face is pale, and you haven't even finished eating" I said.

He doesn't look all right.

A smile had to form on his lips. "I'm fine, don't worry okay? But I really have to go"

He took off the hair at the top of my head, then he let go of my hand and moved away from the room.

She must be unwell, I've never seen her face as pale as that. "I think he's a bit unwell" said Jovi voicing my thoughts appropriately.

"I'll take her home later in the afternoon, even if it means I'm gonna drag her out of the office "my resolve.

Jovi chuckles amusedly hearing it. "Oh. I'd love to see when that happens, it'll be exciting" ,

"Are you going to date Zeno again this Saturday?" ask Jovi.

"Yes." I replied, breathing deeply.

"You don't look happy--do you better stop accepting his invitation ?" .

"I can't" I replied with a sigh.

"He's been so sweet to me". I muffled the emotions that were ready to explode by covering my face with both hands.

"You shouldn't accept her date just because you feel sorry for her Lui, it's cruel for her" Jovi said in a stern tone.

"I know that, but part of me also wants to meet Jovi, I miss those green eyes. But when I met him, I always felt like I had made the wrong decision" I said, almost whispering.

"You---- really confused Lui, you wanted to meet her, but after meeting her you felt that it was wrong?" he raised both his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes, that's what happened"

"Yes God... You have one amazingly twisted mind, I don't know what else to say to you" There was a desperate tone in her voice.

"No need, I'm fine" I said. What right do I have to bring him to a late confusion? I'm so grateful that someone would listen to that senseless chatter.

Finally, as she pushed herself forward, Jovi walked out of the room, carrying our lunch trash.

I hope that a new batch of proposals that Jovi delivered before lunch will be able to get me distracted from unpleasant thoughts.

There are 12 new proposals today. I'd better check it out now if I want to bring Oscar home sooner.