Admiral's Secret
013

Raskal had just arrived home when the sky dimmed. Raskal came home late at night. Remembering today will be the beginning of his misery for the umpteenth time.

"Rabby,"

Just as Raskal was heading towards his room upstairs, someone managed to hold him off.

"You just got home, deck?"

Raskal had to look. Not nothing Raskal looked at him carelessly at the figure he wanted to avoid today and in the next few days.

In contrast to Raskal who looked at him dislike, Sandi smiled smilingly staring at her beloved sister. It has been a long time since they met. Even exchanging news. More precisely Kak Sandi always gave him news every day through short messages, but Raskal never had time to just read the message.

Raskal has long marked this day, the day that Brother who is most loved by the Sastrawijaya family returned home. Come with all the achievements obtained. And came with a new wound that soon piled up in Raskal's heart. 

"Bi Yumi said, you're home from school at three in the afternoon. It's six o'clock. Where are you from, deck?"

Raskal did not answer. He didn't want to, and he didn't want to respond. The question is only Raskal consider the wind then just passing. Wanting to turn towards his room to avoid the older figure, instead Kak Sandi pulled Raskal's hand. Raskal sontak brushed off Kak Sandi's handle.

"Sir, eat together with Brother and Dad yuk. Bawain Ayam Betutu from Brother's friend. Brother Friend just opened the Resto at a crossroads near Soto Mommy subscriptions, you still remember? It tastes really good. You have to try."

Raskal did not understand whether his brother was pretending to forget or intentionally. Betutu chicken is spicy, Raskal can not eat spicy.

Intentionally or not, Raskal did not care anymore.

Raskal was about to turn around again but was blocked again.

"Sir, eat first new to the room huh. Brother miss you, you don't miss brother? Oh yeah-sister also bring you souvenirs. Brother bring you lego, you like lego, right? Bawain sister much. Wanna take a look around here, just for a second. Brother wants to talk to you a lot. Oh yeah-remember the same sister Shena? Sister Shena send greetings to you."

Before Raskal interrupted the conversation, the main figure he had avoided appeared out of nowhere. What Raskal saw, the figure was like an invisible ghost. It suddenly disturbs the view of Raskal.

"Not to be forced if the child does not want to eat. Let's just let him."

The figure of Dad who should be respected was not visible to the figure of the old man in front of Raskal. His style was sharp, pulled the dining chair hard and then sat down to look at the food that Bi Yumi had served before.

"Come, Sandi. Dad's hungry already. I also want to hear about your achievements in the Aussie. Said you just got invited to the Aussie embassy for winning two games in a row."

"Take Raskal, too, Dad. We'll talk together." Persuade Kak Sandi with a sad look.

"Dad wants to eat with Daddy's favorite son."

"Raskal is also my favorite."

Hearing that, Dad was grieving. "Dad just wants to eat with Sandi. Father's favorite son, the only one."

Father's suppression managed to add a new wound to his heart. Frankly, I no longer consider Raskal a child he can be proud of.

Back then and until now, Dad had high expectations for his children. At least Dad wants Kak Sandi to graduate with cumlaude grades in physics and chemistry. While Raskal must get the highest championship title in the field of sports. Mothers only support whatever their children like.

But since the mother died and Raskal suffered an injury to his shoulder, Dad no longer cares even about Raskal. 

For Raskal's father it was a failure. It's been crushed and melted along with all the expectations that Dad has been desperately building.

Like a worn-out doll, Raskal is no longer useful in Dad's eyes.

"Grand eat with us, Dad. Adek just got home from school. Must be tired and hungry."

"You are more tired and hungry. You have learned a lot and been busy to and fro invited by the government and important people thanks to your achievements. Since you arrived this afternoon you haven't eaten anything, have you? Come on, Sandi, Daddy's favorite son. We eat together."

Before his foot stepped on the house, Raskal was already steady and prepared himself as best he could. But his little heart was still spoiled hearing the words of Father who rained on him deeper. Wounds that have not dried are even getting wider. It might soon rot.

Be ill. Raskal's heart was broken by a figure who should be respected and loved. The figure that should give advice or advice support actually destroys the world of Raskal.

He said home is the most comfortable place for people who want to go home. But home is hell for Raskal. Sandi was too busy meeting Dad's expectations until Sandi was late to embrace Raskal when Raskal was no longer craving his embrace.

Plus I no longer exist in Raskal's life, Raskal's world seems to be extinguished by a heartache.

In order to protect the rest of his little heart that had been crushed, Raskal immediately shut himself into the room. Not forgetting to lock the door.

Five-day-Raskal had to hold back for five days. After those people leave, Raskal's life will return as it was.

Just in case, Raskal contacted Jian. At times Raskal wanted to escape, he knew where he had to go.

Jians :

Don't bother my house. Even my mother asks you more often and considers you her son than I - _-

Reading Jian's message made Raskal smile for a while. At least Raskal is still grateful there are other families who actually consider his presence.

Before going to bed, Raskal packed up his clothes for him to bring tomorrow to school.

...-0- ...

"Sir, how are you?"

Raskal. He had just devoured his breakfast stopped hearing Jian's question.

Jian sighed rewarded with Raskal's hateful look.

"I was just asking Kak Sandi. Don't be mad." Said Jian pouting.

Jian had long known Raskal and his past. Although not too know many things, but Jian was also saddened by the trials that Raskal had experienced so far.

Jian recalled, five years ago his best friend would cheerfully explain how happy he was with the small, whole family he had. Having a father with a myriad of expectations for him, Mother who always supported him, also Kak Sandi who was always on the side of Raskal melted after the mother was gone and Raskal suffered a shoulder injury due to participating in the Basketball tournament.

But because of the incident of shoulder injury experienced by Raskal, Raskal's father felt his hope was dashed in an instant. Not to mention the loss of the figure of Mother makes Father, Sis Sandi and Raskal feel hit.

The injury experienced by Raskal also affects the condition of Raskal's body which makes Raskal can no longer follow all sports. Except running or simple physical exercise. It should also be monitored so that the movement does not interfere with Raskal's injury.

It made Dad even more upset. The hope is pseudo and I don't accept that fact.

Then the only thing I hope for now is Kak Sandi. Bringing Kak Sandi to a place that can support his education as high as possible without caring for the figure of Raskal who still needs his attention.

Knowing that, Jian was very sad and concerned about the conditions experienced by Raskal. Jian's mother did not hesitate to embrace Raskal after Jian said Raskal's contribution. Jian remembered that night Raskal came to his house with Raskal crying a hiccup, then Mother Jian immediately invited Raskal in and stayed for a while, also giving and channeling the attention and affection that Mother Jian gave was the same as the affection that she gave Jian.

Mother's divided affection makes Jian grateful, Raskal does need to be embraced and Jian is very happy his mother helped him. Often they together made Jian consider Raskal like his sister because Jian was born two months before Raskal.

"Would you go to school or would you like to go home?" Jian asked after tidying up his cutlery. Seeing Raskal moody and lethargic, it did not seem to allow Raskal to go to school.

Raskal arrived at his house at five in the morning. Raskal deliberately went out so that he did not have to bother to meet Father and Kak Sandi. His phone was also intentionally not turned on. Raskal is sure Sandi will look for him.

Even if Kak Sandi does not look for him, Raskal does not care.

"Not going to school, but you'll be mad if I skip school." Raskal had already summoned Mother Jian with Mother. Mother told Raskal. Since Raskal often ran away to Jian's house, Raskal actually felt that Jian's house was the real home.

Jian's father was rarely at home because of sailing. Go home once every three months. So I'm really happy that Raskal went home and stayed overnight. The house grew more alive when Jian and Raskal were at home.

"You wanna hang out at Bang Toyib's? Don't wear a uniform, but. You can play PS there. I have a bonus free play PS there, later say it's the same Bang Toyib use my name. But you wait for me to get home from school."

Jian's proposal sounded fun. Raskal nodded and immediately finished his breakfast. After breakfast, they leave together.

...-0- ...

Enjoying the afternoon air under the trees is quite pleasant as well. The lush tree swung melodiously following the motion of the wind that was lurking. The sounds of the handcuffs between the leaves and the twigs collide, bringing peace to Raskal's mind.

It was enough he enjoyed the PS for two hours. Raskal's bored. Raskal was not like Jian who was addicted to console games. Raskal likes to read books, listen to music or play basketball casually.

But now Raskal can not play basketball anymore, but in the past Raskal can not be separated from the ball to race it. But now the ball was like something Raskal could no longer touch. Strange, but that's the truth.

Raskal stared at the towering school building reaching into the sky. The school building is sturdy, crowded, and looks fun. It's a break hour now. The voices of the disciples were quite audible from Raskal's position. Not too noisy, but Raskal knows how crowded the school is now during the break.

Raskal grew bored, he took out something in his pants pocket; a taker and a cigarette. Not long ago Raskal idly bought it at the store Bang Toyib. Raskal was a smoker, but he never bought or smoked around school. Raskal will smoke if at home or elsewhere.

But this tranquility still cannot dampen Raskal's emotions. All the actions and behavior of his father yesterday really hurt his heart, although Raskal often experienced if Kak Sandi at home. But still, his heart was injured so many times and Raskal began to be confused on how to heal this wound quickly.

Raskal lights the bat and directs it to the end of the cigarette. He took a sip and then blew smoke into the air. The nicotine in the cigarette began to spread in Raskal's mouth, then spread to Raskal's head. He sighed. Relax oneself. Fused to the serenity of the ambiance that surrounds.

"Rabby,"

Raskal flinched, snapping quickly at Nala who was also snapped by his presence at Bang Toyib's shop.

"Raskal. here.."

Nala gasps to see Raskal sitting in Bang Toyib's tavern without wearing a school uniform. Not only that, Nala was surprised also by a new fact that the idol was smoking near the school area.

Raskal.. smoking?

Nala hurriedly turned to look the other way before Raskal realized Nala was watching the cigarette between her fingers.

"Well, are you here?"

Raskal tried not to be disturbed by the presence of Nala around him. Even Raskal deliberately did not turn off his cigarette or hide it. Let it go, let Nala know the bad side. Smoker, skipped school, what else? Oh-the kids that are not considered.

Even if Nala reported her behavior to everyone, Raskal did not care. He did not care about anyone, except Jian and Mother who had been giving their hands sincerely.

Nala again gasped at Raskal's cold tone. Nala's guts vibrate. Fearful. But Nala tried not to recede. Their meeting here was not an accident. So Nala thinks that fate still supports her to meet Raskal here. Though Nala was sad when Jian announced Raskal did not enter school because of illness.

"Anu. that's. hmm. I.." Nala told Mr. Andre to photocopy the tasks to be distributed to the class. The co-operative is closing, so Nala has to leave school for a photocopy outside.

"Requipped. photo. coffee.. Mr. Andre.." Nala showed me a book that would be copied a lot. Then Nala immediately went to the copier to remember that Pak Andre was waiting for her, leaving Raskal still staring at her towards the photocopy.

Raskal did not pay attention to Nala anymore. He took another sip of his cigarette and exhaled it slowly into the air. His gaze was blank. There was a sense of uneasiness scooping up his chest. Maybe it's because Nala saw him skipping and smoking here, so..

"Rabby.."

Raskal flinched again seeing Nala already standing behind him. Now the girl had hugged a pile of copies of the task and was holding a bag of ice.

Then Nala gave one copy to Raskal.

"This is Mr. Andre's assignment. Just gathered next week. I love you one so you can do it at home. Later I told Jian that I met here and gave you a task. I promise I won't tell anyone you're here. I can't wait for long, Mr. Andre is waiting for me."

Again and again Raskal gasped. Nala was suddenly nearby and gave her a task, without stammering even once.

Their gazes met, then Raskal's gaze descended on the copy and a bag of ice in Nala's hand.

Raskal had not intended to take a copy of his task, instead he was glued to a bag of ice and took turns staring at Nala. Raskal's one hand went up, about to take a copy of his assignment. But before that, Raskal leaned over his body, pointed his lips at the ice straw and drank it.

"Thank you." He said after spending half Nala's drink and taking a copy of Mr. Andre's duty.

Nala sculpting. Raskal had just drank his ice from his straw that had touched his lips before. And Raskal just drank his ice with the same straw.

Before Nala shouted hysterically in front of Raskal, Nala hurriedly darted and left Raskal with all awkwardness and a tinge of red appearing on Raskal's cheeks.

Cigarettes no longer attract attention, because now Raskal is confused on how to relieve a sudden heartbeat craze in his chest cavity.