Belife Span
Haze: part 1
For five years our marriage has been going on, for five years we have lived under the same roof protection, for five years we shared a room and shared a pillow, we have lived five years. However, it has been five years that our relationship now feels empty without a baby. Though both of our parents, people himself and myself continue to urge to immediately have a baby. But he can't.
At the usual family meeting once a month or so usually, now my wife does not come, tired he said. At first the family meeting was warm and unhindered, but all that changed when my parents alluded to the birth of my brother's newborn son yesterday from his 2-year marriage and it ignited a fire that shouldn't have lit.
As expected again both of our parents forced to rush to have a baby. What I considered by them, I am a child manufacturer that can produce children that easily then there is no need to marry one woman living as long as a skewer can produce, then there is no need to marry one woman, the child exists to improve a generation not just to be expelled and force it to face a harsh world. If I could say so directly to the brand, but it's useless anyway they won't understand. I could only give a small nod as I lowered my head down as long as they rambled on this
Fighting their opinions only results in no bull shit, no reason will ever be subverted. Being aggravated by the marriage of my sister who has just walked two years and already has a baby makes my position even more desperate.
Moreover, he who seems indifferent to this problem, his work just goes here and there, shopping this it, sleeping, eating, and defecating. I'm the only one who really works desperately.
I don't know, that night somehow my emotions soared to the sky, spilling everything in my brain, spilling everything I felt so that they also knew this is how I am now. Let the master know how his son is.
Big brother from childhood lived in indulgence, but I was a child filled with violence and injustice. He from Junior High School had a girlfriend was never banned, I dated when High School was bullied, what do you want to be in the future, he said. At that time I thought that they had never seen glass. The turn of marriage was forced to have a baby, but my brother was not even told not to have children first in order to rest more and pursue dreams first, yes it is not necessary to get married. But as usual, I can't say chirps.
It was supposed to be a typical Tuesday night where we and our family discussed each other's problems, but the night turned bloody. Blood here and there is dirtying every corner. My white shirt is now red, my knifes are dirty with blood. I don't know, I couldn't think clearly at that time like this dirty hand.
The buttocks were again propped up on the soft sofa as they looked at the seven people lying helplessly, blindfolded to the eternal, blindfolded not to look back at tomorrow. Not closed, but it is not working maybe only the blood is still alive because they keep lunging away from the body through the wounds of a sharp knife, he said, which I've sharpened to be sharp from morning to tonight. What a beautiful night, under the red full moon, the red blood also came out to see the beautiful moon.
For several hours, the wife had not gone down as if the screams had not passed through her eardrum. It was as if this spreading stench did not follow the drizzle on his nose. As if their existence meant nothing to him. So he didn't go downstairs.
Nights ... The night was covered in darkness and covered in wind, here I stood frustrated with the knife in my hand covered in blood, so did I.
I'd better go take a bath first at night, cold water prepared in a bath tub with soap filling. I put my body in it. Cleaning every part of the body affected by blood from the body to the feet, no one missed one of them. Clean it carefully and many times until it feels clean.
Then go back to the living room to pick up used ironed clothes that are usually stored near the sofa. Good thing my clothes were not splashed with blood, if exposed to the slightest I might send them a continuous judgment. After that, I went to go upstairs to meet my stupid wife.
One by one step raised up the stairs slowly, it was not good night noisy. Knives don't need to be carried, even though she's my stupid wife, I still love her. The wooden door I opened revealed his sleeping figure helplessly covered in a warm white cloth with ear-hole coverings, as if he knew the scream. But close your ears not to interfere. It means he knows.
All right then, I'm approaching him. Dabbed her sweet face while silent, but hated when she spoke. His figure squirms as I continue to touch him maybe soon he will wake up. His eyes were forced to open. Of course, it is difficult that he has also slept for a long time. Must be lazy to wake up especially in the middle of the night
He realized his face was confused, maybe in his mind thinking about the reason I was trying to wake him up or maybe not.
“Here is family done?” Ask in a voice that still does not have many souls
“Already from earlier, they have also gone to sleep” I said. Sleep in eternity, that is.
“How?”
“As usual they keep talking about the same thing.”
“Sorry yes, I even troubled you and even slept first. For some reason, today is very tired as if my bodies will be dislodged.”
He smiled as he said such a simple thing. He thought maybe I wasn't tired either. Tired of working and thinking about this. And he was tired of what.
“Come sleep already night.” Invite him with a soft voice
This time I will obey his orders again. Sleeping on the same pillow is great. A large white blanket warmed our bodies.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked expectantly
“Ask what?”
“Are you going to be with me until the end?”
“Of course.”
With this I can sleep soundly without any problems accumulating in the head. Tomorrow is no longer for them, which means there will be no more burden for me. There is no source of stress for me. Because they are in eternity.
In the morning of the next day when I opened my eyes awakened by the light of the sun, the figure of him was gone from view. I panicked because of it, looking everywhere for him. But nothing, after directly rushing downstairs to check out the seven immortal sleepers. It turned out that he was there near the seven people sitting. Is she crying so happy? Or is he sad?
Hahaha that's impossible, because I know he knows all this. She may be saddened by the death of someone she hates. Thought.
My worries proved to be true, he was sad not dumbass. Her small hands started to lash out at my body and tears were unceasingly coming down. He bit me many times too. While I stood there unmoved not understanding what was happening.
“What have you done?” He said while continuing to hit me
“I send them to eternity and their bodies will soon be picked up by caterpillars. Isn't this what you want? Wouldn't there be no more distractions in our relationship? Not that with this we can live quietly without coercion anymore?”
“But this is not how”
I don't get it.
“Please yourself first, don't hit me constantly. Pain know!” I replied in a joking tone, even though the punch was not felt at all
I grabbed his shoulder that had been shaking violently trying to win his heart that seemed to have collapsed from the beginning. I took him to sit on the couch with their corpses lying down.
He kept his mouth shut with his hands, perhaps holding back the disgust that was within him. It's just natural, I thought. I knelt down, under my knees was my brother who was already sleeping. It was only realized now that the room for this sofa is very narrow. Maybe I should decorate it.
Back at his figure who was unceasingly crying.
“Already, just let it go. Later they will be calm in nature there.”
“You!” His touch surprised me
“Still be able to talk so after killing everything.”
I was angry, I didn't understand anymore.
“Ya already you want how?”
“There's nothing to do anymore, they won't come back.”
“Do you know why you still cry?”
She did not answer continuing her cries louder. Fortunately, this house was far from the neighbors, there was no way anyone would come here. I don't know, Grandpa made this big house. Perhaps the goal is the same, that is, not to disturb or disturb other neighbors.
A long time had passed, finally she was at the end of her tears. He wiped away the tears that fell one or two from the eye. His body was not shaking too much either.
“We play hide umpet yuk!”
Invite him suddenly with a smile that scratches his face
“Means?”
“When our courtship time first, instead of us often messing around like this? What's wrong if you play again. The weather is also supportive, and also morning exercise to warm up.”
I don't get it. Though he was crying so much, eh now even smile so. I don't get it. When he cries, it will be difficult to heal. But, this was too soon it felt like he had risen from the slump. I don't get it. He was angry with me but now he invites me to play together. I don't get it...
Is it possible that there are shrimp behind the rock, if that is so I have to reject this game. But, if I refuse it. Then I'll hurt her heart again. Though he has been hard to invite me to play, then I have to accept the game.